Faith Nurture

What to Do - And Not Do - in Church on Mother's Day

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As a mom, I look forward each year to that magical day in May when my offspring feel compelled by Hallmark and FTD Flowers to lay gifts at my feet in gratitude for my mothering. And I love that I get to do the same for the two mothers in my life.

But each year as I head to church on Mother’s Day, I brace myself for the well-intended celebrations of motherhood that hurt those in God’s family for whom Mother’s Day is a source of pain.

A colleague introduced me to this beautiful prayer by Amy Young that considers the wide spectrum of mothering. Young has also written this list of 10 ideas for pastors on Mother’s Day. Along with some simple “Do’s” and three important “Don’ts,” the list points people to resources and provides tips for Sunday school teachers.

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Karen Deboer
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Faith Formation Ministries

Posted On

April 30, 2018

Updated On

May 1, 2019
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Denise Posie on May 1, 2018

Thanks Karen for sharing your colleague's good ideas for ways to honor mothers on Mother's Day. Although I've never been a mother, I celebrate with those who are and when necessary share the pain for those who have never been a mother or loss a child.

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Ken Van Dellen on May 2, 2018

Nice thoughts, nice prayer, messy topic.

Some childless women feel a loss on Mother's Day and some men also feel a loss on Father's Day (and maybe on Mother's Day, too). I do. I also took abuse from other guys who became aware that we had infertility problems, including one who asked, when I excitedly said we were adopting, whose "fault" it was.

I will be forever grateful to the two young women who gave us our adopted daughters, I hope that they will not feel pain on Mother's Day, and I wish they had been able to know what became of their birth daughters. My wife is also grateful to them for their gifts to us, but also partly because they made it possible for her to be a mother "the easy way", as she says.

I hope it's OK to share the story of our family, all of whom, after mom and me, sons-in-law included, were either adopted or the result of adoption. Read it here: https://rtl.org/realstories/vandellen.html

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Diane Dykgraaf on May 3, 2018

Beautiful! Thank you, Ken.

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