Kelly Sibthorpe

Doug,

Yes, you are semantically correct. Thank-you for bringing clarity. Authority to exercise power of course is granted by the people as we have just witnessed yesterday in the mid-terms. Correct, patriarchal authority structures is more proper, the point being, through empirical observation is that most church denominational structures are patriarchal as are the majority of business and institutional structures. Thankfully, women are gaining ground.

The key, in this church structure authority discussion is, who are the qualified givers and receivers of authority? Who are the stake-holders responsible to delegate or appoint authority? Does this authority to grant power reside equally with both genders? Traditionally, authority to grant power has been the domain of males. More recently, females have been "allowed" to hold church offices. In other words, there is wrestling going on. Who allows who to do what? Is this authority to exercise power based on gender, race, socioeconomic standing? Naturally we are to look to the scriptures for guidance and not tradition to put into place proper authority structures.

 

Hi Everyone,The statistics I cited come from Baylor University are accurate for all North American Denominations (+ or - 3%). Baylor is a highly respected institution that produces state of the art research in religious sociology. Baylor's research into clergy sexual abuse and statistics describing the degree of the  problem have been used to assist law enforcement agencies and judiciaries in several states change their laws to criminalize acts that clergy do that sexualize relationships meant to be professional. 

Roger, your opinions are simply not valid. The reason most women report acts of abuse is because they fear retribution or recrimination. Only 1in 7 incidents are ever reported or if someone wants to come forward they are told by an elder to "let it go, you will harm his reputation". The victims are ignored and the powerful are protected. I will never forget, after speaking on the floor of our Classis during the  overture debate process to revise church article 83,  what happened to me in the washroom at break. I was speaking quite strongly in defense of victims saying, "how long will so many of our people continue to sit in silent suffering while we allow perpetrators of sexual abuse to go with a slap on the wrist. It has to stop!" Our session ended with a break and I went to the washroom. There were two older men in the washroom. They both, one at a time, told me of their daughter's and a grand-daughter' sexual abuse at the hands of an elder and pastor. The daughter is now a depressive alcoholic. The other victims has depressive disorder complicated by substance abuse. These men came to me on behalf of the silenced who have no voice. Roger, your lack of empathy for the writer of the story of which these comments are a follow-up reveal that you do not understand the issue. You opinion is irrelevant because it is not true. The case was obviously mishandled, justice was not done. There are no teeth in church courts...A guilty man is saved, the victim is squashed. 

I'm happy to report that all the men under the leadership of my wife (Ordained Minister of the Word and Sacrament) feel safe, as she adheres to her marriage vows and would never consider abusing a man under her pastoral care. She is one of the 98/100 pastors who are Not abusers.

God preserve and protect those who are under the power of the 2% of leadership in the CRC and all denominations who abuse their power. Thank-you Lord for the 98% of our leaders who adhere to their ordination vows and who do not break them. We love them so... Help us to identify and root out those among us who need to be deposed for their abusive behavior. Preserve the lives of victims, heal them from depression, suicidal ideation and fear. Many have left both the faith and church.  Restore them once again to your community. Strengthen them Lord and help them to be courageous survivors, fearlessly telling their stories.  Provide all the support and pastoral care they need. Amen.

 

Bev,

Correct, the actual statistics are higher. The 2% a"across the board in  all professional spheres represent the percentage of cases where actual  conviction with disciplinary action was carried out.

Wes's stroy is heartbreaking. The church is too safe for perpetrators and unsafe for many vulnerable people. The importance of Safe Church in turning this evil around is vital to the health of the church. Safe Church practice must be practiced in every CRC, sadly as Synod laments, only half of Classes and churches  support safe church practices. Why the resistance,? The typical answer being, "Not in my Church, it doesn't happen here". 

 

Roger,

The + or - 3% is the statistical variation of 100 individuals in a sample.

I am a man Roger and my wife is my pastor at Good News CRC in London Ontario. She has been ordained  as a Minister of Word and Sacrament for 11 years.

And again, church article 83 disqualifies your "opinion". Please take the time to read it. Synod has ruled against your opinion on this matter.

Kelly

 "Until all CRC's", Synod lamented, "adopt safe church policies", vulnerable people could be subject to abuse of power. Synod is aware. Are you?  Where is the Holy Spirit in this? The Spirit leads toward seeking justice for the weak, just as Jesus modeled for us in the call to be his image bearers.  

Roger,

The + or - 3% is the statistical variation of 100 individuals in a sample.

I am a man Roger and my wife is my pastor at Good News CRC in London Ontario. She has been ordained  as a Minister of Word and Sacrament for 11 years. Please look at the avatar on my post. That's me with the beard, my daughter and grand-daughter.

And again, church article 83 disqualifies your "opinion". Please take the time to read it. Synod has ruled against your opinion on this matter.

Kelly

Bev,

 

Thank-you for the link to the "Pyramid of  Abuse". It is a fine summary of organizational systems theory, surrounding the foundations of abuse of power in its forms. Church systems have similar organizational structures, varying of course by denomination and therefore open to the development of abusive practices. I'm sorry you have to know many of the stories. Its hard to ingest and remain unchanged. I do not believe most pastors talk about this. When pastors get together, the talk surrounds theology, preaching, troubles or success with council. I do believe that most pastors understand "emotional affair". The pastors I know are men  and women of good character. I personally do not know, the 1 in 50 pastors that are serious abusers. I did know one, but thankfully, deposed. 

