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I’ve been thinking a lot about growing lately. And that’s been changing how I look at a lot of things.
Let me explain.
A Project House
Last fall my wife and I bought a house. A 150-yr-old house, actually. It looked pretty good from the curb but once you stepped inside its semi-neglected rental-property state became evident. I spent the past months sanding warped wooden floors both upstairs and downstairs, tearing out a water-damaged kitchen and carefully restoring or installing the cabinets that would better suit our purposes. And don’t get me started on what our downstairs bathroom required to bring it to the point where it wouldn’t embarrass us when guests might visit. Along the way I also poured a lot of time into the repairs that that one should expect when buying an old house, but always seemed to catch me by surprise.
There are people who are really good at figuring out just how to do a certain repair, cleverly making something broken work like new again. I’m not like that. I tend to have a lot more courage than competence when it comes to these things.
Nonetheless, it feels really good to spend a few hours figuring out a challenge and then see immediate results. Floors that had no shine in the morning sporting a pleasing gloss by the evening. A faucet with newly-running water. You see a difference because of what you’ve done. I like that.
Lawn Season
But that was last winter. Now it’s a new season: lawn season.
I have a basic knowledge of landscaping, thanks to several part-time jobs in my youth. Nonetheless, it’d been a long time since I faced a challenge quite like this yard. There wasn’t much growing anywhere in the front or the back of the house. (Actually, that’s not quite true: there were a number of weeds that seemed to be flourishing in the apparent absence of “real” grass.)
To brush up my skills, I did a lot of research into the best strategies for quickly growing a respectable lawn. I found that there aren’t any. Sprucing up a lawn is not as simple as brushing on a coat of varnish. It takes time.
I had a lot of homework to do. I talked to the nice people in our hardware store. A lot. I visited web sites. I learned that there’s a sequence to these efforts, most involving powerful chemicals that would need to be spread over our lawn. (I know, I know…) First apply weed killer to the lawn, then wait a week before even thinking about spreading new grass seed or you’ll kill off the wrong plants. Then apply fertilizer. Then water it all. Every day, whether you feel like it or not.
So, a few weeks ago I started doing all that. After waiting the requisite number of days post-weed killer, I spread out the grass seed and the fertilizer, and stepped back to survey my work. My eyes surveyed our lawn and saw…
well…nothing had changed.
I knew that I had done everything that the Helpful Hardware Man had recommended, but it didn’t seem to have helped.
Along the way I’m realizing that these things take time. Time for the weed killer to slowly do its thing before you can safely spread grass seed. Time for the grass seed to germinate, so that it can send up the new blades of grass that could take the place of the weeds. Time for the fertilizer to help the blades of grass develop the bright green presence I’d been hoping for. A lot of watering, for no apparent progress. But that’s how it goes, I was told.
A few weeks have passed since then. This morning I walked back to our backyard shed and was surprised to discover that some changes had been happening. As promised, a lot of the weeds had begun to shrivel, surrendering their reign over our yard. And most importantly, grass had begun to grow. The existing grass seemed to have been encouraged, and I swear I was seeing new shoots emerging in the mix, spreading their claim on things. I was starting to see a uniform shade of bluegrass where the lawn had once looked like Joseph’s coat of many colors.
And here I thought nothing had been happening!
How God looks at us
In the Bible God makes it clear that He’s at work in all things, making us new, shaping us into his image, to be more like Him. It’d be nice to think that His work will result in steady progress. You know, every day things moving steadily up and to the right.
But I’m coming to wonder if the new life He’s promised to grow in me is more like the new lawn that the hardware store promised me when I bought the grass seed and fertilizer. At times a lot of effort into fighting temptations or managing semi-carnal worries without a lot of obvious progress. Steady irrigation with Living Water, even if it doesn’t seem to be helping. But if I do those things there are other days when I’m surprised to notice a change in my interior world. A new burst of compassion for someone difficult in my life. A renewed desire to shape my life around God’s dreams for me, even if they might be different from mine. Less worry. More joy.
When I’m painting or staining, the progress is clear and predictable. With every stroke of the brush or roller, things look a little bit more like the new color scheme. But out on the lawn, things are different. I guess it’s because I’m not the one making it happen. I’m just setting the stage for something else that happens, often underground. Something that only God can do.
Actually, I’ve begun to wonder if God has been simply helping me read these simple words from Philippians 2:13 a little better:
“…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
I’d love to be made completely new. As in…right now. To be lifted above my worries and vaccinated against all temptations. I’d love to experience perma-joy, my heart overflowing with love for my neighbor.
There are days when I feel none of those things, despite my best efforts. But there are a surprising number of days when I do. And as I keep coming to the Master Landscaper for help, I’m finding that he’s watering and feeding my soul, like a long-neglected lawn being made new.
I'm growing. Actually…God’s growing me.
How has He been growing you?
Biblical Justice, Faith Nurture
Faith Nurture
Faith Nurture
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