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Thanks Justin.  Having recently gone through an unexpected 17, much of this resonated with me.   I had some good guidance along the way as this exit seemed more and more likely.   One of the best books I read shortly afterward that restored some healing to my wounds was "The Leaders Journey" by Jim Herrington and Robert Creech.  It speaks to the personal and leadership transformation.  Even in healthy systems of the church people confuse feelings and their opinions.  Most churches are anxious today and fear sets in.  A quick fix is sought but what is needed is a calm leader who takes time to listen, listen some more, and listen again.  I wish I had managed my own anxiety better and paid attention to certain "gaps".   When some of my core motivations where threatened I kicked into another gear that leaders didn't understand.

I too prayed the weekly steering wheel prayer and engaged in self-care.  Yet, I  couldn't overcome an unhealthy leadership environment in this chaotic social/political environment.  I have learned more about myself and  church systems in the last 6 months.  I grieve the losses but am also "strong and courageous" for the next chapter.

 

 

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