Coaching Your Church Toward Holy Complaint
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In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food (Acts 6:1).
It was my first meeting as a rookie elder. During the coffee break an older gentleman pulled me aside for a mentoring moment. He said, “Remember that we serve as watchmen on the walls of Zion. It’s our calling to protect the people of God.”
After that break, I watched as he obstructed every single creative idea and proposal that came on the table. When the meeting was done, it was the pastor’s turn to nab me: “Remember, you weren’t appointed to sit and watch; as you’ve noticed, this table needs your voice.”
In one evening I was mentored in two diametrically opposed ways of serving as an elder. In the 30 years since then, I’ve heard and seen countless pastors and other church leaders discouraged and exhausted by complaining obstructionists in their midst.
And I’ve learned that one of our callings as leaders is to coach our churches to practice the spiritual discipline of holy complaint.
Complaint as a Spiritual Discipline
The spiritual discipline of holy complaint 1) recognizes what is truly essential in being the bride of Christ that serves as salt and light in the broken world that he loves, and 2) recognizes that it is a sin to be distracted by matters that are not truly essential.
Acts 6 quoted above embodies a holy complaint. The church understood itself as a place where no one was in need (Acts 2: 45), but now linguistic prejudice was creating need. What a horrible sin! The verses that follow describe how the church leaders took radical action in response to this holy complaint.
We have a healthy grassroots democratic impulse in our CRC DNA that has allowed the unhealthy assumption that “anyone who has a complaint about anything has the right to express it and be taken seriously” to take root. This assumption does not recognize that complaining is actually a spiritual discipline that requires extensive prayer and consultation intertwined with holy fear and trembling to be exercised in a godly manner.
Practicing Holy Complaint
Here are some helpful ways I’ve seen councils proactively provide coaching for this spiritual discipline:
How is your congregation being coached in the discipline of holy complaint? What have you learned that might be added to this short list?
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