Willie & Anje Botha, parents to daughters Magdel(11 years) and Ingrid (6 years). Ingrid was born with rare chromosome translocation, complete agenesis of corpus callosum & refractory, intractable West syndrome. Lives in Pretoria, South Africa. 1 Corinthians 4:1 "Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God."
It is no easy task to hold your disabled ill child, wondering what the next right thing is to do, how to alleviate her pain and discomfort – the plea to God ever present to see this child struggling to make sense out of what is happening, and to please, please do something. The medical people rush in and out with vials and tubes, phoning doctors, talking in medical terminology. And all you can do is pray.
The LORD’s omnipotence is without question – Revelation 22:13: “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.” His omnipotence existed even before creation – John 17:5: “And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.”
Jesus, the Son, became human so that He “… might taste death for everyone” (Hebrews 2:9) – He fulfilled the promise made after the fall of man: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the Father, full of grace and truth” (John1:14). And He was obedient to the Father unto death.
In His omnipotence He did not have to do it – He does not have anything to learn. He did it out of love for mankind – Isaiah 53:5: “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.” (John 3:16 as well).
Does the LORD see the suffering of the weak and the disabled? Hebrews 4:15 says “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin”. Zephaniah 3:19 says “Behold, at that time I will deal with all who afflict you; I will save the lame, and gather those who were driven out; I will appoint them for praise and fame in every land where they were put to shame” (emphasis mine).
And this gives comfort to a parent with a disabled child – to know that the LORD does not value human life in financial terms and measurable achievements as the world does, but as His plan for redemption of mankind falls in place, you child will be there – with Him!
Someone asked me a while ago that if I had known the outcome, whether I still would have chosen knowing Ingrid.
In parenting a disabled child, I realized that joy and sorrow co-exist on the same spectrum. And I think that this is not limited to parenting only, but that in many trials in life joy and sorrow is to be found simultaneously.
Ecclesiastes 7:3 says “Sorrow is better that laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better”.
I found joy in the privilege of knowing that I was part of God’s plan for Ingrid’s life and that I was able to fulfill my part and take care of Ingrid – although with limited resources on earth (and there some sadness creeps in). I found joy in seemingly small things – such as a smile, a contented sigh, the joy of taking a soothing bath. I found joy in the realization that the LORD provided financially, physically and spiritually – every step of the way. And joy in the faith that ultimately everything is in God’s hands (and that I am not able to understand everything fully) – again Ecclesiastes 11:5 “… you do not know the works of God who makes everything”.
I experienced sorrow in watching this terrible syndrome, first described by Dr. West in 1841, steal my daughter away bit by bit every day. And then - that indescribable moment when I knew that my daughter is gone from this life.
The ultimate joy is in the knowledge that we will meet again in heaven – Revelation 21:14 “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away”.
My answer to the question whether I would have chosen knowing Ingrid (with some presumption) – Yes, a million times, yes!
This week I had to endure another conversation that started with ‘I feel sorry for what happened to you, I cannot imagine what it must have been like, but …’
I listened, tried to explain some – and in the end came away with pity.
You see, I do not take care of my children to conform to the world’s view of what is right and wrong – even if it is coated with some religiosity. I did it because the LORD asked me to. And in that lies my strength.
Me and my family lived dedication, commitment and devotion every day – something the world would be better off knowing as well. I learnt the meaning of true selfless service to my child, I discovered that tenacity and patience co-exist and I loved unconditionally - without expecting any of the so-called conventional rewards. Ask any parent / caregiver of a disabled child – we can write books on self-less giving.
And that does not need any justification.
Matt 18:5 ‘Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.’
As the father of a disabled daughter, I would like to share my family’s experiences and coping strategies in a world that measures human value in financial and economic terms.
As followers of the LORD and not of the world, we have to focus our minds on what is acceptable to Him and seek His will – Rom. 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
When I look back at the six and a half years of Ingrid’s life on earth, I can truly say that it was worth it to walk the road of total care and absolute devotion to my daughter. During this time, we lost friends and family – who could or would not understand the world of the severely disabled. As a family, we could only seek the will of the LORD and pray for strength and perseverance – Col. 3:23 “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.”