I remember studying in my pastoral theology class that women sometimes will set a "trap" for a pastor and ensnare him. We were taught to be wary of this type of woman as she could "ruin your ministry." (We now understand that the pastor ruined his ministry, not the woman). We were taught to report such a person immediately to wife and council. In other words, keep your professional boundaries. 

A pastor whose marriage is not functioning well may be vulnerable to transference and thus the temptation to overlook  proper boundaries, This continues to be known by some as "incitement" and thus victim blame and shame are the result, the sacrificial lamb to save the more "Important" ah-hem... "shepherd".

 

For those interested, here is the link to some of the research papers produced by Baylor.

The document by Dr. Garland, "Wolves in Shepherd's Clothing" (see the link for bibliography) is of particular interest and outlines the progression of the "Grooming Process" of victims used by predatory clergy. This paper among the other academic papers listed was referenced extensively during the article 83 process of revision for Synod 2016. I'm sure you will find it "eye-opening". It is a great educational tool for safe church and was used in our presentations to Classis.

 

https://www.baylor.edu/clergysexualmisconduct/index.php?id=68148

peace,

Kelly

 

 

 

Hi All,

This public forum is important. The hearing of stories helps to bring to light to abuses of power in our midst. Thank-you to "The Network", for publishing sensitive personal histories of people who have the courage to go public.

I myself was the recipient of two incidents of abuse as a young man. I was groped in the genital area twice by perpetrators. I barely escaped one incident in our school washroom by screaming as loud as I could. The perpetrator let go and fled, thankfully. Throughout the remainder of my time at this school, I was terrified of retribution and did not dare tell anyone out of fear and shame. This incident remains in my psyche. God has been gracious in allowing me through grace to bear it.

Of course there are differing interpretations of incidents involving harassment and abuse. From a judiciary view, opinions don't count, only facts count. If the event brought forth by the courageous story teller is true, there is only one interpretation, " guilty of sexual abuse and harassment" based on the incident. The perpetrator has no right to offer an explanation of "I did it in fun" and my intent was misinterpreted. The facts are as follows:

1) A person of unequal (greater) power, granted through ordination, ignored their fiduciary responsibility to respect the sexual safety of someone with lesser power (the retreat participant) contravened this person's right (through church order) to sexual safety.

Roger, or others who may not understand the fiduciary responsibility of a pastor please take the time to research it. A short definition from Webster's dictionary is as follows:

Definition of fiduciary 

 of, relating to, or involving a confidence or trust: such as

a : held or founded in trust or confidence a fiduciary relationship. All pastors and office bearers through ordination vows have a fiduciary responsibility to honor and respect and never contravene the right to sexual safety, a person under their pastoral power and authority. Period. This includes any incidents of sexual innuendo or any form of touch not in keeping with that  responsibility. Sadly, in the nineties and even today, the 2%, give or take of office bearers within the CRC who abuse their relationships of trust are often defended as "wandering for a time". 

2) Professional associations including the Canadian Medical Association, Governments, Police Associations, the military, National Counseling Associations and other bodies that employ professionals have strict codes of codes of practice outlining the grounds for sexual harassment and assault. Research shows that professional associations all experience the same rates of abuse, i.e., approximately 2% of the professionals in their ranks abuse their power.

The penalties within these associations vary, however within medical associations, any contravention involving sexual harassment or abuse against patients requires relinquishing of professional credentials. The same is true for Psychiatric and Counseling Associations of professionals. Interestingly, the same holds true for our denomination through the institutional and constitutional framework of church article 83 (revised 2016, Acts of Synod). For anyone reading this blog who believes their opposing opinions matter regarding contraventions of church order article 83 would do well to inform themselves of the dangers in 2018 of abuse of power. This is not 1993. A lot has changed since our courageous story teller was harassed by this pastor. Unfortunately, the ecclesiastical power structures still in place may lead to the protection of those in power and the silencing of victims and survivors due to the very nature of how power is exercised. For every victim that tells their story, there are 10 victims who remain in silence out of fear of the power that dominates them.

There is still much work to do to make our churches safe. Proceeding with initiatives including Classical Safe Church Coordinators for every Classis with ongoing education of congregations and pastoral education courses at seminary outlining  the nature of abuse and its consequences are a step forward. A reminder to those who believe their is room for interpretation or opinion regarding incidents of harassment that are in fact true, take heed.

As in a court of law, when there is proof beyond reasonable doubt of a break in the relationship of trust, through boundary crossing, the accused is guilty and should bear the necessary consequences of their actions, including relinquishment of professional credentials.

Kelly

Hello Roger and all,

With due respect to your office Roger, please take the time to do your own investigation into this issue. There have been a variety of current resources cited here to read. It will be much more helpful to you if you read all the information cited in this blog in a process of discovery, rather than asking me questions. Clearly, you do not believe the information I provided.

The research and information you discover will enlighten you surrounding changes that have taken place since 1995. The changes to attitudes in society and the practical re-engineering of church order to reflect those changes  would not have resulted in the exoneration of the accused pastor nor would have judged the judgment of the elders in question as correct or disciplinary. 

Kelly