Two years ago my family moved 1 1/2 hr away from the community we had lived in for the past 22 years. We had been very involved in our church in leadership and worship for a long time to the point we were looking for a church home we could come to and worship and just "be". Following our move we attended a number of churches in a number of cities including the city we are living in. Some of these were CRC some were not. Some were well established some were church plants.
In our former congregation I was quite aware of new attendees and would make an effort to connect with them after the service. My role as a worship leader helped make the connection even before the service ended. As I attended the different churches I was struck by the sameness when it comes to the lack of hospitality shown to me and my family. Yes there was always the obligatory nod of the head in our direction when we would sit down or even a hand shake if the pastor encouraged that but beyond that there was very little interaction I would call hospitality. What I did notice was a lot of groups gathering after the service for coffee that appeared tight. I could tell they knew each other, they had a connection. There was no one watching out for the new people and making an intentioned effort to make them feel welcome. There was one exception we experienced though the person who made the effort to speak with us was a former member of our former congregation so we had that tie.
What is the answer to the dilemma of a congregation where everyone knows your name but then someone new shows up at the door. As in the TV show Cheers there was the inside group that sat around the bar or had their favourite table but if someone new or different walked into the bar, sat at their table or horrors at their bar stool they were looked on with suspicion, sometimes even run out of the bar. That of course is not the way a real missional church works but there were Sunday mornings when I felt that way, as the outsider interfering on someone else’s turf.
In my opinion this is the paradox as I have experienced it; many congregational members will share each other’s laughter and tears in a strong sense of community but have a great difficultly being ready and willing to let others be part of that community.
I agree the article on the website sited could have done better job speaking to this issue but I also know that at every Synod churches and classis are encouraged to develop a Safe Church team. (and this has been going on for decades)
The agenda of the 2013 Synod reports that currently only 24 out of 47 classes have a Safe Church team. The CRC has a long way to go before we can pat ourselves on our backs and say we are doing all we can to ensure all our churches are safe places for everyone.
Excellent question Wendy and one that I believe is not asked enough when churches or our church members get excited about a mission or ministry and want to support that organization. I personally know people that supported a mission for years before they began to realize the paternalistic tendencies this mission had and ended their support.
Why is it some people are so quick to give to an organization without understanding how the organization works and what they do, or don’t do. I think perhaps that our mission agencies have done a poor job of explaining what good development looks like? Or perhaps poor development and poor missions has been going on for so long people just assume this is the way it should happen.
I think the bigger concern is when CRC congregations go off on their own and start their own international ministries with little to no knowledge of what they are getting themselves into. I have seen stories in our denominational publication of churches that have gone to countries around the world to build schools or churches or houses for pastors or children’s homes. While they may have perfectly good intentions generally they do not follow good development practices and are probably creating more harm than good. I know some of these CRC congregation supported missions are in countries where WR or CRWM have had a presence for years and yet they are not consulted about the project.
I am glad to hear you do receive inquires from people and churches about different organizations. As churches start to look beyond their neighbourhoods and extend their mission focus globally it will be good for them to understand these characteristics and ask these types of questions will be important for them to ask before they act. I think it is also important for our denomination to have a clear sense of what good development and mission work is. If CRC congregation supported missions with little to no thought about good development practices are highlighted in the Banner, somewhere there is a disconnect.
Thanks Henrietta for a very well written and though provoking posting. Hopefully many people will check-out the organizations they are supporting with child sponsership type programs and see exactly how the program works and how the funds are used. Many do not and it is not all good. I would say that at almost ever christian concert I have gone to the band promotes or there is a booth for some child sponsership program. The organization is hoping to use the event to "sell" sponserships and it works.
However the program works it is still wrong in my opinion to use children to sell any sponsership program or solicite funds for any type of aid work. Thankfully the CRC agencies have seen the light. Unfortunately many others have not.
Wow Henrietta you were correct, there was some strong language there. Good stuff though.
"If we cut off agencies using quasi-pornographic pictures of doe-eyed kids to raise money, we’d force them to wean off this exploitative fund raising, and focus on the real development work they claim they’d rather be doing."
Sometime this past year the corporation I work for gave $50,000 to Save the Children Canada for the work they were doing in Pakistan. The announcement that was on our company intranet site regarding this giving was accompanied by the picture of two young children, presumably a young Pakistani girl and her brother, looking dirty and sad. I was shocked that this picture was used along with this announcement and sent a message to the corporate department that posted this voicing my concerns. What bothered me was that these children, in their vunerability, were being used to try to make me feel good that I work for a company that did something good and helped these poor poor children.
