On Choosing Whom to Live With

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I was watching a program on the Investigation Discovery channel during which the detectives investigating a murder find out that an informant had his gun and other belongings stolen by his roommate, and that said roommate ended up using the gun to murder an innocent man.

I have thought for a long time now that people considering an intimate relationship with someone should ask that individual for character references. We ask them of prospective cleaning ladies or other employees, and we only see them for a number of hours each week, if that often. Is anyone dumb enough to assume that because people will live with us, that will stop them from robbing us blind?

Granted, it doesn’t sound very romantic, but I’m pretty sure that finding out after the honeymoon that your spouse is a) a philanderer, b) a swindler or c) an abuser—if you don’t actually discover that during the honeymoon—would be even less romantic.

This is related to what I wrote in the blog On Risk Taking because choosing to share one’s life and home with someone else is taking a risk: the risk that the individual is trustworthy and safe to have around.  

Yet women marry men who will abuse them to death. Or will cheat on them. Or will steal their belongings. And that can be true the other way around too. But many people are in denial and assume that this sort of thing only happens to other people, and they will be able to foil potential thieves, abusers, etc. 

Well, for my part I don’t assume any such thing. I decided long ago that I’d rather die single than be stuck in the wrong kind of relationship. So far, I’ve remained safe, and I hope that when God chooses to send someone my way, that person will be safe.  

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