7 Ways You Can Check In With Your Girl


Your girl longs for you to show up, s-l-o-w d-o-w-n, and really see her. Here are seven ways to do just that!

  1. Choose “be” over “do.” Your girl is not looking for you to do more, she simply wants you to be more present. Go on a walk, color, or linger over her bedtime routine.
  2. Ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions with “yes” or “no” answers. Rather than asking, “Did you have a good day?” Ask, “What was the best part of your day?”
  3. Share the same screen. Instead of being on separate devices, phones, or the TV, share a screen. Then ask thoughtful questions about what you see.
  4. Three cheers. Clink your water bottles, lemonade glasses, or favorite lattes to celebrate 1) Who your girl is, 2) Who you see her becoming, 3) What you like about her.
  5. Look her in the eye when you talk. Your girl longs to be seen. Eye contact shows your girl that she has your full attention.
  6. Play roses/thorns/buds. Ask your girl to share the best part of her day (rose), the worst part (thorn), and what she’s most looking forward to right now (bud).
  7. Tell her she is LOVED. Period. No matter how your girl feels, remind her that nothing can change how much she is loved by God and you.


Want to connect more with your girl? Download these free conversation starters that will help you get to know your girl in easy, fun ways! Stick them in your purse to pass the time in your car, coffee shop, or any place you can catch a moment to connect.


Checking in matters. Connect with the tween girl in your life and remind her she is LOVED. Period. The LOVED. U & ME Conversations Kit by GEMS Girls' Clubs is an engaging, four-session Bible study that strengthens a girl’s relationship with God and her mom (or mentor). Check it out!

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