Being Seen: Why Attention May Be The Church's Most Faithful Practice

Many churches are warm, busy, and full of good intentions—and yet people still quietly slip through the cracks. In his January Series talk The Path to Cultural Repair, David Brooks puts language to a reality many congregations are noticing: people are present, but they don’t always feel seen.

Brooks, a longtime journalist and cultural commentator, is best known for his work as an opinion columnist for The New York Times. In recent years, his writing has shifted toward questions of character, moral formation, and relational life. Throughout his talk, Brooks reflected honestly on his own failures and growth, inviting listeners to consider how deeply our habits of attention shape the communities we build.

Brooks’ work isn’t written as theology, but it echoes something Christians have always believed: Love begins with attention. Not rushed attention. Not polite attention. But the kind that says, I see you, and I’m willing to stay here for you because you matter.

The Way We Pay Attention Matters

Brooks describes what he calls diminishing attention. This is the kind of attention we offer when we’re distracted, quick to judge, or already thinking about what we’re going to say next. Most of us fall into this more often than we’d like to admit, especially in church spaces where conversations can feel hurried or overly goal-oriented.

He contrasts this with illuminating attention: listening that is patient, curious, and humble. This kind of attention doesn’t rush people toward answers. It allows room for complexity. And it leaves people feeling more like themselves, not less.

For churches, this distinction matters. When attention becomes thin, people are known mainly by their roles, their struggles, or their opinions. But when attention is generous, people experience something closer to belonging.

This Is Deeply Biblical Work

Scripture gives us a picture of a God who sees. God hears the cries of Hagar in the wilderness. Jesus notices those others walk past. He asks questions. He lingers. He looks people in the eye. Again and again, people are changed not just because Jesus teaches them—but because he truly sees them.

To follow Christ, then, is to learn this way of seeing. Being attentive to one another is not an optional add-on to faith; it is a core practice of discipleship.

What This Can Look Like in Everyday Church Life

This kind of attentiveness doesn’t require a new program or initiative. It often begins with small, faithful shifts:

• Slowing down conversations. Take the time to truly listen!
• Asking one more question before changing the subject
• Listening without correcting or theologizing too quickly
• Noticing who tends to speak and who rarely gets the floor
• Checking in with someone who has pulled back

These practices are simple, but they are not easy. They require time, humility, and the willingness to be present rather than productive.

Questions for Leaders, Councils, and Small Groups

• When was the last time you felt genuinely seen in church? What made that possible?
• Where might our congregation unintentionally practice “diminishing attention”?
• Who in our community might be faithful in showing up—but unseen?
• How might Jesus be inviting us to slow down and notice one another more fully?

An Invitation

In a world shaped by hurry, distraction, and loneliness, churches have a quiet opportunity. By choosing presence over efficiency and curiosity over certainty, we reflect the love of a God who knows each person by name.

Learning to truly see one another may feel ordinary. But it is often through these small, faithful acts of attention that Christ’s love becomes most tangible.