Walt V

I've been thinking a lot about that quote, seeking God's face and not his hand.  In the last week or so I daily have prayed the first three petitions of what we usually call "the Lord's prayer."  Jesus says this is what we "need" (Matt 6:7-10): his Name acknowledged as holy; his kingdom coming on earth as in heaven; his will done on earth as in heaven.  

When I pray regarding his Name, I think of his desire to show the holiness of his name: "I will show myself holy" (Lev 10:3).  When we seek his Face, that is, His Deep and Heavy Presence; and when we "find" him as we seek him (according to his promise, Deut 4:29, etc), we can expect to share in his holiness (Heb 12:10).  The more we seek him, the more we'll become aware of the sin that still clings and entangles (Heb 12:1).  It is a great comfort that when Simon Peter catches a glimpse of who Jesus really is, and he reacts by telling Jesus to "go away" because he is sinful, Jesus does not (Luke 5:8-11).

Your words hit home to me; I've been there: "I've done 24 funerals (in two years), three of which have been for someone under the age of 70."  It is incredibly emotionally draining, and at the same time a great privilege to walk alongside the family.

One aspect of facing so much death is that it forces us to acknowledge our own mortality.  Theoretically believers should not fear death, since it is only "falling asleep" and not the end (Heb 2:15), yet if we have not faced that we ourselves will one day die, doing funerals can be even harder on us.  So, regularly meditating on Psalm 39 & 90 will assist us in working through it.  I have found that facing my physical death also helped me better understand the spiritual rhythm: of dying to self and living for God (Rom 6).  Another thing: if we ourselves are grieving a loss and have not dared face into the pain of that, doing funerals will once again remind us of our own grief.  It took me two years to realize that I was angry at God for not "saving" (healing) my mother who had cancer.  In all of this, we pastors need to "take care of ourselves" if we ever hope to be able to "take care of our flock."  

One final note: Psalm 23 verse 4 speaks of our Shepherd walking "through" the valley of death with us.  The pain of that walking lessens over time, though I do not think we'll ever stop "missing" the loved one gone away.

I think it's important to learn, through the Spirit, to make the most of every opportunity.  One of the things I'm trying to practice is speaking to those I encounter while walking to my office, establishing connections with them, and when the opportunity comes, raise spiritual issues to them.  I am trying to follow the model Jesus gives in John 4.  I love how John tells that Jesus "had to" go through Samaria.  This was not what most Jews would do; they went around Samaria.  Not Jesus.  And when he meets the woman at the well, he begins with a non-threatening request: basically, a cup of cold water.  He then turns the conversation into spiritual, by speaking of the living water.  I'm getting to know someone along the route I take to my office, and he was using a tool to weed his driveway.  I pointed out that it is good for us to work with soil, since we ourselves are made of dust.  That opened the door to a small spiritual talk with the man.

I am convinced that if we pray for the opportunities, we will find them, and be alert to them.  Our conversation needs to be seasoned with salt as well as full of grace.  We need to be real, and we need to make people thirsty by what we say, thirsty to think more about this God whose kingdom is breaking in.