I do not think a parent would willingly ask for his child to be born disabled – when this happen, you put away dreams and preconceived ideas of life and discover new wisdoms and strengths in life. 1 Peter 1:6-6 “In this you greatly rejoice, though for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perished, though it I tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
I can testify that the LORD sustained us and provided for us – every step. A personal relationship with Him should take preference over everything. On this journey you sometimes have to make decisions where you cannot see a clear right or wrong (as we so much want to with our own lives as well as other’s lives). But when you stand back after a while, you see that it was the LORD’s decision and that you were a mere instrument in His hands. And this truly sets you free.
On a second level, you have a relationship with your spouse and then your children. After this come friends, community, fellow-believers. 1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him.”
My family and I have entered a new stage in our journey – previously we were a family of whom one was severely disabled. Now we are a family of who a severely disabled daughter has passed away. And we shall still seek the will of the LORD – Heb. 12:28 “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.”
At the end of this journey, wherever it may take us, I want say as Paul “I have fought the good battle, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Tim. 4:7.
Mark 14:36 ‘And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but You will.” ‘
In praying, our faith and the content of what we ask, usually features strongly. But we often overlook a crucial element – the LORD’s will.
Jesus’ prayer and subsequent arrest in the garden of Gethsemane are well-known in the gospels. From what I understand, He was troubled and deeply distressed. His soul was sorrowful and His sweat became like great drops of blood. I also believe that Jesus, the Son, was the perfect example of faith and wholly lacked in sin. He was in perfect communication with His Father and pleaded earnestly with Him in Gethsemane. And He acknowledged the will of His Father.
Form a mere human point of view, judged on faith and pleading alone and ignoring the LORD’s will, Jesus’ prayer failed. In doing this, we become completely selfish and severely limit our viewpoint and ultimate destination in life.
CS Lewis, in the movie, Shadowlands, based on his life, says: ‘I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.’
I can’t remember reading it in one of his books, but I think it is something to hold on to. Have faith in the Almighty LORD, plead our case before Him, tell Him how much it hurts and never let go of the peace His perfect will gives.
To Melissa & family: my thoughts and prayers are with you in this time. Thank you for reaching out to me and my family a year ago - it gave much needed comfort and peace.
Altough now I only know in part and see dimly in a mirror, one day it will be face to face with full knowledge and understanding. Part of what I hold onto, is knowing that on Friday, 2 March 2012, when my daughter died in my arms, the LORD was right in the same place where He was when His Son died on a wooden cross. Waiting to take Ingrid in His arms and never let go.
Thank you, As Sara said in a previous post - we learn to live with grief, and it shapes us.
One of my favourite Afrikaans poets (SJ Pretorius) wrote:
Werktuigkundige
Die lewe gaan sy kringloop op die swart
bank van die ewigheid, God druk die hart
versigtig daarop vas en slyp dit met
die donker, skerp klein helsteen van die smart.
Loosely translated:
Mechanician
Life goes on its cycle on the black
bench of eternity, God gently squeezes the heart
onto it and whets it with
the dark, sharp small hellstone of grief.
We gave most of Ingrid's medical equipment & special feeds to a family who also has a little girl with West Syndrome. I still have a chest of drawers with Ingrid's clothes in it in our bedroom. I tried to unpack - but could not finish, Way too many tears and memories.
Shortly after Ingrid’s diagnosis, my wife showed me an analogy which describes parenting a disabled child – Welcome to Holland. I’m sure many parents of disabled children know this piece well: planning a family is like planning a glorious trip to Italy. But instead of landing in Italy you end up in Holland, having to change your plans for your much anticipated trip entirely. At the time my wife said that we ended up in Siberia in a blizzard. I told her that although we sometimes have to struggle daily to survive in our Siberia, there are also breath-taking landscapes, countless snowflakes - each uniquely formed by the LORD and that there was also no escape from His will and the path He asked us to walk. This truly taught us to rely on Him and Him alone.
