Postma Post: The Third Generation Curse

If you are part of a family business, you have probably heard about the third generation curse. It’s basically this: the third generation tends to run the business into the ground. It is often called the “rags to riches to rags” cycle. It doesn’t always happen (and it is not always the third generation) but it is common.

The third generation curse is actually less about being a business and more about family/community dynamics.

Clearly this isn’t the only factor, or the only way to look at the CRC right now. But I do often think about the Christian Reformed Church in Canada as a third generation family system. Many CRC churches fit this perfectly, having been established by post-war Dutch immigrants in the 1950/60s or later by their kids in the 1980/90s. Even churches that existed before this, or those that came in from outside this generational experience (eg. newly affiliated churches or pastors) are still impacted by these dynamics. Similar to someone marrying into the family business.

If this tracks, then we as the CRC in Canada have likely been generationally primed for an identity crisis and a conflict. So it isn’t a question of if there would be a conflict but rather what would the conflict be about? And, connected to that, what is the CRC all about anyway?

Identity (and Purpose)

An identity crisis is really a crisis of purpose. In most third generation businesses, there is a loss of a clear singular vision of what the business exists for and how it should be run. The founder’s core vision is diluted or shifted across an increasing amount of competing purposes. Not everyone in the family agrees on the core vision of the business, but they all rightfully expect to have a voice at the table. It is not the variety of ideas themselves that cause an issue, however, but the inability to integrate the best of them into a shared vision.

Everywhere I go in the CRC I do hear identity questions. What makes the CRC unique? What is uniquely Canadian? What has the CRC existed for in the past that gave it strength and purpose? Has that changed?

You might guess correctly that I have thoughts on this, but I’ll let the question linger for now. And I’d be curious how you would answer these questions. 

Conflict (and Leadership)

Conflict seems to come when there is no clear sense of leadership. Who makes the decisions? For a family business, how much influence should any individual grandkid have? Is leadership related to competence, or active personal involvement in the business, or having the right last name?

What can also happen is that the first and second generation kind of retire but kind of don’t. They still show up at the farm or at the board room or on the shop floor to chat with key employees and direct how the operations should be run. So it isn’t just across one generation, but across multiple generations.

I believe this is deeply at the core of a lot of the conflict in the CRC today. It isn’t just about our theology of sexuality, it is about defining what are the expectations of leaders, who gets to decide what those expectations are, and what happens when those expectations are not lived into. 

The Moment We Are In

As a denomination, the disruption was probably just waiting to happen. As a Canadian CRC, this is the moment we are in. Saying so doesn’t make it less painful, but it really doesn’t need to be a surprise.

Not every third generation business closes. When families are aware of these dynamics, they can do some key things that protect the business and help it move into the future. A lot of it has to do with getting clear on a shared purpose and expectations of leaders.

I’d like to hear from you if this metaphor rings true for you. Or what you would add to it or push back on. In a future “Postma Post” I’ll share some more of my own observations on purpose & leadership, but I’d be happy to share some of what I hear from others as well.

 Want to receive the Postma Post in your inbox? Sign up here.