Bonnie Nicholas

I'm reading a book called, "The Skeptical Believer: telling stories to your inner atheist" by Daniel Taylor. He points out that the Lord chose to reveal himself through story. The Bible is filled with stories that reveal who God is;  we understand and believe truths about God, because they are connected to and arise out of the stories. And faith is not believing a list of propositions, but rather living into the story that we choose to believe.

I'd like to affirm what is expressed in this article that to continue this discussion is a matter of importance! As Jesus was sent into the world, so are we, his followers and representatives. His life is a good example of engagement with the culture around him, rendering both unto Caesar and unto God, each his due. I've thought about this question as it relates to Safe Church Ministry. There are those who would say that we need not be concerned about abuse which takes place outside our church walls, or abuse that doesn't involve a church leader in a situation of legal liability. What concern is that of ours? Isn't having a safe church policy enough? My answer is no. I would say that our churches are filled with people who have been hurt by abuse (one study states that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have suffered interpersonal violence in their lives - that's a lot of people. They are wounded; they are in our churches). We are the very body of Christ. When one part is wounded, the whole body suffers. We are not what we could be because of it. It seems right to me that the church not only offer support and healing to those who are wounded, but also stand with those who are working toward an end to all abuse, abuse that is hurting our church, and all of us. It's interesting to consider the civil rights movement or the anti-slavery movement. These were fraught with conflict in the church, both sides using the Bible to either uphold the status quo, or call the world (the world, not just the church) to a new understanding. These movements were championed by people of Christian faith; that makes perfect sense to me.

I love the idea of being present. I often tell people that a listening ear is most often far more valuable to someone in crisis than words. Job 2:11-13 says, "When Job's three friends ... heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathaize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, becuse they saw how great his suffering was." This was an appropriate response. Note: they were much less helpful once they started talking.

Below are links to find out more information about John Howard Yoder and the Mennonite response to his abuse of women:

www.nytimes.com/2013/10/12/us/john-howard-yoders-dark-past-and-influence-lives-on-for-mennonites.html?_r=1&

http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2013/december/publisher-john-howard-yoder-books-abuse-women-mennonite.html

http://www.mennoniteusa.org/2013/08/19/denominational-response-to-john-howard-yoder-legacy/

This is an ecumenical group of trainers and I'm not sure that the group would be willing to travel to BC. However, there are plans to publish the training materials that are being developed! I'm very excited about this possibility and how those materials might be used (it's a wonderful group of people working together on this, lots of valuable wisdom). I believe that it's difficult for seminary training to prepare pastors for all that they will face. Therefore, ongoing training is needed, especially in this area of boundaries, which can often be the source of conflict in churches.

Thank you for your comments Bev. I agree that silence is no solution. So I will keep talking. We are called to be light in a world that is sometimes very dark - and it's not easy. I recall a line from a book I read recently, which went something like those who speak truth to power will suffer for it. We've seen that in civil rights movements. It's so hard not to respond in kind when we've been treated badly, or victimized by injustice and abuse. Yet we are called to always reflect the love of our Father to all people, including those who have wronged us. The enemy is prowling, we must not give him an opportunity to sidetrack or distract us from our Lord. That could dim the light that we are called to be, as His church. This sentiment that you also expressed seems a good a prayer - let us not grow weary but be strong in God's power. Amen.

At a recent meeting of transitional pastors, the speaker, Susan Nienaber, said, "The healthiest churches have the least tolerance for bad behavior". The quote stuck with me as it seems to apply to some "messy" situations in which Safe Church involvement becomes necessary.

Of course the Lord has the power to forgive and to transform lives, and churches need to welcome sinners. But that doesn't mean that everyone has the right to become a pastor, Sunday school teacher, or other church leader. I would maiintain that certain behaviors would prevent someone from holding those sacred positions of trust and power in our churches.

As a licensed social worker in the state of Michigan, I'm required to adhere to a professional code of ethics. There are certain behaviors that would cause me to lose my license and never get it back. I'm also required to take 5 hours of continuing ethics education every 3 years. The ethical questions and dilemnas that arise are not always easy and it's good to consider these along with other professionals. We challenge one another and hold one another accountable. It helps us maintain healthy boundaries, which create a container for effective work. That's true for ministry too. Where do CRC pastors and church leaders go for ongoing ethical education? Who can they confide in, and consider ways to create and maintain healthy ministry boundaries? Who will hold them accountable in their day to day ministry?

Does it seem right to you that CRC pastors are held to a lower standard than other professions? It doesn't seem right to me.

Every January our church takes a break from regular adult Sunday school classes and we meet all together and hear people share testimonies. Two or three people are selected to share each week - they know ahead of time so can prepare. Some share how they first came to faith, some share a more recent experience of how God has met them in various life circumstances. The stories have been inspirational over the years and I look forward to every January to see how God is working among us. An added benefit is connecting with people that I might not otherwise, and getting to know them, even a little bit, on a different level. I had the privilege of sharing a few years ago - my story of meeting Christ at a Young Life camp when I was in high school and having the trajectory of my life completely changed. A few weeks ago my husband shared his very different story of growing up in a Christian home, going to church, and to Christian schools - and yet something in his mid-50s led him to seek a renewed relationship with the Lord. It was a beautiful testimony. And my husband was affirmed as people came up afterward to talk with him about how they could relate to his story and benefitted from hearing it. God is glorfied as we share how He meets us, even and maybe especially in our own failure and weakness. It takes a willingness to be vulnerable, to be honest, and to take a risk. And I believe the Lord will honor that.