Postma Post: How Are You Doing, Really?

We’ll get into some more nuts & bolts of denominational ministry in January, but, since this is the second post, I thought I’d share a bit more about myself and how I’m entering into this space. Maybe you'll identify with some of it yourself.

I find that it is not uncommon for someone to ask me: so, how are you doing…for real? So they assume that the authentic answer is not a generic “great!”  So if any of you were to really ask how I’m really doing, here’s what I might share with you. 

I'm Grateful

I find myself regularly reminded that to be able to serve the church and to live into a sense of calling is truly a gift. It is easy to forget this or even to develop a sense of entitlement for living into a deep sense of calling. But not everyone gets this experience, and I’m tremendously grateful for it. 

I'm appropriately anxious

The future is always uncertain but it feels extra uncertain right now. There are some significant challenges in the CRC at this time. If I wasn’t lying awake at night sometimes, there would be something wrong with me. But if I was laying awake every night, that would be unhealthy.  

So I’m on alert as we look into the unknown. But I have a sense of peace as well that is rooted in a strong lived conviction that the church belongs to Christ.

I'm a little weary 

I'm a little weary, not from the work but from our environment. There's a lot of negativity and reactivity in the CRC right now, fueled by real challenges and amplified by a tendency to focus on the worst possible interpretations of things. This negativity can be infectious and demoralizing, even for those in thriving churches.

While acknowledging the difficulties, it's important to remember that the CRC also has strengths and resources. I believe we can actually work through these challenges productively and charitably. I celebrate when I see it. I just wish I could see it more.

I'm hopeful & encouraged

I had dinner with several council chairs last week from Classis Quinte; I've also hosted dinners like this in BC and Alberta, and will continue to do so. The honour and integrity of these leaders is commendable, and it is something I’ve seen in people all around the denomination. Building relationships with people like this is incredibly life-giving.

There are many strong leaders and good people in the CRC. Most of them are relatively quiet. They are under the radar because most really good leaders are like that. They just do the work. This is true for church leaders and denominational staff. The competency and care of the staff you support as churches is exemplary.

Seeing the faithful ministry, the churches that are responding well to their community, the pastors who are serving their churches effectively, the supportive relationships that churches have within a classis, the ministry we are able to do collectively as a denomination. It makes it all worth it and keeps me excited day after day.

I'm cautious for my soul

I meet regularly with a spiritual director. I almost cancelled last week because of a scheduling conflict, but I felt the urge to keep the appointment. I was glad I did. One of my biggest fears is that serving in a role like this will crush my soul and diminish my faith or love of Christ's body. I’m constantly at the intersection of much joy and much pain. But I receive this all as an opportunity for soul work and to hopefully grow in depth and maturity through it all. 

I'm hopelessly in love

Sure, it sounds as weird to write as it does to read. But one of the things that sustains me is loving the church. Not loving the church that I wish it would be, but loving the actual Christian Reformed Church today. I feel like I can’t help it.  The church is a community that we don't build or own, but rather receive as a gift.

God is certainly at work in our denominational community, and I have a lot of joy finding out how we continue to live out our calling. 

Ok, Next Time!

Ok enough about me. I did want to welcome you a little bit into my inner life, but in the new year I plan to start digging into the stuff you’re probably here for. The working title of the next post is “what is my job anyway?” because people do ask and it addresses the governance and ministry structures. And the role I'm in has changed in some some under-recognized but significant ways in the past few years.

Until then, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas as we celebrate the birth our our Saviour together!

With gratitude,

Rev. Al Postma