Although at times we were unwillingly confronted by the world’s interpretation of the severely disabled (the inevitable question of what we must have sinned – and yes, this was said in our faces), the promises of the LORD never wavered – 1 Peter 1:7 “… the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,”. Jesus challenged the world’s prejudices when He said in Luke 13:4-5 “… those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will likewise perish.” Each one of us must repent of our own sins and then walk in Jesus’ footsteps.
To me, Ingrid was as a precious pearl – Matthew 13:45-46 “… the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” A grain of sand forms a pearl in an oyster over a long period of time – what starts as painful process, produces a beautiful, precious pearl. And it was a privilege to be part of the process.
With Ingrid’s birth, my wife and I joined a “secret” family – the world of families with disabled children. Although we only know a few in this family, we understand each other’s hopes, struggles and journeys. And when Ingrid’s task on earth was fulfilled and she went to heaven on her appointed time, we still remained part of this family. Because this journey changes you forever and you learn the true meaning of the words “Life is short”.
Jim Croce’s song – Time in a Bottle, describes the preciousness of the time we have with our families (even if one of them does not measure up to the world’s standards). I would like to share the words of the song:
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
To close – David’s tribute to the glory of the LORD in Psalm 8:1-2 “O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name in all the earth, who have set Your glory above the heavens! Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger.”
I read your family's blog regularly - your journey are a part of my family, so many experiences resonates with us. We pray for you and your family.
As Willie said - we are still part of the world of parenting disabled children. It is just over a year, but many times I still wake up at night at the times when Ingrid had to be turned or cared for. You can only take sedatives for so long - so now I bake or sew or write at night and end up giving away what we can't use. And unconsciously I watch children that would have been Ingrid's age - another mom who also lost a child told me she does the same. A small voice still wonders "What if ...."
Part of this journey will always be 2 Cor.12:9-10 "... My strength is made perfect in weakness ... For when I am weak, then I am strong." The encouragement and wisdom that comes from our journey, is from the LORD alone. There are still times when I feel I cannot take another step, and still, He is there and I can get up and go on, because He asks me to.
Ingrid Botha; born: 20 September 2005, 16h15; passed away: 2 March 2012, 12h50
Like Abraham, we walked our road to Moria with Ingrid, in obedience to the LORD. When we reached our Moria, it was not necessary to build an altar - Jesus was waiting for Ingrid, because He had already made the ultimate sacrifice. We put Ingrid back into His waiting, loving arms.
And the angels rejoiced - because Ingrid was home at last.
In Zechariah 8 the prophet tells us of the New Jerusalem - in verse 5 he says: 'The streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets '. And when I see my little girl again, free from convulsions, disabilities and illness, I shall run to her and my first words will be 'Do you remember me - I called you Ingrid!'
A short article in Creation Magazine, 35(4)2013 (from Creation Ministries International), caught my interest. A UK politician compared disabled children to deformed lambs with five legs or two heads that need to be put down.
One is reminded of Hitler’s rants against humans he called “useless eaters”. Examples in history of attempts to create a society that is disability free are numerous – in Sparta a father had the legal right to terminate a weak child; in Rome the handicapped were raised in the dark.
Christianity introduced the idea that children like these were close to God (Luke 9:48 “…For he who is least among you all will be great.”)
But, somehow the desire to conquer sickness and imperfection is deeply embedded in human nature. When confronted with that which does not fit into our pictures and plans, we become uneasy. And try to make our own plans.
In Isaiah 45, God’s plan for the salvation of Israel and the world, is revealed. Verse 9-10 (from the Jewish Study Bible), reads: “Shame on him who argues with his Maker, though naught but a potsherd of earth! Shall the clay say to the potter, “What are you doing? Your work has no handles”? Shame on him who asks his father, “What are you begetting?” Or a woman, “What are you bearing?””
What seems of no importance and little value to the world, is a precious pearl of great price to the LORD.
Posted in: Jesus' Disability That Came With His Incarnation
It is no easy task to hold your disabled ill child, wondering what the next right thing is to do, how to alleviate her pain and discomfort – the plea to God ever present to see this child struggling to make sense out of what is happening, and to please, please do something. The medical people rush in and out with vials and tubes, phoning doctors, talking in medical terminology. And all you can do is pray.
The LORD’s omnipotence is without question – Revelation 22:13: “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.” His omnipotence existed even before creation – John 17:5: “And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.”
