I will state it directly: We do not have enough emotional or relational maturity in our congregations and in our leadership. Irritations rub and rub until there is smoke and eventually full heated conflict.
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When a group of people, like a congregation, is up to its collective neck in alligators it can take a while before a good collective decision is made and even more time before there is enough collective will to proceed into the agreed-upon action. I think that coaching is an effective way for the congregation to converse.