Breaking the Silence: A Question of Culture
November 18, 2014
7 comments 217 views
I recently returned from a trip to Ottawa, Ontario, to meet with the Classis Eastern Canada safe church team. I was able to stay an extra day on this trip and had a wonderful time seeing a little bit of the city as well as Parliament Hill. It’s always interesting listening to the news when in another country; it’s good to get a different perspective on things. One of the breaking stories was about a former Liberal MP and cabinet minister Sheila Copps, who shared her personal story of sexual assault by another member of the Provincial Parliament. The incident was not reported at the time, nor did she divulge names now. She also described a separate incident of being raped. That incident was reported to police at the time. She was told that it would be “impossible” to get a conviction, so no criminal charges were filed.
Another high profile case was also in the news, involving a popular CBC radio host, Jian Ghomeshi, who is now the subject of a police investigation after three women filed complaints against him. Six other women have gone to the media with similar stories of physically violent sexual acts against them without their consent.
Breaking the silence in these situations is not easy. There is shame involved, a tendency to blame the one victimized, and often little hope of any meaningful consequences for the one who has perpetrated abuse. One woman felt emboldened to tell her story of sexual harassment on Parliament Hill after the publicity surrounding Ghomeshi (although she still uses a pen name for fear of “repercussions”). She claims her experience is far from unique, and that male dominated power structures contribute to a culture of sexual harassment that thrives on Parliament Hill.
In the U.S., we’ve seen news about the lack of response from the NFL to allegations of violence against women. The NFL has handed out minimal or no penalties to players, even after they were convicted of violent crimes. This reveals a culture in the NFL that tolerates this behavior. The video captured of Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiancée out of an elevator, and the resulting public outcry, has brought this issue out into the light. Hope for change increases as the issue becomes more public and less hidden.
Our denomination and each of our congregations also have a culture. Is it a culture that promotes openness, or one that encourages hiding difficult struggles? What messages are implicit in our culture about disclosing experiences of abuse? Are allegations taken seriously? Can we expect consequences for those who perpetrate abuse, or do we tend to protect those in powerful positions? Do we take into account the natural tendency to blame the one who has been victimized? Abuse thrives in silence and secrecy. How can we develop a culture that encourages breaking the silence?
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Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Bonnie. They challenge us as the Church to have the courage to confront injustice and hurt. May we follow the Spirit's prompting to do so win spite of our fears.
Such thoughtful and true words, Shannon.
the following is an excerpt from the hope of survivors website which is about abuse by spiritual leaders (those who have authority/power in the Church):
To summarize what Marie M. Fortune wrote in her book, Is Nothing Sacred?, the proper steps to take when implementing justice and mercy (based on Micah 6:8) include:
1. Truth-telling (breaking the silence of the abuse)
2. Acknowledging the violation (in hearing the truth, the church acknowledges the violation)
3. Compassion (means to “suffer with,” to be present, acknowledge and listen, even when you can’t solve the problem)
4. Protecting the vulnerable (prevent further harm)
5. Accountability (based on Luke 17:1-4, it begins with confrontation and should end in repentance)
6. Restitution (making payment for damages is a concrete means of renewing right-relation)
7. Vindication (for the victim, it most often means exoneration and justification)
The bottom line: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY–DON’T HIDE!
Thanks for the good words from Marie Fortune, who has worked extensively at the intersection of faith and abuse. Truth telling and acknowledging the wrong are difficult and absolutely necessary first steps. I wonder why that's so hard for us. As Christians, who stand by the grace of God forgiven and loved, it seems that we should be able to do this with one another. What is Christian community without that?
This is some fascinating insight, Bev. I might need to try and find that book!
you probably have already read this... but just in case you haven't and have some time to read it (even if just the introduction of the report)... the link includes a link to the 300 page report that came out of the independent investigation.... I give Bob Jones considerable credit for carrying through with this investigation on their culture regarding sexual abuse...
I was not familiar with this report, Bev. Seems like there was a lot wrong with how they initially handled issues of sexual abuse. Glad they sought out ways to correct and remedy that. I was particularly moved by the comment, "Some participants noted that chapel sermons on forgiveness had pushed (those who experience abuse) to forgive quickly, bypassing (those who experience abuse)'s need for lament". Thank you for sharing this!
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