Changing Things

There’s much personal experience in this blog and a fair number of “I’s”.  Please note that, after the first paragraph below, it was not only “I,” but Jesus at work that made things happen.

It was a long time before I liked people.  Christmas was the one happy time of year while growing up as an introvert, who was nurtured to be a doormat for everyone.  At the time my mantra when meeting people was; “find something wrong with them, then it’s easy not to like them; otherwise, they’ll just wipe their feet on me.”  Happy loving families were a mystery.

After leaving home and finding there were kind people in the world, I grew past the negativity and learned how to be friendly with others and accept folks as they were.  That wasn’t an instant revelation and it eventually took a child to teach me the best, three of them actually.  My kids.  They taught me to love – which was an oddly new concept at the time.  I knew about God’s love, but had only vague human experience.

Wanting my kids to have a better life than what the world offered, I started them in Sunday School very young.  The thing was, they insisted if they had to go, I did too.  This was a good thing, it got me back into church; Sunday School with them to start and things grew from there.  Along the way, Jesus taught me to forgive people for that muddy childhood.  

 God and children can teach us a lot, if we’ll only listen.

While counselling at a Christian children’s camp, there was a young boy who acted up badly, causing much turmoil amongst the campers.  His cries for attention echoed from my youth.  I spent a couple of days spending one-on-one time with him and when he realized that someone cared and actually listened, his behaviour improved.  Unfortunately, the camp director had made up her mind he was too disruptive and decided to send him home.  She didn’t want another opinion, so home he went.  When his dad picked him up, we talked a bit and he listened – hopefully that helped.

At the time my wife and I moved to Newfoundland we’d left my adult son, who has mental health issues and is on social support, in what I thought was a healthy living situation with his friend.  Two years later his friend was in jail and my son was forced to live in a slum apartment in a drug infested neighborhood.  He had many traumatic experiences before I realized what was happening and then drove 4000 kilometers to get him.  I found him living in an apartment with a crusty hole in the kitchen ceiling dripped water from a leaking toilet into a black moldy patch on the floor.  Small bugs scurried about, faded paint and filth-covered windows completed the décor.  My boy came home to live with us.  For more than a year he had horrible flashbacks, which I listened to time after time as he smoked yet another cigarette and often had something alcoholic to help settle down.  Thankfully he’d remembered our talks about drugs from high school and avoided that evil.  Now, after a year and a half, he has his own apartment with a great little dog; has quit smoking, vaping and most drinking.  He enjoys church again, especially Sunday night small groups.

My point is; give people a chance, especially young people.  Sadly, many do not know what love is – they need someone to show them.  A person may be a tad ugly in some way, or disrespectful, or not presently operating the way you think they should, or self-destructive.  Please, talk and listen to them anyway.  Help them figure out what to do instead of telling them.  Loving, positive attention changes things.  Remember Matthew 25:35-40.