Mark Stephenson

B, thank you so much for your comment because it helps me and others get a deeper understanding not just about you, but about others too who are living with PTSD. For churches seeking to minister to people with PTSD, the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship has a fine collection of resources including some ideas for worship ministry and suggestions about use of the lament psalms. See http://cicw.cc/search/results.html?q=PTSD&btnG=+

Also, I just read an insightful blog entry by a Christian who has dealt with depression and is frustrated by the "happy gospel" presented in so many churches. See https://laurelville.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/lifelines-and-the-happy-gospel/

Mark

kelib, thanks for your concern.

Elly, yes! Same with my mom whose journey with dementia lasted about 12 years. Though difficult in some ways, we still had a lot of good times together during those years, and mom shared her love with others in her own way nearly to the end of her life! What a loss if some doctor had decided that she did not have sufficient quality of life and euthanized her.

Dementia runs strongly in my mom's side of the family. So of course I wondered over the past few years (with dread) whether this might be the way I'll spend my final days as well. As mom's dementia has gotten worse, ironically, I have grown less concerned about experiencing the same end myself. With the help of some medications to calm her anxiety, she has been amazingly content and good humored most of the time. She's in a good Christian place where people genuinely care for her and the other residents. She is comfortable overall. Sometimes it seems that the biggest discomfort with the dementia is not experienced by my mom, but by we who love her. Maybe, if we took our cues from her, we would be less anxious about it as well. Could that be one of the blessings that God is bringing through this decline in my mom's life - a way in which the wound of seeing my mother's decline has brought me just a little more trust in my heavenly Father? Maybe.

Mind you, I'm not saying that God allowed her to get dementia for my sake. Not at all. But I wonder if this is one of the collateral blessings that God is bringing to mom's family through her dementia.

John, thanks for your comments. To me there is a vast difference between ceasing to prolong life by removing life support and actively snuffing out a life using poison or some other means. My understanding is that palliative care is so much better nowadays that nearly all people can face death without fear of painful suffering. A couple years ago, I wrote a reflection on the death of Dr. Jack Kevorkian. In response, Rev. George Vander Weit articulated some of the same arguments you make, and he made some additional points as well.

John, what a touching song. Not many popular songs are written as odes to people with dementia! Ms. Eikhard gives a beautiful gift to all of us who have a loved one with memory loss.

In the spirit of sharing, here's a link to a Parade Magazine article from yesterday's issue, "Unlocking the Silent Prison." The main point of the article is that research has shown that people with dementia find written communication much more useful/memorable than spoken communication. For example, one person wrote on a note for her dad, "We are going to the doctor," instead of just telling him. The written note made it possible for him to comprehend that they were going to the doctor, and he didn't repeatedly ask where they were going because he knew. I'm going to try this with mom. 

Thanks Ron. I hope and pray that the respect you express continues to grow among all of us. Not every one agrees on whether our countries should enter into various conflicts around the world, but the men and women who actually fight those conflicts need our appreciation, encouragement, respect, and (sometimes) assistance.

Great idea. I just did.