This goes back to the question Henrietta alluded to in the original post. If you and your family were in a very vulnerable place due to circumstances beyond your control would you want your child photographed in this condition and used to illicit guilt in others so they would give money to help you?
Personally I would rather see pictures that document the stories of changed lives that are taking place in the places my funds are being used by the organisations I am supporting. This allows me to be a witness to the great work being done to restore people’s lives.
You are correct when you say that I am not the one suffering. I have never felt the pains of hunger for days on end, neither have most of my children. I don't know what it is like to have to worry if I will be able to feed my children or myself or if someone will come and help me out of my misery. I don't have to try to give my children away to the nice white people coming through the village hoping that they will have a better life nor do I have to think about selling my daughters into prostitution to feed the rest of the family. I also don't have to have my child's picture taken to be put on the fridge of someone in North America because they are sponsering my children to go to school because I cannot aford it. For all of this I thank God. But just because I have not experainced what those suffering have does not mean that I cannot advocate for them.
Are these actions cultural or are these actions the end result of a desperate sitiuation? I don't think that this is a cultural thing, and if it has become a cultural thing we (the white people with the power) have imposed that on another culture by our action or inaction.
The other thing I am sure of is that the ways some of those who are suffering in the world are being exploited to raise money for their care is not the way God intended life to be for them. He loves them and cares for them and wants to see their lives restored so they can be what he has made them to be. God also wants us to treat all people with dignity and respect because like us they are broken people who need Jesus and his love to sanctify us and restore us to new life.
Ken: You hit the proverbial nail on the head with this statement "I'm struck how nobody asks what you think as the victim". That is exactly what concerns me. Have those in poverty been asked if it is alright for their children to hang on someone’s fridge as the poster child for poverty? And if they have been asked do they understand the implications to their own dignity and that of their child’s in doing this? I had that conversation with someone the other day. Does the concept of child sponsorship and how the global north looks upon these sponsored children register with the families who have sponsored children. The differences between our cultures are so different and what we might think is a good fix to what we perceive is their problem is not what is best or might not even be a problem as they see it.
Asking the victim what they think a very good place to start. Thanks Ken for putting that out there.
This stuff resonates with me. It took a while for me to realize it but I believe developing strong leaders it one of the tasks many churches have failed at and I am as much to blame. When I was in a leadership role I thought very little about developing the next leader. When I stepped back it struck me what I really should have been doing was just that. What I have learned since then is that mentoring the next person who will take on your leadership role is one of the characteristics of a good leader.
If you live in an area where there is an active Leadership Development Network get your potential leaders involved in it. LDNs are great places to develop leaders who in turn can teach others.
Rob: I like "what you came up with" We struggled with this for a while and worked things out similiar to what you have. I have to agree that the worship leader needs to be just that a leader. A leader in the church (could be a leader with or as a youth) but they need to be accountable to others. Those who are new to the church will probably not understand this concept.
I do understand it can be difficult in some churches where the talent pool is shallow to suggest new comers attend for awhile and then maybe they can join the worship team if they have a real talent and are willing to play. Larry
Sorry Al, not sure why I called you Rob, maybe I was thinking of your brother. I get called by my brothers name all the time so I know how that feels.
I agree defining a worship philosophy / position is important so everyone, the congragants, those on the team and those thinking of joining the team knows what IT is all about. Care must be taken doing this as it can cause tension with all involved. I suppose that goes without saying but it was amazing to me the diversity of opinions within the worship team when we began talking about this.
I have to agree with Lorraine's post and pdr just confirmed her thesis. Those who like to lash out at the church, BOT or any thing else they do not agree with do so from their anonymity. The things I have read on this forum along with comments attached to articles in the newsroom make me shake my head. I'm all for good discussion but if you are not willing to sign your name to your comments don't comment
Posted in: Hospitality in the Missional Church
Two years ago my family moved 1 1/2 hr away from the community we had lived in for the past 22 years. We had been very involved in our church in leadership and worship for a long time to the point we were looking for a church home we could come to and worship and just "be". Following our move we attended a number of churches in a number of cities including the city we are living in. Some of these were CRC some were not. Some were well established some were church plants.