Jesus, the Son, became human so that He “… might taste death for everyone” (Hebrews 2:9) – He fulfilled the promise made after the fall of man: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the Father, full of grace and truth” (John1:14). And He was obedient to the Father unto death.
In His omnipotence He did not have to do it – He does not have anything to learn. He did it out of love for mankind – Isaiah 53:5: “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.” (John 3:16 as well).
Does the LORD see the suffering of the weak and the disabled? Hebrews 4:15 says “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin”. Zephaniah 3:19 says “Behold, at that time I will deal with all who afflict you; I will save the lame, and gather those who were driven out; I will appoint them for praise and fame in every land where they were put to shame” (emphasis mine).
And this gives comfort to a parent with a disabled child – to know that the LORD does not value human life in financial terms and measurable achievements as the world does, but as His plan for redemption of mankind falls in place, you child will be there – with Him!
Soli Deo Gloria!
Willi & Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
JOY AND SORROW
Someone asked me a while ago that if I had known the outcome, whether I still would have chosen knowing Ingrid.
In parenting a disabled child, I realized that joy and sorrow co-exist on the same spectrum. And I think that this is not limited to parenting only, but that in many trials in life joy and sorrow is to be found simultaneously.
Ecclesiastes 7:3 says “Sorrow is better that laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better”.
I found joy in the privilege of knowing that I was part of God’s plan for Ingrid’s life and that I was able to fulfill my part and take care of Ingrid – although with limited resources on earth (and there some sadness creeps in). I found joy in seemingly small things – such as a smile, a contented sigh, the joy of taking a soothing bath. I found joy in the realization that the LORD provided financially, physically and spiritually – every step of the way. And joy in the faith that ultimately everything is in God’s hands (and that I am not able to understand everything fully) – again Ecclesiastes 11:5 “… you do not know the works of God who makes everything”.
I experienced sorrow in watching this terrible syndrome, first described by Dr. West in 1841, steal my daughter away bit by bit every day. And then - that indescribable moment when I knew that my daughter is gone from this life.
The ultimate joy is in the knowledge that we will meet again in heaven – Revelation 21:14 “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away”.
My answer to the question whether I would have chosen knowing Ingrid (with some presumption) – Yes, a million times, yes!
God bless, Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
This week I had to endure another conversation that started with ‘I feel sorry for what happened to you, I cannot imagine what it must have been like, but …’
I listened, tried to explain some – and in the end came away with pity.
You see, I do not take care of my children to conform to the world’s view of what is right and wrong – even if it is coated with some religiosity. I did it because the LORD asked me to. And in that lies my strength.
Me and my family lived dedication, commitment and devotion every day – something the world would be better off knowing as well. I learnt the meaning of true selfless service to my child, I discovered that tenacity and patience co-exist and I loved unconditionally - without expecting any of the so-called conventional rewards. Ask any parent / caregiver of a disabled child – we can write books on self-less giving.
And that does not need any justification.
Matt 18:5 ‘Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.’
God bless, Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
As the father of a disabled daughter, I would like to share my family’s experiences and coping strategies in a world that measures human value in financial and economic terms.
As followers of the LORD and not of the world, we have to focus our minds on what is acceptable to Him and seek His will – Rom. 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
When I look back at the six and a half years of Ingrid’s life on earth, I can truly say that it was worth it to walk the road of total care and absolute devotion to my daughter. During this time, we lost friends and family – who could or would not understand the world of the severely disabled. As a family, we could only seek the will of the LORD and pray for strength and perseverance – Col. 3:23 “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.”
I do not think a parent would willingly ask for his child to be born disabled – when this happen, you put away dreams and preconceived ideas of life and discover new wisdoms and strengths in life. 1 Peter 1:6-6 “In this you greatly rejoice, though for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perished, though it I tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
I can testify that the LORD sustained us and provided for us – every step. A personal relationship with Him should take preference over everything. On this journey you sometimes have to make decisions where you cannot see a clear right or wrong (as we so much want to with our own lives as well as other’s lives). But when you stand back after a while, you see that it was the LORD’s decision and that you were a mere instrument in His hands. And this truly sets you free.
