People Who See Dead People

The live audience roars as the podcast recording begins...like shoppers discovering their favorite junk food at a Chevron station.  The soundtrack chants expectantly:  Jer-ry!!  Jer-ry!

The host clears his throat: “Hello everyone and welcome to our show today. Our guests today are People Who See Dead People,” he announces, triggering another wave of canned applause. 

“With us today we have Sue Swaydeshoes who will tell us how she saw Elvis Presley while leaving Bed, Bath and Beyond near her home near Cleveland, Ohio.  Let’s have a big welcome for Sue!!” he exclaims, as Sue beams on the screen, pretending not to love the attention.

Jerry continues:  “Today we also have with us Mack Peterbilt, a long-distance trucker.  Mack spends a lot of time in the cab of his rig, and he claims that Jimmy Hoffa often accompanies him on his cross-country deliveries.   So let’s welcome Mack Peterbilt!!” as the audience gives another surge of canned applause.  Mack’s voice can be heard, obviously on a cell phone:  “Glad to be here, Jerry.”

Jerry clears his throat.  “Finally, we also have with us Mercy Gracious who also has a ‘dead friend’ that she apparently talks with.  Her friend is Jesus Christ, and Mercy claims that she has regular contact with the 2000-year-old man from Galilee.  Give a warm welcome to Mercy Gracious!” he exclaims as Mercy pauses nervously before responding.  “What...thank you, Jerry.”

Their host jumps right in.  “Sue, let’s start with you.  You saw Elvis?”

“I sure did…” Sue boasts.  “I was just leaving the store after getting some new dispensers for the bathroom we’d just redone.  Our old accessories didn’t really match the new tile we’d put in.  It just looked horrible!

“Out of the corner of my eye I saw a car in a drive thru and there in the driver’s seat was Elvis Presley himself!!   I just caught a glimpse, but there he was—how would I say...my hunka-hunka burnin’ love!

“Well, I  don’t need to tell that I slammed on the brakes faster than you could say ‘Heartbreak Hotel’.  I just caught a glimpse of his green minivan as he turned the corner, and then he was gone.

“You know, I read all the time that people see him here and there.  I don’t know how people think he’s not alive!”

Jerry interjects:  “Uh...exactly where have you read that?”

“Oh...you know, those papers you see at the checkout at the supermarket.  I’ve always loved a good expose.”

Jerry takes a deep breath, his brow furrowed.  “Okayyyy….  Mack, let’s hear from you.  You tell us that you’ve seen Jimmy Hoffa.   Explain that--I thought he died a long time ago.”

Mack clears his throat.  “I sure do.  I see him all the time, in fact.  I drive truck—the big rigs.  It gets pretty lonely out on the road.  But I tell my honey back home not to worry, cause Jimmy’s riding shotgun for me.   I just call him Jimmy.  He’s got my back, just like he did for all of us back in the day.”

Jerry presses further, apparently curious.  “So what does Jimmy tell you?  Does he say much?”

“Nope.  I think he just sits there, mostly.”

Jerry repeats:  “He just sits there, you’re saying.”

(Pauses).  “...Yup.  That’s what I just said”.

Jerry prepares to move on.  “All right, thanks for sharing that, Mack.”

He prepares to introduce the third guest.   “Mercy Gracious comes to us from Rusty Bucket, Arkansas.   Mercy is a stay-at-home mom with her five children.  

Jerry presses on.  “Mercy, you tell us that you talk to Jesus Christ.  Is that right?”

Mercy takes a deep breath, but wants to do well for the audience.  “Why yes, Jerry.  Ah see Jesus.   Well, ah don’t actually see him, really; it’s more like I jest know he’s there.  Talk to him every night, like ah have ever since I was a girl, and he listens, too!

Jerry voices his skepticism.  “Really?”

“Whah yes...Like there was that one time my boy Jimmy was really sick.  He was feverin’ real bad, all night long, and Ah didn’t know what to do.  Just prayed to Jesus that whole night and by mornin’ his fever had broke and he started getting better.”

“So Mercy, when did you start believing that you could talk to dead people?”

“Well, to be honest, Jerry, Ah’ve only talked to one.  To Jesus, like ah said.  Ah first met him at bible camp when I was eight.  That’s where I learned that Jesus is the King over all the world.”

At that point Sue jumps back in, clearly unaccustomed to letting others speak this long.  “Oh I’m sorry, dear...Elvis is the king.  You need to remember--America was built on rock and roll!!”

Mack chimes in, he’s frustrated now.   “Nah...neither of you girls would even be here if it wasn’t for Hoffa—we’d all be slaving away for some big boss in an office somewhere.  The union is the best thing that ever happened to this country.  The unions what’s made America strong!!”

Jerry jumps in:  “Let me bring us back here.  A lot of people, most people, would say that this all is crazy, someone claiming that they can talk to someone who’s supposed to be dead.”  He pauses for a moment to let his words sink in.  “How do you explain that to other people?”

Sue clears her throat with a sense of importance.  “Ah’ll go first.   I just know that Elvis is with me all the time, every time I listen to his music.  ‘Love me tender…” she begins to croon. 

Mack scoffs:  “Jimmy Hoffa lives on in every labor worker in America!  In every honest man and woman working hard for their wages…”

Mercy sounds anxious.  “Jerry, ah guess I never thought about it like that—like people talking to dead people and all.  At least not until that man invited me to come to the city to be on this here show.”

At this point everything erupts.  Sue turns on Mack, claiming he doesn’t really see Jimmy Hoffa in his truck, he’s just making that part up.  Mack is incensed, accuses her of imagining her experience, as Elvis would never drive a minivan—the man had standards!  Mack announces that he ought to stop in Cleveland and “knock some sense” into her head.

Jerry breaks in, trying to bring some order back to the chaos.  “I’m sorry, we just had to mute all of your microphones.  For the sake of our listeners, I’ll need you to all speak one at a time or no one will hear anything.”  

Finally Mercy speaks up:  “But what if it’s true?—y’all are assuming that I’m all full of road-apples but what if Jesus really did listen to me? Then what would y’all have to say?”  

Her comment is followed by a long moment of dead air.  Finally Jerry clears his throat:  “Sue...Mack...we’ve turned your mics back on.  Feel free to respond to Mercy’s little question, if you will...”

Another pause, longer this time.

Finally Jerry addresses Mercy condescendingly, “Mercy, we all know that there are certain things that just aren’t going to happen…”

Mercy sounds a bit confused.  “Ah don’t understand.  What do you mean ‘ain’t going to happen’?  I thought that was why we wanted to talk about this.  To talk about what could actually happen.  Y’know, like unseen stuff and all.” 

Jerry responds gently:  “Well, Mercy, you go ahead and believe what you want.  Thankfully, we’re out of time before we need to get too far into that.”

Jerry switches back to his announcer voice:  “Well, folks, that’s it for this episode.  Join us next time for more behind-the-scenes glimpses of issues that really matter in today’s world.

“Until then...please don’t step on my blue suede shoes!”  (Jerry chuckles at his own bad joke.)

*   *   *   *   *   *   *

We laugh at people who claim to see the dead.
Unless, of course, it’s Easter.

“And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.”  I Cor. 15:4