In our former congregation I was quite aware of new attendees and would make an effort to connect with them after the service. My role as a worship leader helped make the connection even before the service ended. As I attended the different churches I was struck by the sameness when it comes to the lack of hospitality shown to me and my family. Yes there was always the obligatory nod of the head in our direction when we would sit down or even a hand shake if the pastor encouraged that but beyond that there was very little interaction I would call hospitality. What I did notice was a lot of groups gathering after the service for coffee that appeared tight. I could tell they knew each other, they had a connection. There was no one watching out for the new people and making an intentioned effort to make them feel welcome. There was one exception we experienced though the person who made the effort to speak with us was a former member of our former congregation so we had that tie.
What is the answer to the dilemma of a congregation where everyone knows your name but then someone new shows up at the door. As in the TV show Cheers there was the inside group that sat around the bar or had their favourite table but if someone new or different walked into the bar, sat at their table or horrors at their bar stool they were looked on with suspicion, sometimes even run out of the bar. That of course is not the way a real missional church works but there were Sunday mornings when I felt that way, as the outsider interfering on someone else’s turf.
In my opinion this is the paradox as I have experienced it; many congregational members will share each other’s laughter and tears in a strong sense of community but have a great difficultly being ready and willing to let others be part of that community.
Posted in: The CRCNA Makes the List
I agree the article on the website sited could have done better job speaking to this issue but I also know that at every Synod churches and classis are encouraged to develop a Safe Church team. (and this has been going on for decades)
The agenda of the 2013 Synod reports that currently only 24 out of 47 classes have a Safe Church team. The CRC has a long way to go before we can pat ourselves on our backs and say we are doing all we can to ensure all our churches are safe places for everyone.
Posted in: Are the Missions Organizations You Support Excellent?
Excellent question Wendy and one that I believe is not asked enough when churches or our church members get excited about a mission or ministry and want to support that organization. I personally know people that supported a mission for years before they began to realize the paternalistic tendencies this mission had and ended their support.
Why is it some people are so quick to give to an organization without understanding how the organization works and what they do, or don’t do. I think perhaps that our mission agencies have done a poor job of explaining what good development looks like? Or perhaps poor development and poor missions has been going on for so long people just assume this is the way it should happen.
I think the bigger concern is when CRC congregations go off on their own and start their own international ministries with little to no knowledge of what they are getting themselves into. I have seen stories in our denominational publication of churches that have gone to countries around the world to build schools or churches or houses for pastors or children’s homes. While they may have perfectly good intentions generally they do not follow good development practices and are probably creating more harm than good. I know some of these CRC congregation supported missions are in countries where WR or CRWM have had a presence for years and yet they are not consulted about the project.
I am glad to hear you do receive inquires from people and churches about different organizations. As churches start to look beyond their neighbourhoods and extend their mission focus globally it will be good for them to understand these characteristics and ask these types of questions will be important for them to ask before they act. I think it is also important for our denomination to have a clear sense of what good development and mission work is. If CRC congregation supported missions with little to no thought about good development practices are highlighted in the Banner, somewhere there is a disconnect.
Posted in: Child Sponsorship: Looking Behind the Picture on the Fridge
Thanks Henrietta for a very well written and though provoking posting. Hopefully many people will check-out the organizations they are supporting with child sponsership type programs and see exactly how the program works and how the funds are used. Many do not and it is not all good. I would say that at almost ever christian concert I have gone to the band promotes or there is a booth for some child sponsership program. The organization is hoping to use the event to "sell" sponserships and it works.
However the program works it is still wrong in my opinion to use children to sell any sponsership program or solicite funds for any type of aid work. Thankfully the CRC agencies have seen the light. Unfortunately many others have not.
Posted in: Child Sponsorship: Looking Behind the Picture on the Fridge
Wow Henrietta you were correct, there was some strong language there. Good stuff though.
"If we cut off agencies using quasi-pornographic pictures of doe-eyed kids to raise money, we’d force them to wean off this exploitative fund raising, and focus on the real development work they claim they’d rather be doing."
Larry
Posted in: Child Sponsorship: Looking Behind the Picture on the Fridge
Sometime this past year the corporation I work for gave $50,000 to Save the Children Canada for the work they were doing in Pakistan. The announcement that was on our company intranet site regarding this giving was accompanied by the picture of two young children, presumably a young Pakistani girl and her brother, looking dirty and sad. I was shocked that this picture was used along with this announcement and sent a message to the corporate department that posted this voicing my concerns. What bothered me was that these children, in their vunerability, were being used to try to make me feel good that I work for a company that did something good and helped these poor poor children.