On a second level, you have a relationship with your spouse and then your children. After this come friends, community, fellow-believers. 1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the father is not in him.”
My family and I have entered a new stage in our journey – previously we were a family of whom one was severely disabled. Now we are a family of who a severely disabled daughter has passed away. And we shall still seek the will of the LORD – Heb. 12:28 “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear.”
At the end of this journey, wherever it may take us, I want say as Paul “I have fought the good battle, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Tim. 4:7.
Soli Deo Gloria
Willie Botha
Posted in: Hidden Truths
A child who could not talk, taught me to whisper where angels fear to tread.
A child who could not walk, taught me to walk in faith.
A child who could not see, taught me to look to Eternity.
A child whose body was so fragile, she struggled to take another breath, showed more courage and strength that I would ever have.
A child whom I had to let go live in Heaven forever, showed me how to live this life.
God bless, Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
PRAYER
Mark 14:36 ‘And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but You will.” ‘
In praying, our faith and the content of what we ask, usually features strongly. But we often overlook a crucial element – the LORD’s will.
Jesus’ prayer and subsequent arrest in the garden of Gethsemane are well-known in the gospels. From what I understand, He was troubled and deeply distressed. His soul was sorrowful and His sweat became like great drops of blood. I also believe that Jesus, the Son, was the perfect example of faith and wholly lacked in sin. He was in perfect communication with His Father and pleaded earnestly with Him in Gethsemane. And He acknowledged the will of His Father.
Form a mere human point of view, judged on faith and pleading alone and ignoring the LORD’s will, Jesus’ prayer failed. In doing this, we become completely selfish and severely limit our viewpoint and ultimate destination in life.
CS Lewis, in the movie, Shadowlands, based on his life, says: ‘I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.’
I can’t remember reading it in one of his books, but I think it is something to hold on to. Have faith in the Almighty LORD, plead our case before Him, tell Him how much it hurts and never let go of the peace His perfect will gives.
God bless,
Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
To Melissa, on 24 February
I often think of everyone I've met on the forum.
To Melissa & family: my thoughts and prayers are with you in this time. Thank you for reaching out to me and my family a year ago - it gave much needed comfort and peace.
Altough now I only know in part and see dimly in a mirror, one day it will be face to face with full knowledge and understanding. Part of what I hold onto, is knowing that on Friday, 2 March 2012, when my daughter died in my arms, the LORD was right in the same place where He was when His Son died on a wooden cross. Waiting to take Ingrid in His arms and never let go.
God bless, Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
Hallo Melissa,
Thank you, As Sara said in a previous post - we learn to live with grief, and it shapes us.
One of my favourite Afrikaans poets (SJ Pretorius) wrote:
Werktuigkundige
Die lewe gaan sy kringloop op die swart
bank van die ewigheid, God druk die hart
versigtig daarop vas en slyp dit met
die donker, skerp klein helsteen van die smart.
Loosely translated:
Mechanician
Life goes on its cycle on the black
bench of eternity, God gently squeezes the heart
onto it and whets it with
the dark, sharp small hellstone of grief.
We gave most of Ingrid's medical equipment & special feeds to a family who also has a little girl with West Syndrome. I still have a chest of drawers with Ingrid's clothes in it in our bedroom. I tried to unpack - but could not finish, Way too many tears and memories.
God bless, Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
A pearl of great price
Shortly after Ingrid’s diagnosis, my wife showed me an analogy which describes parenting a disabled child – Welcome to Holland. I’m sure many parents of disabled children know this piece well: planning a family is like planning a glorious trip to Italy. But instead of landing in Italy you end up in Holland, having to change your plans for your much anticipated trip entirely. At the time my wife said that we ended up in Siberia in a blizzard. I told her that although we sometimes have to struggle daily to survive in our Siberia, there are also breath-taking landscapes, countless snowflakes - each uniquely formed by the LORD and that there was also no escape from His will and the path He asked us to walk. This truly taught us to rely on Him and Him alone.
