Rod Hugen

Sigh, I probably should have flagged this as inappropriate. :)

For the record, I am not nine feet tall. I'm only 6'8" which I have always believed is a normal height, though I have noticed that there are an enormous number of people who are well below average. This 'poem' was intended to be deadly serious and I am stunned that it produced any laughter at all at the Synod banquet. It was quite painful to be laughed at when one is trying to offer their best work and then find out that I also get mis-described by the communications folks of the CRC. It is beyond comprehension. I imagine this will give me something to process with my counselor in the days ahead...

:)

Rod

I'm sure the picture was photo shopped. The CRC media folks have all kinds of tricks up their sleeves. Who could possibly be that tall? I do wish that the photo shoppers would have removed some of those pounds that the camera, umm, added...

Thanks Jay,

I appreciate your response. I agree that the church has the ability to do far more for this woman than we think given the resources God has poured out on us. Since she was gone by the time I heard she wouldn't be getting the job, I had no opportunity to approach her and see what I could do to help her out of my church community. Sometimes when I read things such as you wrote I confess I feel guilty. I have been given much and can offer much. I think I violate the law of love toward my neighbor all the time. I remember addressing a class of students at the local community college and one of the students asked if he could shake my hand. He made quite a spectacle of coming in front of the students and shaking my hand and then turned to his classmates and said, "As you know I am a nurse at the mental health hospital and this pastor's church is an amazing place that cares for and helps mentally ill people. They are amazing! I wish all churches were like theirs where it is safe to be mentally ill and where those who struggle are loved and cared for and I wish their church could do even more because the need is so great." I was taken aback and a bit embarrassed because I didn't think we do all that much. We do work with folks who suffer from such diseases as bipolar disorders and depression and interact often with the psychiatric community, and we do try to love well the folks God brings into our purview, but it doesn't quite have the feel this man portrayed. The nurse chatted with me more after class and I asked him what specefic things we did that were helpful. He said, "Look, I am not a believer and I don't go to church, but your church treats those who are mentally ill with dignity and respect. Several times when you or your church members have brought folks to us, you have asked to stay and help and see if there is anything else you can do. You have called and followed up and asked good questions. You have come to visit. You have arranged to have folks picked up and you have even found places in your community where folks can live. That is awesome. Most people just call the cops when there is someone disrupting their worship service, but you gently love the people that most people avoid and despise. The thing is, I still dwell on the statement 'I wish your church could do even more since the need is so great'. What does more look like for me and my community?

I very much agree that our churches contain the resources we need to exercise the gospel of good works. We can very practically love our neighbor. We don't share because we are greedy or we don't share because we think it is someone else's job or we don't share because we are too terrified. After all, one of our bi-polar members threatened to shoot my co-pastor's family and pulled a knife on me. It is sometimes very hard to love because it takes us out of our demand to live in comfort and without threat. That, too, is a mistrust of God's largess, me thinks. When I am facing a man who is off his meds and who is holding a knife, I have to trust God's providential care in very real ways.

On the other hand, I also remember Jesus famous question: Do you want to be healed? Sometimes in my sin I have been pitied and that has felt like love and has hindered me from becoming whole. I like being dragged to the water's edge and waiting for it to ripple. I like the attention it affords me. In this sin twisted world I like to manipulte others to do those things I could do for myself. I have studied those rippling waters for so many years I know I could roll in at just the right time, but I don't dare. I don't want to be healed. Healing means I have to be responsible and become generous and a giver and a dragger of others to the water. It is easier to stay where I am.

I also have a responsibility to make my need known. This is also hard to do. I am ashamed to acknowledge my neediness. I know what it is like to be unemployed and I refused to let people know my family was suffering because I was too proud to admit I needed help. I bless still those who 'saw' and offered to me generously.

My brother taught me a beautiful lesson once. We were having coffee and the server kept ignoring us and treated us rather meanly. We finally went and got our own refills while she pretended we didn't exist. When I picked up the check (older brothers always do) he offered to leave the tip. He put a twenty on the table and I said, "Are you insane? The check is only two and a half bucks. Besides, that is the worst service I've ever had anywhere!" Mark said, "I know. I want to give her grace. Unmeritted favor. I want her to experience the spectacular goodness of God. I want to blow her mind." We left the diner and she came out after us waving the twenty and saying, "You forgot this." I'll not forget the look on her face when Mark said, "You can keep it." I often think how that outrageous act of generosity might have changed her life.

Uncle John told me many, many years ago that they grew enough corn in Iowa to feed the world. I must have looked at him a bit skeptically so he added, "The soil is good, the seeds are good, the production methods are good, and the water is good. We can harvest it and we can store it. The problems come in the distribution, because that is where our sin shows up." He was a pretty wise man.

Thanks Mark. This was helpful. We have not hired a professional to assist us but my three siblings and I have worked through many of the items on your list as we care for our mother. A couple things that stand out for me. Our mother longs to die in her home. She has no desire to move to a care home or come and live with her children. Back when she was able to think clearly we asked her what she wanted to have happen as she aged and with tears streaming she assured us that if God should give her the longing of her heart she wanted to die in her home. That is something that we are able to bear in mind now when she is less able to make decisions. I would advise children to have that very awkward conversation earlier rather than later as it has helped tremendously to know her heart's desire.

