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As a believer with a chronic illness, I crave pastoral care but receive very little because I don't attend our church very often. I get depressed and angry at my life situation then turn to Jesus for support. Jesus is sufficient for what I deserve but I still long for contact with fellow believers. I have a lot of experience in depths of suffering which has shaped my opinions and fostered an understanding of what is really important. I would like to tell people if I could find someone interested enough to listen. People can find empathy in crisis but long-term relations are difficult. Pastoral care is a two-way street.

People act as if caring is a pain because they think they are the ones doing the giving without any return. If you do pastoral care with this attitude, you won't receive a mutual benefit.

This sad fact won't change unless people are filled with the love of God. I don't see anything happening from my observations of this site. People are in a state survival in their own interests. I would love to help but when we are less than a whole, not many people take you seriously. This is sad because the scriptures say something totally different.

As pastors, you guys are one group who can affect change. I hope this could be a priority.




Brother in Christ Ken,

Thank you for taking this honest sharing step of how you feel. As an elder and a kidney transplant recipient myself I understand how you feel and your need to contribute to your church life experience. I must say I have been blessed with just good enough health to push myself to attend services (as much as I can) and serve on council. One outlet I have found that helps my feelings of belonging is to write in our church newsletter quarterly about different topics. This way I can share my thoughts from home and time passes more quickly.

Years ago I learned the two way blessings of doing elder calls on shut-ins and in a way it continues to bless my 'overstanding' feelings of non-involvement. I will continue to pray for YOU and your receiving Grace and Peace from God.



I think that Fronse is right on target in terms of how you might minister even from home. I have had people in their 80's and 90's make their connections on the internet a blessing to others as they share their heart and allow others to share theirs in return. One of our members also found that starting a time of coffee and conversation in their home has brought the church to them instead of always they to the church. Just a thought.


Ken, although you may feel you are less than whole, you should realize that everyone is actually less than whole.   Everyone struggles with something, whether hidden illness, insecurities, trials, past hurts.   Only Christ can make us whole.  

But your perspective will be used by God to enrich others, and to help others see themselves more clearly.  

Every Sunday, well, many Sundays, I have a friend sit beside me in church who has down's syndrome.   He is a young man past his teens, and I wonder what goes through his mind.   His patience and perseverence in trying to follow along in the singing sends me, in my great impatience, a good message.    He is less than whole, and yet happier often than many who appear to be "perfect".    While we yearn to be the way God originally created us to be, still we can rejoice that God uses us and our imperfections still to glorify himself in so many unforseen ways. 

God bless you. 


John Z

I have been disabled for a long time. I use to think this way too but after awhile have come to a different conclusion. Yes, pastors can help and many our strong advocates while others are not. If you need or want more attention just notify the Church leaders! They should respond with help from themselves or get others to. Be active in searching out help. God will send you someone or give you the strength to carry your burden alone for a time? Help like this doesn't come easy for some including Pastors. Don't hold that against them but try to uphold everyone if possible. My biggest problem with the church when it comes to disability is the use of Capcha! Lol

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