This goes back to the question Henrietta alluded to in the original post. If you and your family were in a very vulnerable place due to circumstances beyond your control would you want your child photographed in this condition and used to illicit guilt in others so they would give money to help you?
Personally I would rather see pictures that document the stories of changed lives that are taking place in the places my funds are being used by the organisations I am supporting. This allows me to be a witness to the great work being done to restore people’s lives.
Posted in: Child Sponsorship: Looking Behind the Picture on the Fridge
Ken
You are correct when you say that I am not the one suffering. I have never felt the pains of hunger for days on end, neither have most of my children. I don't know what it is like to have to worry if I will be able to feed my children or myself or if someone will come and help me out of my misery. I don't have to try to give my children away to the nice white people coming through the village hoping that they will have a better life nor do I have to think about selling my daughters into prostitution to feed the rest of the family. I also don't have to have my child's picture taken to be put on the fridge of someone in North America because they are sponsering my children to go to school because I cannot aford it. For all of this I thank God. But just because I have not experainced what those suffering have does not mean that I cannot advocate for them.
Are these actions cultural or are these actions the end result of a desperate sitiuation? I don't think that this is a cultural thing, and if it has become a cultural thing we (the white people with the power) have imposed that on another culture by our action or inaction.
The other thing I am sure of is that the ways some of those who are suffering in the world are being exploited to raise money for their care is not the way God intended life to be for them. He loves them and cares for them and wants to see their lives restored so they can be what he has made them to be. God also wants us to treat all people with dignity and respect because like us they are broken people who need Jesus and his love to sanctify us and restore us to new life.
Posted in: Child Sponsorship: Looking Behind the Picture on the Fridge
Ken: You hit the proverbial nail on the head with this statement "I'm struck how nobody asks what you think as the victim". That is exactly what concerns me. Have those in poverty been asked if it is alright for their children to hang on someone’s fridge as the poster child for poverty? And if they have been asked do they understand the implications to their own dignity and that of their child’s in doing this? I had that conversation with someone the other day. Does the concept of child sponsorship and how the global north looks upon these sponsored children register with the families who have sponsored children. The differences between our cultures are so different and what we might think is a good fix to what we perceive is their problem is not what is best or might not even be a problem as they see it.
Asking the victim what they think a very good place to start. Thanks Ken for putting that out there.
Larry
Posted in: Developing Leaders
Al
This stuff resonates with me. It took a while for me to realize it but I believe developing strong leaders it one of the tasks many churches have failed at and I am as much to blame. When I was in a leadership role I thought very little about developing the next leader. When I stepped back it struck me what I really should have been doing was just that. What I have learned since then is that mentoring the next person who will take on your leadership role is one of the characteristics of a good leader.
If you live in an area where there is an active Leadership Development Network get your potential leaders involved in it. LDNs are great places to develop leaders who in turn can teach others.
Larry
Posted in: Who May Lead Worship?
Rob: I like "what you came up with" We struggled with this for a while and worked things out similiar to what you have. I have to agree that the worship leader needs to be just that a leader. A leader in the church (could be a leader with or as a youth) but they need to be accountable to others. Those who are new to the church will probably not understand this concept.
I do understand it can be difficult in some churches where the talent pool is shallow to suggest new comers attend for awhile and then maybe they can join the worship team if they have a real talent and are willing to play. Larry
Posted in: Who May Lead Worship?
Sorry Al, not sure why I called you Rob, maybe I was thinking of your brother. I get called by my brothers name all the time so I know how that feels.
I agree defining a worship philosophy / position is important so everyone, the congragants, those on the team and those thinking of joining the team knows what IT is all about. Care must be taken doing this as it can cause tension with all involved. I suppose that goes without saying but it was amazing to me the diversity of opinions within the worship team when we began talking about this.
Posted in: Our Attitudes Toward Our Leaders
I have to agree with Lorraine's post and pdr just confirmed her thesis. Those who like to lash out at the church, BOT or any thing else they do not agree with do so from their anonymity. The things I have read on this forum along with comments attached to articles in the newsroom make me shake my head. I'm all for good discussion but if you are not willing to sign your name to your comments don't comment
Larry Luth