Joyful Movies for a Blue Christmas

When I heard Taylor Swift’s lead single, “Fortnight,” from her latest album, The Tortured Poets Department, the single line from the song that kept repeating in my head was this:

 “I love you, it’s ruining my life.” 

Perhaps a blunt statement, it sums up so well feelings of loss: romantic, familial, and otherwise. “I love you, I can’t have you, I lost you, how can I live without you?” These feelings can be particularly heavy during the Christmas season, when we are often reminded of family traditions in which we can no longer partake or are forced to watch others spend joyful days with loved ones who are still here.

As those of us who have experienced grief know, there is no cure or fix. Christmas in our culture stands for togetherness, family, and a gathering of loved ones. For some of us, this can exacerbate our own sense of loss. This extends to Christmas movies, too. Many Christmas-themed movies focus on love, reconciliation, and a happy ending, all wrapped up in a neat bow. It might feel infuriating to watch; for some years, it’s felt that way for me. 

That’s why I have a number of movies I revisit each year that portray real, actual grief, loss, sadness, and loneliness. They allow me to hold these sacred feelings, sit with them for a while, and process my grief. They all have traditional happy endings, but make room for life’s less than happy moments. They also remind me that I am not alone, as lonely as I may feel. Many others around the world experience these feelings of a “blue Christmas.”

You can read more about three of these movies (Little Women (2019), Klaus (2019), and The Santa Clause (1994))  in a recent post I wrote for ReFrame’s Think Christian website.

In Matthew 5:4, Jesus tells us: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” While we may not feel blessed to be sad, grief is a reminder that we loved, we can love again, and we have a community of loving believers surrounding us. I hope these three movies allow you to feel your grief, while also bringing a sense of comfort this holiday season.

We may not always get the Hollywood happy ending—life is often messier than movies—but we’re reminded that, in whatever stage of grief or loss or loneliness we’re in, we are never truly alone. In her book Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church, theologian Rachel Held Evans wrote, “We are called to enter into one another’s pain, anoint it as holy, and stick around no matter the outcome.” 

My prayer for you this Christmas season is that you feel the warm, loving embrace of God and his children, holding you through the pain and hurt.