We recognized that living in her home would require care givers and others to help meet her needs and since none of us live close to her we know that would require hiring those folks. We recently took away her car and that means she needs rides to church and the store and the doctor. We have found those she trusts to help her to do that which she can no longer do. We are not all able to share equally in sharing the burden of providing for Mom and that means we have to deal with those issues as well. It was also important for us as siblings to talk through our own fears and concerns about our future and distinquish those feelings and desires from what is best for Mom. If my own fear is that I won't have moiney for my retirement it is easy to transfer that fear on to Mom's situation when it fact it is not her concern at all.

We also needed to collectively recognize that we can't keep Mom safe. She is elderly and lives alone so it is more likely than not that she will die from some event while in or around her house. Perhaps she will fall in a tub or have a heart attack in the yard and she may suffer before someone arrives to care for her. We can give her a emergency button to push, but we can't make her wear it nor can we keep her from falling. As we discussed that we realized that even if we lived next door it would be hard to 'keep her safe'. Her safety now, as it has always been, is that she belongs to Jesus. As she experiences the joy of living in her home of 50+ years we must remember that there is a real potential cost to that reality.

Some things we have done and are going to do make Mom unhappy. Again, we are not responsible for her happiness. We want her to be happy, but we make good decisions in the collective to make sure she is best cared for. If happiness is the goal she would still be driving but running stop signs and being unable to see down the road means we have to take away that privilege for the sake of others. That upsets her, but it is the wise and necessary thing to do.

Amen and amen to the building of concensus among the family members. It is so important to keep talking until concensus is arrived at.

Rod Hugen

I so appreciate this conversation. I have gotten hooked by my own sinful demand for honor and respect and it is helpful to be reminded who we serve and to whom all honor and glory should go. As a denomination we clearly have not honored the office of Evangelist the way we honor Minister of the Word. Some steps have been taken to begin to remedy that, but we have a long way to go. For instance, the venue we are using to have this conversation still refers to Ministry Associates in the Discussion Forums section and the office is not mentioned at all under Networks although the other offices are featured there. Not to worry, however, since there are very few posts in the Ministry Associate section anyway. :)

I have lived through the title changes from Evangelist to Ministry Associate to Commissioned Pastor. I was sent to Tucson for the purpose of planting a church and being ordained as an Evangelist was a hugely significant moment in my life when I realized that my passion for church planting was not just an individual passion, but one blessed by the broader body. Titles do mean something when they are the mechanism we use to convey the church's recognition of a call from God. In times of great discouragement I have held on to that call that was affirmed by God's church and that  realization has often helped me stumble on.

When the title was changed to Ministry Associate I thought it became a less honoring title. It no longer felt like an office and felt more like a job description title. The office was further changed when we added all sorts of other tasks to the list, such as music director, youth leader, visitation pastor, etc. I think we have successfully gutted the actual Evangelist role of serving as church planters or ministers of evangelism in established congregations. Perhaps that was the desire.

When I was first listed as an Evangelist in the Yearbook (fifteen years ago in September!) the vast majority of the names listed near mine were ethnic minorities. I know that part of the reason for creating the office of Evangelist was to allow those serving the Navajo and Zuni nation churches to be able to preach, offer the sacraments, and bless those to whom no Calvin Seminary graduate was likely to go in Classis Red Mesa. I was regularly approached to go to seminary in those days and become a 'real pastor' or at least try the Article 7 route. It was made quite clear through words and actions that Evangelist was a secondary office. When I attempted the Article 7 path in those days I was told by Synodical deputies that while I might well be qualified, there was no need for more ministers in the CRC and that if I felt so called I should move to Grand Rapids and go to school. More recently I have been asked to test the process once again, but at age 60 I no longer have the inclination or the energy to do so. I do deeply love the role of the Evangelist. I love gathering the not yet gathered and watching them respond to the gospel. I love pouring into the lives of other chuch planters and evangelists and sharing a bit of what I've learned along the way while also continuing to serve the beautiful church God has gathered around me here in Tucson. I can't imagine a day coming when my co-pastor (also a Commissioned Pastor) or I will step away from the Village and turn it over to a Minister of the Word, but instead we will raise up leaders from within our community (something we are already doing) who will take our places. We will encourage them to continue their education and invite them to consider things like distance learning through Calvin as a legitimate and important way to further their training. The Village is a church of very young people who find relational credentials far more important than an educational certification from a distant group. The problem with saying this, of course, is that God might well upset the apple cart and call me elsewhere tomorrow. :)

We have a two tier system. We should acknowledge that and move on. We seem to believe by both our actions and our words that the primary way to raise up leaders is through formal classroom based theological training in approved institutions. There is very little room for any other path. Sometimes I think this only matters when I travel to Grand Rapids or attend a broader church meeting. Here in Tucson, I'm just Pastor Rod. Most days that is enough unless I get hung up on jealousy or some other sinful longing. The God of all grace has indeed been merciful to me in allowing me to see the constant evidence of his great love from a front row seat. Titles fade away, but that love never ends.

Thanks for this. I also wonder how many of the elder delegates are Ministry Associates? I come to Synod as an elder delegate, but the truth is that I have planted and pastored a church for ten years and would more naturally be sitting on the other side of the table except that I lack the formal education. This also seems to skew participation in Synod away from the perspective of elders which might normally be a bit more focused on the specific needs of the local church. I have attended Synod numerous times because my schedule is much more flexible than someone who has a nine to five job non church related job.