Very helpful article - Thank you so much for sharing it. There are many commonalities in the experience and the impacts of various kinds of trauma, as well as unique aspects to the experience of physical and sexual abuse. I appreciate those who don't ignore or deny that these issues exist within our congregrations, but rather choose to learn, and to respond in helpful ways. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you for your thoughtful words and for your encouraging affirmation Jennifer. It's not easy to go against the grain, to break the culture of silence and speak up. Yet I believe, as it seems you also do, that there is great value in the telling of these stories, and much to be learned in the hearing. So, thank YOU so much for listening and responding to the recording.
I appreciated what you said that, "Shifting the shame away from the survivor is critical and validating when the unspeakable is spoken is so important." Yes, I agree. May our congregations, not only the CRC but all who claim the name of our Lord, Jesus, acknowledge the unspeakable that happens among us, and validate the stories of those who have experienced it. It's time to end the silence. Blessings to you in your own journey; may you have good companionship along the way.
Safe Church has resources about domestic abuse on our website, including a webinar that was produced in partnership with Safe Haven Ministries. We have these resources available, knowing that this issue is so prevalent among us, even though it remains dangerously hidden.
The topic is how women are disparaged and devalued in our culture; one evidence of that is certainly that they are not equally compensated for their work. Another evidence is the way that they are treated, and also the way people talk about them. Women are not treated the same, or given the same value and respect as men - That's a problem.
It doesn't sound to me as if you've heard the message that we were trying to convey. Perhaps after the election is over, we can engage in reasonable conversation around some of these important issues, including a sanctity of life ethic that extends beyond the womb. But that's a different topic.
I agree that this was not the place to dive into politics and other issues. That made it more hurtful for those women who are already hurting and already feel unheard in their struggle against gender-based violence. I apologize for my part in getting "off topic" at times in my comments. I will freely acknowledge my own bias toward social justice, which doesn't always fit with the political right in this country. But I don't always fit with the political left either; I am a member of Feminists for Life after all. It can all be quite frustrating - but this was not the place for that, and so again, I apologize.
What seems critically important to me is to make space to "hear and respect stories of experiences of life different from our own". I agree wholeheartedly that this can do a lot to heal perceived divides. Where are those spaces in our congregations? In our denomination?
I am a wife, a mother, and a grandmother; and I long for my grandchildren to grow up in a world where the value of each and every person honored; and where each person is treated with the dignity and respect that they deserve as image bearers of their Creator. That's what Safe Church is all about. I believe that the experience of women is not the same as that of men, we are less valued generally speaking (I realize that I don't speak for all women). There is much evidence to show this is true (if you doubt, read the book Half the Sky). I've prayed for many years and will continue to pray that my daughter and my granddaughter, and all of our daughters, will never have to go through the gender-based violence that I've experienced, that continues to impact my life. And I have prayed and will continue to pray that those who have suffered will find compassion and healing with the Lord and with his people; this includes so many women in our congregations who have suffered gender-based injustice. And I have prayed and will continue to pray that the Church, men and women together, can become a force for change, building a better world, a world where all people are valued and honored. And I pray with hope in the redeeming power of our Lord.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Ps. 51:10.
Yes! Let's stand together against the degradation of women, who are created in the image of God. I agree that when evangelicals are silent about this issue, we lose credibility and don't rightly reflect our Lord, who honored women during his life on earth. We are called to look like Jesus, to be his body in the world. No candidate will ever embody Christ, none of us can. However, we must not give up kingdom values to pursue political power. Jesus never sought political power, that is not his way. The Gospel of Christianity suffers as it becomes tied to political power (from Constantine to the present). The Christian right has led us down this path of pursuing power for far too long, and our faith and witness has suffered for it. Now may be a good opportunity to break away from the unholy tie to political power, for the sake of the honor of our Lord and Savior. Hallowed be his name.
A sanctity of life ethic must extend beyond the womb as well as inside it. I'm a member of an organization called Feminists For Life. They show a consistent sanctity of life ethic focusing on the underlying issues that cause so many women to choose abortion. Some of those issues are poverty, health care, education, child care, etc. Consider the issues of healthcare (how many people die of preventable diseases?) or immigration (how precarious life is for displaced people) - then which party better reflects a sanctity of life ethic? It's not as simplistic, or black and white as we make it out to be. And we can't have meaningful conversations about these important issues if we're not willing to look deeper and see the much bigger and more complicated picture behind the sound bites.
I have many feminist friends who don't like Hillary because she stayed with Bill. Was she weak? Or was she strong? She chose to faithfully stay with Bill, despite his unfaithfulness. And she lived through it all in front of the public eye. I can't imagine being in that position, or how I might respond. Marriage is for better and for worse, right? What does her faithfulness to Bill say about her character? How does that compare to her opponent and his faithfulness? These are the two we have; one will become president of the United States. Bringing others into the conversation is a distraction, a smokescreen. The choice before us stands.
Posted in: Trauma Healing
Very helpful article - Thank you so much for sharing it. There are many commonalities in the experience and the impacts of various kinds of trauma, as well as unique aspects to the experience of physical and sexual abuse. I appreciate those who don't ignore or deny that these issues exist within our congregrations, but rather choose to learn, and to respond in helpful ways. Thanks again for sharing.
