As a believer with a chronic illness, I crave pastoral care but receive very little because I don't attend our church very often. I get depressed and angry at my life situation then turn to Jesus for support. Jesus is sufficient for what I deserve but I still long for contact with fellow believers. I have a lot of experience in depths of suffering which has shaped my opinions and fostered an understanding of what is really important. I would like to tell people if I could find someone interested enough to listen. People can find empathy in crisis but long-term relations are difficult. Pastoral care is a two-way street.
People act as if caring is a pain because they think they are the ones doing the giving without any return. If you do pastoral care with this attitude, you won't receive a mutual benefit.
This sad fact won't change unless people are filled with the love of God. I don't see anything happening from my observations of this site. People are in a state survival in their own interests. I would love to help but when we are less than a whole, not many people take you seriously. This is sad because the scriptures say something totally different.
As pastors, you guys are one group who can affect change. I hope this could be a priority.