A Project for Parents with Prodigal Children

Grounding our Lament in the Sovereignty of God 

Two years ago my wife and I welcomed our first child, a boy. I wanted to name him John Calvin Nirula. For some reason, I still don’t know why, but my wife did not agree with me. 

So, we settled on our next favourite name, Theophilus. A perfect name for a pastor’s kid. It suits him well. Besides, he doesn’t really look like a John Calvin. He hasn’t grown a long silver beard or systematized the Protestant faith— yet. 

A few months ago we welcomed the newest addition to our family. Our daughter, Aliyah. My wife and I pray each night for our kids before we try to get them down for the night at a reasonable time. 

Our prayer often ends in the same way. “God, would you already be working in their lives in such a way that they know and worship you each day of their lives.” 

We trust that God is faithful in hearing our prayers, but we also know that He is sovereign. We know that His plans are higher than ours. We also are well aware that statistically speaking there is a good chance that one of our children might eventually leave the faith. 

As parents, we want to be proactive. We take our kids to church with us each week. We pray with and for our kids, read Scripture together, and try to get to the Catechism before Theo makes a break from the dinner table. We even swapped Cocomelon for VeggieTales. 

I hope, and pray, that we are doing everything we can for our children’s faith formation. Yet, we are aware that our children still may not walk with God for the duration of their life. 

As a parent, this causes me anxiety. I want my kids to follow Christ. As a dad I can empathize with parents who have children who are not walking with the Lord. 

The pain and lament that you must feel knowing the child who was once small enough to fit in your arms, the one who couldn’t even lift their head up or sit up straight on their own, is now old enough to make their own decisions. And there is nothing that you can do about it. 

Or is there?

Recently, I began a project I am calling My Dearest Theophilus. I bought a journaling Bible and each day as I am doing my devotions, I write notes in the margins. I highlight and underline and mark up the page. At the end of each book, I write a note for Theo. 

I write what I feel are the most important truths in that book. I tell him about my experiences, where I have seen God, and common pitfalls to avoid. 

I pray before writing each note and ask God to give me the words to write. I pray for Theo, that as he reads the words of Scripture and the notes I have left for him, he would be drawn to know God more. 

It’s great to tell our kids that we have been praying for them, especially if they are not following the Lord. It is a whole other thing to show them that we are praying for them. 

If you have a prodigal child, perhaps this is a practice that you want to pick up. I have found myself being formed as a Christian and a father through this project. In 10, 15, 20 years when your prodigal child returns home, you will have the evidence that you prayed for them each and every day. 

If you go home before your child returns to the Lord, they will find evidence of your faithfulness and your witness will long outlive you. 

Either way, you will find yourself formed as you read the story of the Soverereign God. One who is the Author and Perfector of salvation. Your child’s waywardness is not a surprise to the Artificer who lovingly knit together the cosmos. 

He is a God who doesn’t lose coins, He doesn’t lose sheep, He certainly won’t lose any of those who belong to Him. 

As you lament the very real pain that a child you love so dearly does not walk with Christ, be comforted by His sovereignty. As you read the story of Scripture, one in which God is constantly rescuing and redeeming those who belong to Him, please remember that there is no child too far gone for God's rescue.