In my opinion, you should inform both the pastor of the church and the head of the elders (this may be the same person) of the grievances that you have, preferably in writing. Be specific about the facts and which behaviours you felt were out of line. Ask that you receive a follow-up phone call to discuss the situation.
What should then happen is that a small group of elders will meet with this person to discuss the concerns. It may be that this person will deny these charges, or they may confess them. In either case, the situation is exposed to the light, and everyone becomes aware of the seriousness of confidentiality. If there are other complaints about this individual's conduct as well, council may decide to take a stricter action, but understand that one case is probably not enough to remove someone from council.
The hard part for you will then be to move on and forgive this person, even if the issue does not receive closure in the way you are hoping. Trust that the leadership of the church will make a good decision, and pray about it. But don't hang on to anger and bitterness, and remember that you are not responsible for the actions of others, only for the way you respond to them. When dealing with church leadership in the future, emphasize that you expect confidentiality.
I'm sorry that this situation has happened to you, and I hope, and pray, that justice will be done.
Posted in: Concerns About an Elder
In my opinion, you should inform both the pastor of the church and the head of the elders (this may be the same person) of the grievances that you have, preferably in writing. Be specific about the facts and which behaviours you felt were out of line. Ask that you receive a follow-up phone call to discuss the situation.
What should then happen is that a small group of elders will meet with this person to discuss the concerns. It may be that this person will deny these charges, or they may confess them. In either case, the situation is exposed to the light, and everyone becomes aware of the seriousness of confidentiality. If there are other complaints about this individual's conduct as well, council may decide to take a stricter action, but understand that one case is probably not enough to remove someone from council.
The hard part for you will then be to move on and forgive this person, even if the issue does not receive closure in the way you are hoping. Trust that the leadership of the church will make a good decision, and pray about it. But don't hang on to anger and bitterness, and remember that you are not responsible for the actions of others, only for the way you respond to them. When dealing with church leadership in the future, emphasize that you expect confidentiality.
I'm sorry that this situation has happened to you, and I hope, and pray, that justice will be done.