Concerns About an Elder

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I was a member of a congregation that elected a man to become an Elder without knowing his true background. According to the information in 1Timothy 3, this man does not come near to the Biblical requirements of an Elder let alone the church standards.

The Bible also says we shall not gossip. I agree with all Biblical matters. I am the one that was injured by this man. It was an Emotional Abuse of his position and of his knowledge. I was fooled into thinking he was a friend. Then he did some things that any real good Christian man would not do.

He spoke aloud to people of my financial issues. I know clearly it was him as the person who ended up coming to me over these matters only knew him in my circle of friends. He also said where he got his information from.

This man sits as an Elder in the CRC. I am gravely concerned about this. He simply does not meet what the Bible says and I am not sure how to have him removed from his position. I have moved away now and he is some 5 hours from me so I am safe from the harm he has caused me. But he has indeed caused me some harm that will last the rest of my life. He chose to speak to  more than one person about my situation and it has caused me permanent damage. He denies this wholly. 

I would not bring this, to this forum if I knew the answer of what to do. Please if someone would assist me in directing me as to what steps I must take. He should not sit as an elder as he is not clean, he is money greedy, he is rather selfish, he is not honest nor true to God. Now that I have been harmed I wonder how many more can he harm in his present position.

I will look forward to reading your advise on this thread. May God guide you in the answers you provide and that they be Biblically based all of them.

In His Name

J

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In my opinion, you should inform both the pastor of the church and the head of the elders (this may be the same person) of the grievances that you have, preferably in writing.  Be specific about the facts and which behaviours you felt were out of line.  Ask that you receive a follow-up phone call to discuss the situation.

What should then happen is that a small group of elders will meet with this person to discuss the concerns.  It may be that this person will deny these charges, or they may confess them.  In either case, the situation is exposed to the light, and everyone becomes aware of the seriousness of confidentiality.  If there are other complaints about this individual's conduct as well, council may decide to take a stricter action, but understand that one case is probably not enough to remove someone from council.

The hard part for you will then be to move on and forgive this person, even if the issue does not receive closure in the way you are hoping.  Trust that the leadership of the church will make a good decision, and pray about it.  But don't hang on to anger and bitterness, and remember that you are not responsible for the actions of others, only for the way you respond to them.  When dealing with church leadership in the future, emphasize that you expect confidentiality.

I'm sorry that this situation has happened to you, and I hope, and pray, that justice will be done.