Posted in: Safe Church Ministry Conference
Thank you for your thoughtful words and for your encouraging affirmation Jennifer. It's not easy to go against the grain, to break the culture of silence and speak up. Yet I believe, as it seems you also do, that there is great value in the telling of these stories, and much to be learned in the hearing. So, thank YOU so much for listening and responding to the recording.
I appreciated what you said that, "Shifting the shame away from the survivor is critical and validating when the unspeakable is spoken is so important." Yes, I agree. May our congregations, not only the CRC but all who claim the name of our Lord, Jesus, acknowledge the unspeakable that happens among us, and validate the stories of those who have experienced it. It's time to end the silence. Blessings to you in your own journey; may you have good companionship along the way.
Posted in: Spiritual Math
It's only when the seed falls to the ground and dies that there there can be growth and harvest.
Posted in: Domestic Violence—Knowing the Facts, Confronting the Myths
Safe Church has resources about domestic abuse on our website, including a webinar that was produced in partnership with Safe Haven Ministries. We have these resources available, knowing that this issue is so prevalent among us, even though it remains dangerously hidden.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
The topic is how women are disparaged and devalued in our culture; one evidence of that is certainly that they are not equally compensated for their work. Another evidence is the way that they are treated, and also the way people talk about them. Women are not treated the same, or given the same value and respect as men - That's a problem.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
As I pointed out in a previous post - we have talked about this a lot! For a long time, unrelated to the U.S. election.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
Hi Joe,
It doesn't sound to me as if you've heard the message that we were trying to convey. Perhaps after the election is over, we can engage in reasonable conversation around some of these important issues, including a sanctity of life ethic that extends beyond the womb. But that's a different topic.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
Thank you Nancy for your encouraging words.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
I agree that this was not the place to dive into politics and other issues. That made it more hurtful for those women who are already hurting and already feel unheard in their struggle against gender-based violence. I apologize for my part in getting "off topic" at times in my comments. I will freely acknowledge my own bias toward social justice, which doesn't always fit with the political right in this country. But I don't always fit with the political left either; I am a member of Feminists for Life after all. It can all be quite frustrating - but this was not the place for that, and so again, I apologize.
What seems critically important to me is to make space to "hear and respect stories of experiences of life different from our own". I agree wholeheartedly that this can do a lot to heal perceived divides. Where are those spaces in our congregations? In our denomination?
I am a wife, a mother, and a grandmother; and I long for my grandchildren to grow up in a world where the value of each and every person honored; and where each person is treated with the dignity and respect that they deserve as image bearers of their Creator. That's what Safe Church is all about. I believe that the experience of women is not the same as that of men, we are less valued generally speaking (I realize that I don't speak for all women). There is much evidence to show this is true (if you doubt, read the book Half the Sky). I've prayed for many years and will continue to pray that my daughter and my granddaughter, and all of our daughters, will never have to go through the gender-based violence that I've experienced, that continues to impact my life. And I have prayed and will continue to pray that those who have suffered will find compassion and healing with the Lord and with his people; this includes so many women in our congregations who have suffered gender-based injustice. And I have prayed and will continue to pray that the Church, men and women together, can become a force for change, building a better world, a world where all people are valued and honored. And I pray with hope in the redeeming power of our Lord.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Ps. 51:10.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
Yes! Let's stand together against the degradation of women, who are created in the image of God. I agree that when evangelicals are silent about this issue, we lose credibility and don't rightly reflect our Lord, who honored women during his life on earth. We are called to look like Jesus, to be his body in the world. No candidate will ever embody Christ, none of us can. However, we must not give up kingdom values to pursue political power. Jesus never sought political power, that is not his way. The Gospel of Christianity suffers as it becomes tied to political power (from Constantine to the present). The Christian right has led us down this path of pursuing power for far too long, and our faith and witness has suffered for it. Now may be a good opportunity to break away from the unholy tie to political power, for the sake of the honor of our Lord and Savior. Hallowed be his name.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
A sanctity of life ethic must extend beyond the womb as well as inside it. I'm a member of an organization called Feminists For Life. They show a consistent sanctity of life ethic focusing on the underlying issues that cause so many women to choose abortion. Some of those issues are poverty, health care, education, child care, etc. Consider the issues of healthcare (how many people die of preventable diseases?) or immigration (how precarious life is for displaced people) - then which party better reflects a sanctity of life ethic? It's not as simplistic, or black and white as we make it out to be. And we can't have meaningful conversations about these important issues if we're not willing to look deeper and see the much bigger and more complicated picture behind the sound bites.
Posted in: Trump, Assault, and Standing Up for Women
I have many feminist friends who don't like Hillary because she stayed with Bill. Was she weak? Or was she strong? She chose to faithfully stay with Bill, despite his unfaithfulness. And she lived through it all in front of the public eye. I can't imagine being in that position, or how I might respond. Marriage is for better and for worse, right? What does her faithfulness to Bill say about her character? How does that compare to her opponent and his faithfulness? These are the two we have; one will become president of the United States. Bringing others into the conversation is a distraction, a smokescreen. The choice before us stands.