Do you know how to recognize an abusive relationship? The RAVE (Religion and Violence eLearning) Project website offers excellent resources for clergy and church leaders, service providers and families.
This website provides practical information, tips and checklists in a user-friendly format on a variety of topics, including warning signs of an abusive relationship. Many church leaders miss important signs of abuse, and education can help us be more open to cues that something might be wrong. If we understand how difficult it can be for those being abused to disclose their abuse, we will be better equipped to ask the right questions.
The RAVE project website offers help for victims as well. For example, the frequently asked questions section includes a section, "Are there warning signs in a relationship?" The website goes on to explain that a relationship is not healthy when:
- a person's value and accomplishments are belittled;
- a person's opinions count for nothing;
- a person is called names that are embarrassing, hurtful and degrading;
- a person's likes and dislikes are disregarded;
- a person is intentionally kept away from family and friends;
- there is extreme possessiveness or jealousy;
- a person is threatened;
- a person's family, work, church or friends are disrespected;
- a person is pushed, kicked or hurt;
- a person's faith is ridiculed;
- a person's every move is monitored;
- a person is denied access to food, money or other family resources;
- a person is blamed for all the problems.
Check out the RAVE website for more information and FAQs including:
- What is abuse?
- How common is abuse in intimate relationships?
- How can someone recognize the presence of abuse?
- Why doesn't someone who is suffering abuse leave the abuser?
- Why do some people hurt the partner they claim to love?
- How are children impacted by abuse?
Want to learn more?
Have other resources to share to better equips churches to deal with relationship violence? Please share them with us!