Merry Christmas (And a Lot More)

First, and most importantly, I want to wish you all a blessed Christmas. As Reformed Christians, we know very deeply that God is actively (and sometimes slowly!) working out the renewal of all things in Christ. It’s a gift to be able to participate in this missional and redemptive work as an individual, as a church, and as a community of churches together. 

Feedback & Pondering

Second, I want to thank all of you who wrote back after my last post on the Third Generation Curse. I’ve had some really helpful conversations. Below are a few thoughts on some of these conversations. If you’re not interested in reading a longer post, please accept my Christmas greetings above and feel free to carry on!

1. The church is not a business

I agree. I was cautious about publishing something using business as a metaphor, given how much damage treating the church like a business can do. Perhaps it didn’t come across clearly, but the post wasn’t really about business at all. It was about multi-generational dynamics that show up in families and communities, whether that be a family business or a church. In each case, it is a multi-generational group of people who are pulled together for a purpose. If you bristled at the business metaphor, consider re-reading with the focus on “family” and reflect on how families function across generations in ways that show up in both businesses and church communities.

2. A community of entrepreneurs

Several people shared about our immigrant history as CRCs in Canada. Fun fact: Immigrants are, overall, an enterprising sort. This is a group of people who not only dreamed of a better future but act on that belief. Particularly in decades past, getting on a boat with barely any possessions, determined to make a new life, while having little expectation of seeing family again took remarkable courage and drive. So when a denomination grows through immigration, the community naturally has an over-representation of action-oriented builders and risk-takers. For the “Third Generation Curse,” it is important to remember that established communities naturally move away from a uniquely concentrated entrepreneurial culture.

I sometimes wonder if the best way to think of the CRC in Canada in the first decades after post-war immigration is to imagine if today the church planters (who tend to be entrepreneurial) were the dominant force in every church, every classis, and in the denomination as a whole. What would that look like today? 

3. Avoiding loss

Maybe connected to the enterprising point, a few people pointed out to me that the 3rd generation has more to lose and less to build. Particularly if a business is in strong financial shape, stepping aside can have serious personal financial consequences. Even if they are less interested or less qualified to lead, they might stay anyway. Also, since there is less to build (since it already exists), some of the more entrepreneurial family members might feel like they have less to offer or don't really belong because preservation becomes more important than risk.

Additionally, I was reminded that there are founders who feel like they have a lot to lose in terms of the family relationships and so sometimes allow the next generations to run the business poorly without putting up a fuss because they don’t want to cause family conflict. 

I often wonder how avoiding loss shows up in churches and denominations.

4. Neglecting the inheritance

A multi-generation issue can also be the neglect of good things passed on. Or, rather, just assuming that they exist without needing to tend to them. It’s like appreciating a strong family relationship but not realizing that the strength comes from grandparents who continue to call everyone together, feed them, and tend relationships between and among family members.

On paper, the CRC has strong systems that could support a thriving denominational community. Many are admired by other denominations. Yet, I’ve seen, through my ministry, how some of these have been neglected. Classis, for example, has robust roles to ensure mutual support and accountability: church visitors, regional pastors, counsellors, and assistance with pulpit coverage. Many churches used to have home visitation. (Side comment, I heard from a church planter once that their big idea for strengthening and growing the church was that the council members would commit to visiting every member of the church at least once per year…how about that…). 

Any system must adapt to remain effective. But too often, subsequent generations stop doing these things, do them grudgingly, or neglect them altogether. Neglect the relational infrastructure and you can expect the family to weaken. 

5. A broader identity

Some conversations I had focused on how broad our identity should be. Some suggested a less distinctly Christian Reformed identity, or questioned whether having a CRC identity is helpful at all. This is not surprising, as when people are fighting over the particulars it’s important to re-anchor in a shared Christian faith. I hear it from pastors, too, some who have talked of re-orienting themselves away from a sense of calling to a Christian Reformed church to a sense of calling to the specific local church or to ministry more generally. For those whose identity has been too narrow and wrapped up in a specific denominational heritage, this is a healthy corrective. Sometimes, though, I do see an appeal to broadness as a retreat from the hard work of navigating the particulars of who we are together. The question might be what is an appropriate degree to which a denomination is part of one’s congregational, pastoral, or personal identity.

6. The middle has shrunk

Related to identity, several people noted that “the middle” has shrunk.  The space for disagreement has lessened, and boundaries are sharpened. I think this is mostly accurate, and I believe strongly that the middle needs to be a hospitable and generous space. It also needs to be protected, as there is a lot more grey in life than some of us tend to allow for (especially those whose voices seem to get amplified).

At the same time, I also recognize that the middle cannot expand indefinitely as there are things a community needs to speak clearly about in order to have a sense of communal identity. Something I’ve been wondering about lately is how large the middle is today compared to decades ago. My sense is that in 2025, the CRC middle is probably larger than it was in the 1960s. Yes, there are some clearer boundary lines and expectations of leaders in the last few years, but I have a hunch those lines are still more generous overall than times in the past. I'd be curious to hear from some people who have been around longer than me on this one.

Maybe I’ll just add that I believe the middle must be an active zone, not a passive one. In other words, we should not appeal to the middle to avoid disagreement (as it sometimes seems) but rather as a place to dialogue, sharpen, and disagree. It’s also healthy to have robust discussions on what belongs in the middle and what doesn’t. Otherwise the middle doesn't just expand, it becomes hollow.

7. Hands on & solid

Finally, I heard repeatedly that the church should offer two main things to future generations: a solid foundation and hands-on experiences. People need to know the mantle they are picking up and why it’s worth investing in. There is significant value in a robust Reformed identity and ensuring that our churches are well-anchored Scripturally, theologically, ethically, and pastorally. 

New generations of leaders also need opportunities to exercise real responsibility in the community. Reflecting on my own experience, I am grateful for the adults in my home church who created these opportunities for me. It made a real difference.

That's it…for now

This doesn't reflect all the conversation and continuing thoughts, but I did promise I'd share back some of what I heard. This is an ongoing discussion, so feel free to let me know what else this is sparking for you! I’ll be out for all of the Christmas break, so if you don’t hear back from me don’t be surprised!

Merry Christmas!

Al Postma