Domestic Violence, the Church, and Gospel Good News

One element of gospel good news is that Jesus, the Word of God (John 1:1), always moves toward us. He reveals himself to us. He makes his home with us. 

God created a garden where He could be with Adam and Eve, and they could know Him. The temple was a second Eden where God came to his people, revealed himself to them, and made his home with them. And ultimately Christ, the Word of God incarnate, moved toward humanity by becoming a human, he revealed himself as the promised Savior, and he took up residence with us for thirty-some years. He continues his residence with us through his Holy Spirit  (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). 

Through the Holy Spirit, an additional way in which God reveals himself to us is the Word of God. We have called this the special revelation of God. As such, the Word of God is indispensable for our knowing and remaining with The Word of God. 

When Jesus was tempted in the desert, he quoted from Deuteronomy 8:3 saying, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) In Deuteronomy that word of God is being compared to the life-sustaining manna provided to the Hebrew people in the desert. 

The Holy Spirit and Scripture, both the Word of God with us, is intended to be our manna: life-giving, life-transforming, and life-sustaining. And yet, sadly, this is not always the case. In situations of intimate partner and/or domestic violence the Word of God can become a weapon used against the more vulnerable, usually women and children.

A research project out of the United Kingdom found that 71% of women who reported abuse to their churches stated that scripture and theology had been used to support the abuse or to excuse it. 

Additionally, scripture is often used to perpetuate the helplessness of those who live in the shadow of those with greater power. 

“‘Cheryl’ shares that based on Matthew 5:39: But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also, she was taught to be a sweet non-confrontational girl, even with abusive leadership figures. 

Cheryl states, “I was a people pleaser, even when they trampled on my needs and feelings.” and “I just allowed my perpetrators to be released of any responsibility, accountability, repentance, and atonement.” (Steven R. Tracy. To Heal or To Harm. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2026.)

How is it that churches who proclaim our God, who is present through the Word and the Holy Spirit, can inflict so much damage in the lives of vulnerable women and children? It seems some have not allowed the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to help them discern the sin in their personal and church lives. Namely there remains a preference to interpret the Word of God through the lens of cultural social norms around aggressive authority and passive submission, rather than the lens of sacrificial authority and mutual submission. 

Safe Haven Ministries, a para-church organization in Grand Rapids, MI, provides education and leadership to churches, helping them gain biblical perspectives on intimate partner abuse, domestic violence, and human trafficking. They are an intentionally faith-based organization which works to “prevent and end relationship abuse and human trafficking.” 

Proudly Safe Haven’s roots are in the CRCNA. It began in 1990 by individuals who recognized the injustice of abuse in our communities and in our own churches, schools, and homes. They longed to be part of the God’s gospel good news, demonstrating a God who moves toward us and lives with us. They demonstrated that good news when opening their first shelter, Ramoth House, on November 1, 1990. It was supported by six Grand Rapids CRC churches: Millbrook, Shawnee Park, Seymour, Alger Park, Plymouth Heights, and Calvin. 

Safe Haven’s work also includes changing systems and social norms.

• We address the root causes that contribute to intimate partner violence to create sustainable change.
• By changing attitudes, behaviors, and policies that contribute to relationship abuse, we can prevent violence before it begins.

Recommitting our churches to the prevention and end of all forms of abuse, let us also honestly reflect on and pray for our churches. May the Holy Spirit make us vanguards of the gospel found the Word of God: that through Christ, God draws near to us, he continually reveals himself to us, and he lives among us in multiple ways.