I've been a licensed Marriage and Family therapist for over 23 years and have been Christian Reformed all my life. I offered to teach a mental health class in a CRC church I recently started attending a few months back. The answer was "no"; we have enough classes already. (None of them address mental health)
In previous CRC churches, I offered the same and was approved. One class in particular was highly successful with attendance and discussion about mental health and related topics to mental health, such as abuse in the church, addictions, and issues with abuse of power among CRC leadership.
I remain perplexed why this church leadership would refuse my offer, unless the leadership themselves fear their own mental health needs and those they worship with, fear what could result by opening up this kind of discussion, and if this is protection for abusers in the congregation.
Thanks for doing this, Chuck. A term I am running into, which I find accurate, is "narcissistic abuse". When working with women who have narcissistic husbands, I review the 16 ways that their husbands mistreat and abuse them. Although some fit the typical controlling traits of abusive husbands, some of them uniquely fit narcissism, such as gaslighting (distorting reality). Gaslighting is also becoming, I think, a stronger "go to" when talking about narcissism. Husbands who tell their wives, "I didn't say that", "you didn't see that right", "You're not thinking right" and so on, are creating self-doubt which is exactly what husbands want.
I wonder what the pastoral narcissistic abuse traits would be. Judy De Wit
I am a Christian Education Director for a Presbyterian church, taught in Christian Schools for 14 years, hold a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, wrote four books, soon to be 5 books about abuse and abuse in the church, and have several other degrees.
Posted in: Does Your Church Offer Mental Health Help?
I've been a licensed Marriage and Family therapist for over 23 years and have been Christian Reformed all my life. I offered to teach a mental health class in a CRC church I recently started attending a few months back. The answer was "no"; we have enough classes already. (None of them address mental health)
In previous CRC churches, I offered the same and was approved. One class in particular was highly successful with attendance and discussion about mental health and related topics to mental health, such as abuse in the church, addictions, and issues with abuse of power among CRC leadership.
I remain perplexed why this church leadership would refuse my offer, unless the leadership themselves fear their own mental health needs and those they worship with, fear what could result by opening up this kind of discussion, and if this is protection for abusers in the congregation.
Thanks for the posting of this question.
Posted in: May 2020 Safe Church Webinar With Chuck DeGroat, Author of When Narcissism Comes to Church
Thanks for doing this, Chuck. A term I am running into, which I find accurate, is "narcissistic abuse". When working with women who have narcissistic husbands, I review the 16 ways that their husbands mistreat and abuse them. Although some fit the typical controlling traits of abusive husbands, some of them uniquely fit narcissism, such as gaslighting (distorting reality). Gaslighting is also becoming, I think, a stronger "go to" when talking about narcissism. Husbands who tell their wives, "I didn't say that", "you didn't see that right", "You're not thinking right" and so on, are creating self-doubt which is exactly what husbands want.
I wonder what the pastoral narcissistic abuse traits would be. Judy De Wit
Posted in: Church Educator (Staff and/or Volunteer) Training Ideas?
What kind of church training are you looking for?
I am a Christian Education Director for a Presbyterian church, taught in Christian Schools for 14 years, hold a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, wrote four books, soon to be 5 books about abuse and abuse in the church, and have several other degrees.
Judy DeWit
Sioux Falls, South Dakota