Dear Readers:Abuse always robs. It always ruins, always destroys, and always hurts. Those who have experienced abuse often have difficulties with relationships, manipulation, trust, skewed perceptions and so much more. Abuse always robs. Take the experience of abuse and now put it in the context of the church. Now the damage and the confusion from the abuse multiplies itself tenfold. For not only did the abuse itself do damage, but the very ones we trusted to be safe for us were not. The very place that was to bring us healing and comfort did not. And the very community that was designed to give us fellowship had not. Instead, we’ve been robbed. Now the going to church is not about joy and fellowship, but about anger and turmoil. Now a time of worship is not about comfort and encouragement but a time of feeling hurt and betrayed. Now the seeing of any church leadership turns into emotional implosion. Anxiety, sadness, and sleepless nights dominate. We’ve been robbed. We’ve been robbed of peace – peace with ourselves, with others and with God. Abuse never gives. It always takes. Look again at the task force report. Think through again the devastation and harm done to those who have been abused by our leadership. Then ask yourself what you need to do to strengthen your church in understanding this subject. Be a grassroots worker. Get training, go to workshops, read books. Be a leader in your faith community about the subject of abuse. Work from the bottom up. Then as you do your part, hold top management accountable to do theirs. 1) Expect the BOT to know about this subject. Communicate to them that you expect them to model good leadership when it comes to the subject of abuse. 2) Expect better leadership from the denominational offices. Tell them that you are watching them and you want to see competence and integrity in their work about addressing abuse in our churches. 3) Expect your CIC to take the lead about understanding abuse in your classis. Insist they offer abuse training for pastors and classis delegates when they meet in the spring and fall. Tell them you expect competence if/when abuse allegations come forward in your classis. We must insist on “work from the top down.” The recent task force report is missing one thing: YOU! Get involved and do something about the abuse that is happening in your church. Judy De Wit
Excellent book. Stops the enabling approach - gets at the problem approach and stops the "give" just because we think that is the answer to poverty and problems.
Posted in: Abuse Victims Task Force: Discussion
Dear Readers:Abuse always robs. It always ruins, always destroys, and always hurts. Those who have experienced abuse often have difficulties with relationships, manipulation, trust, skewed perceptions and so much more. Abuse always robs. Take the experience of abuse and now put it in the context of the church. Now the damage and the confusion from the abuse multiplies itself tenfold. For not only did the abuse itself do damage, but the very ones we trusted to be safe for us were not. The very place that was to bring us healing and comfort did not. And the very community that was designed to give us fellowship had not. Instead, we’ve been robbed. Now the going to church is not about joy and fellowship, but about anger and turmoil. Now a time of worship is not about comfort and encouragement but a time of feeling hurt and betrayed. Now the seeing of any church leadership turns into emotional implosion. Anxiety, sadness, and sleepless nights dominate. We’ve been robbed. We’ve been robbed of peace – peace with ourselves, with others and with God. Abuse never gives. It always takes. Look again at the task force report. Think through again the devastation and harm done to those who have been abused by our leadership. Then ask yourself what you need to do to strengthen your church in understanding this subject. Be a grassroots worker. Get training, go to workshops, read books. Be a leader in your faith community about the subject of abuse. Work from the bottom up. Then as you do your part, hold top management accountable to do theirs. 1) Expect the BOT to know about this subject. Communicate to them that you expect them to model good leadership when it comes to the subject of abuse. 2) Expect better leadership from the denominational offices. Tell them that you are watching them and you want to see competence and integrity in their work about addressing abuse in our churches. 3) Expect your CIC to take the lead about understanding abuse in your classis. Insist they offer abuse training for pastors and classis delegates when they meet in the spring and fall. Tell them you expect competence if/when abuse allegations come forward in your classis. We must insist on “work from the top down.” The recent task force report is missing one thing: YOU! Get involved and do something about the abuse that is happening in your church. Judy De Wit
Posted in: Great Resource
Excellent book. Stops the enabling approach - gets at the problem approach and stops the "give" just because we think that is the answer to poverty and problems.
Judy De Wit