Don't Leave Me!

I have been preaching, writing, and praying for the outcome of this year’s Synod to look exactly like it did. My prayers have been answered to the ‘t.’ Yet, I am unhappy. 

I have heard some, even from the Synod floor, mention that this outcome has forced their hand to write letters of resignation from the CRC. Many have interpreted the events of Synod as God’s call not to change their hearts, but to change their church. 

Though many do not think so, unity is still possible. The CRCNA has the potential to fully align itself both with its confessional documents and Synod 2024’s work without losing a single member. Yes, of course, this is unlikely as it would require some members to abandon the lives they have built on same-sex orientations. With man this is impossible. But with God all things are possible. 

An early 20’s young man appeared at our church last Sunday. He comes to Southern California from Lynden, Washington, and as a result of his hometown, he has a history with the CRC. Today, like so many other young men, he finds himself in the Eastern Orthodox Church. What makes him remarkable is that he struggles with same-sex attraction. One might think such a person would prefer the “old” CRC or even the “new” RCA. However, he has embraced Eastern Orthodoxy because, in his words, “I know they won’t change. I know they will never leave me.” Why would a young, up-and-coming churchman embrace a church that calls his same-sex attraction “a particularly rigorous battle” rather than “a precious gift?” Indeed, his new, old church calls the affirmation of his intrinsic desires a “demonic affirmation.” Could he see something we don’t?

If this young man can embrace such a church, perhaps we can learn to be like him. 

We should not so quickly throw up our hands in exasperation and departing salutation as if Synod’s decision has pulled the strings of our lives in two different directions. We should pause and pray. 

It strikes me that the CRC has, for the past few years, championed the need to have conversations and to hear one another’s stories. We have seen the great importance of praying carefully, frequently, and slowly. Both sides of the current debate have repeatedly called for a carefully deliberative process in which nothing is done rashly. Could it be the case that a decision to leave the CRC over this year’s Synod is to fail to live up to our own advice? Could it be that a decision to leave is one made against God’s will? 

Perhaps the answer to those questions is “no.” Even if it is, they are serious enough that time should be taken to prayerfully consider them. This may be a burdensome question to consider, but might it be part of the burden of the cross we all carry? 

When we entered the faith, it was not only liberating but also something to bear: Jesus said, “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:27). Part of that burden required not a willy-nilly decision but careful consideration, which is why Jesus immediately follows this statement with a rhetorical call to do so: “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:28). 

We all counted the cost when we joined Christ’s Church. Should we not sit down, quietly and humbly before the Lord, and do so once again? Surely if the messy process we all have witnessed has told us anything it is this—none of us is above reproach; none are perfect; we all make mistakes. Perhaps leaving the CRC could register as one of the biggest mistakes you ever make. I sincerely believe that God is calling no one to turn from the CRC but, as it is necessary, to turn from beliefs that can cause great harm to His beloved. 

Such a move would require gargantuan humility, turning back from years, even decades, of speaking and writing for one position only to embrace its opposite. But this is in our DNA. We are all heirs of the banner Semper Reformanda. We know how essential it is to reform our positions, our thoughts, the Church, and especially our lives. 

I know this plea will come across as naïve and even condescending. Who am I to call you to change when I was ostensibly unwilling to do so? But like the dark-robed preachers of the Reformation, I call for something that I myself do only in part, not as an exemplar but as a beggar. Like Luther said on his deathbed, “We are beggars all, this is true.” Perhaps if we accept the call to change from hypocrites like me, God will see our outstretched hands and place the blessed fruit of a growing denomination we have all so longed for into our soiled hands. Is not such a potential worth prayerfully considering, if not pursuing?

The Church of Christ is in a dismal state. Churches dwindle faster than their buildings dilapidate. When the swells of human sexuality were churning at Synod 2023, one pastor stood up and said that something was even more important—the failure of the CRC to attract new members. Rev. Scott Vander Ploeg pointed out that a full third of the CRC has left in the past 17 years. “There’s a lot of things that people came [here] to talk about [i.e. human sexuality],” he said from the Synod floor, “I came for this [i.e. church growth].” Our Church is dying. As Rev. Vriesman has pointed out, accepting LGBTQ lifestyles doesn’t solve the problem. It only makes the Church at large dwindle faster. But men and women of the CRC who used to think same-sex activity was a blessing can lead us into a blossoming future. 

How? By demonstrating to the world what repentance truly looks like. It was the tax collector beating his breast that won the affectionate eye of Christ. The woman who washed His feet with her tears is now renowned throughout the ages. King David’s greatest feat wasn’t killing Philistines but his recognition of his error concerning his sexuality. These eminent Christians paved the path for the explosion of Pentecost, the stronghold of the early Church, Her continuance through the middle ages, the bright light of the Reformation, and the glory of the Great Awakening. Maybe you will be the catalyst for the next great move of God which must—like all the others—come as a result of repentance. If you care about the Christian Reformed Church, I beg you to consider this for her sake.

 This article was previously published on The Abide Project.