Although at times we were unwillingly confronted by the world’s interpretation of the severely disabled (the inevitable question of what we must have sinned – and yes, this was said in our faces), the promises of the LORD never wavered – 1 Peter 1:7 “… the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,”. Jesus challenged the world’s prejudices when He said in Luke 13:4-5 “… those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will likewise perish.” Each one of us must repent of our own sins and then walk in Jesus’ footsteps.
To me, Ingrid was as a precious pearl – Matthew 13:45-46 “… the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” A grain of sand forms a pearl in an oyster over a long period of time – what starts as painful process, produces a beautiful, precious pearl. And it was a privilege to be part of the process.
With Ingrid’s birth, my wife and I joined a “secret” family – the world of families with disabled children. Although we only know a few in this family, we understand each other’s hopes, struggles and journeys. And when Ingrid’s task on earth was fulfilled and she went to heaven on her appointed time, we still remained part of this family. Because this journey changes you forever and you learn the true meaning of the words “Life is short”.
Jim Croce’s song – Time in a Bottle, describes the preciousness of the time we have with our families (even if one of them does not measure up to the world’s standards). I would like to share the words of the song:
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with
To close – David’s tribute to the glory of the LORD in Psalm 8:1-2 “O LORD, our Lord, how excellent is Your name in all the earth, who have set Your glory above the heavens! Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger.”
Soli Deo Gloria
Willie
Posted in: Hidden Truths
Hallo Sara,
I read your family's blog regularly - your journey are a part of my family, so many experiences resonates with us. We pray for you and your family.
As Willie said - we are still part of the world of parenting disabled children. It is just over a year, but many times I still wake up at night at the times when Ingrid had to be turned or cared for. You can only take sedatives for so long - so now I bake or sew or write at night and end up giving away what we can't use. And unconsciously I watch children that would have been Ingrid's age - another mom who also lost a child told me she does the same. A small voice still wonders "What if ...."
Part of this journey will always be 2 Cor.12:9-10 "... My strength is made perfect in weakness ... For when I am weak, then I am strong." The encouragement and wisdom that comes from our journey, is from the LORD alone. There are still times when I feel I cannot take another step, and still, He is there and I can get up and go on, because He asks me to.
God bless, Anje & Willie
Posted in: Hidden Truths
Last words
Ingrid Botha; born: 20 September 2005, 16h15; passed away: 2 March 2012, 12h50
Like Abraham, we walked our road to Moria with Ingrid, in obedience to the LORD. When we reached our Moria, it was not necessary to build an altar - Jesus was waiting for Ingrid, because He had already made the ultimate sacrifice. We put Ingrid back into His waiting, loving arms.
And the angels rejoiced - because Ingrid was home at last.
In Zechariah 8 the prophet tells us of the New Jerusalem - in verse 5 he says: 'The streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets '. And when I see my little girl again, free from convulsions, disabilities and illness, I shall run to her and my first words will be 'Do you remember me - I called you Ingrid!'
All glory to the LORD!
Anje
Posted in: Hidden Truths
A short article in Creation Magazine, 35(4)2013 (from Creation Ministries International), caught my interest. A UK politician compared disabled children to deformed lambs with five legs or two heads that need to be put down.
One is reminded of Hitler’s rants against humans he called “useless eaters”. Examples in history of attempts to create a society that is disability free are numerous – in Sparta a father had the legal right to terminate a weak child; in Rome the handicapped were raised in the dark.
Christianity introduced the idea that children like these were close to God (Luke 9:48 “…For he who is least among you all will be great.”)
But, somehow the desire to conquer sickness and imperfection is deeply embedded in human nature. When confronted with that which does not fit into our pictures and plans, we become uneasy. And try to make our own plans.
In Isaiah 45, God’s plan for the salvation of Israel and the world, is revealed. Verse 9-10 (from the Jewish Study Bible), reads: “Shame on him who argues with his Maker, though naught but a potsherd of earth! Shall the clay say to the potter, “What are you doing? Your work has no handles”? Shame on him who asks his father, “What are you begetting?” Or a woman, “What are you bearing?””
What seems of no importance and little value to the world, is a precious pearl of great price to the LORD.
The link to the original article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/05/11/cornish-councillor-disability-colin-brewer-deformed-lambs
God bless, Anje