The number one thing that I would suggest regarding healthiness of churches, ESPECIALLY in Korean churches is open communication. In Korean culture, as with many other Asian cultures, there are many cultural beliefs, ideas, and ways of thinking that are simply assumed, taken for granted, but not openly and clearly communicated. There is also the idea of public shame, where certain embarassing things are not to be revealed in public, lest those people be judged. Often times, in an Asian-American church, the shamed person leaves the church never to return.
These two issues are key in developing a healthy Korean church in North America. Expectations and other thoughts need to be clearly communicated to everyone in the congregation. Also, the church needs to foster an atmosphere of forgiveness and grace, where people are not afraid to be honest with their failures and shortcomings. These are important in every church, of course, but even more important in Asian-American churches where everyone tends to conform to long-held, traditional beliefs that are often uncommunicated.
I believe that the goal of all EMs should be to become independent, EXCEPT in the rare case where the KM is willing to accept the EM as equal partners in ministry, with the same status and respect given to their own ministries and leadership.
I agree with you that the KM is the key to the success of an EM. Like any parent with a child, the parent (KM) needs to care for and nuture the child (EM), but also needs to help the child grow up, let go, and become independent. There comes a point where the parent must see the child as an independent adult with its own life, mission, and goals. To not let them develop this way is like having a 30 year old child still living with their parents at home, without a job.
Although many EM members consider themselves to be more "American" than Korean, I still believe that the way they were raised, often in the Korean church and culture still affects their thinking and attitudes. For example, Koreans are taught to respect their elders, bow to them whenever they are seen, and to submit to them. This can be a positive thing, yet in terms of being independent, adult, leaders in a church, this attitude can often hinder EM members. Because they are constantly submitting to, and being made to submit to the "elder" KM members, they often don't see themselves as adults or leaders, but rather as children.
In addition, EM members who have grown up in the Korean church their whole lives have often had many negative experiences from Korean churches (fighting between pastor/elders, etc.). So, while, EM members submit to, and often respect the KM outwardly, many are still skeptical and pessimistic about the KM and their leadership. They have not seen enough good examples of Gospel-filled leadership to become leaders themselves.
Therefore, starting from the top, with the EM pastor, there needs to be a sense of united leadership, not just among the EM, but with the KM as well. The EM pastor needs to be truly equal with the KM. Since the EM pastor cannot be seen as defiant or pushy in front of the KM, it is the KM pastor's and elders job to defend and support the EM pastor. The EM Pastor, in turn needs a long-term plan to develop EM elders. I've seen too many EMs that do not have adequate elder leadership and are certainly unfit to be independent. In this context, the EM needs to grow into its own, with guidance from the KM. Honest and open communication is key. Clear goals should be set.
Posted in: Suggestions for Cultivating Healthy Church and Pastor?
The number one thing that I would suggest regarding healthiness of churches, ESPECIALLY in Korean churches is open communication. In Korean culture, as with many other Asian cultures, there are many cultural beliefs, ideas, and ways of thinking that are simply assumed, taken for granted, but not openly and clearly communicated. There is also the idea of public shame, where certain embarassing things are not to be revealed in public, lest those people be judged. Often times, in an Asian-American church, the shamed person leaves the church never to return.
These two issues are key in developing a healthy Korean church in North America. Expectations and other thoughts need to be clearly communicated to everyone in the congregation. Also, the church needs to foster an atmosphere of forgiveness and grace, where people are not afraid to be honest with their failures and shortcomings. These are important in every church, of course, but even more important in Asian-American churches where everyone tends to conform to long-held, traditional beliefs that are often uncommunicated.
Posted in: EM은 동립이 되어야 하는가? Should Em Be Independent?
I believe that the goal of all EMs should be to become independent, EXCEPT in the rare case where the KM is willing to accept the EM as equal partners in ministry, with the same status and respect given to their own ministries and leadership.
I agree with you that the KM is the key to the success of an EM. Like any parent with a child, the parent (KM) needs to care for and nuture the child (EM), but also needs to help the child grow up, let go, and become independent. There comes a point where the parent must see the child as an independent adult with its own life, mission, and goals. To not let them develop this way is like having a 30 year old child still living with their parents at home, without a job.
Although many EM members consider themselves to be more "American" than Korean, I still believe that the way they were raised, often in the Korean church and culture still affects their thinking and attitudes. For example, Koreans are taught to respect their elders, bow to them whenever they are seen, and to submit to them. This can be a positive thing, yet in terms of being independent, adult, leaders in a church, this attitude can often hinder EM members. Because they are constantly submitting to, and being made to submit to the "elder" KM members, they often don't see themselves as adults or leaders, but rather as children.
In addition, EM members who have grown up in the Korean church their whole lives have often had many negative experiences from Korean churches (fighting between pastor/elders, etc.). So, while, EM members submit to, and often respect the KM outwardly, many are still skeptical and pessimistic about the KM and their leadership. They have not seen enough good examples of Gospel-filled leadership to become leaders themselves.
Therefore, starting from the top, with the EM pastor, there needs to be a sense of united leadership, not just among the EM, but with the KM as well. The EM pastor needs to be truly equal with the KM. Since the EM pastor cannot be seen as defiant or pushy in front of the KM, it is the KM pastor's and elders job to defend and support the EM pastor. The EM Pastor, in turn needs a long-term plan to develop EM elders. I've seen too many EMs that do not have adequate elder leadership and are certainly unfit to be independent. In this context, the EM needs to grow into its own, with guidance from the KM. Honest and open communication is key. Clear goals should be set.