I am very sorry to hear that you have suffered abuse. It brings a heaviness to my soul. Thank you for sharing; it's not an easy thing to do. It seems that many people are passionate about this issue because they have had first-hand experience; they know how devastating it is. (That includes me.) Every person is so very precious to the Lord and NO ONE deserves to be abused. I praise the Lord that you have found healing with Him. I believe that tremendous healing is available in the Lord. He is powerful to heal, even though what we have experienced becomes a part of our history, and becomes a part who we are. I once had someone ask me if I thought I was completely healed; I responded that it would be so only after this life was over. Yet our God is good, and amazingly powerful; His healing extends to offenders as well.
Please understand that I am in no way saying that abuse, violence and sin don't happen in both genders; absolutely they do. I know men who have sufferred at the hands of abusive women, and I know that their pain is just as real and goes just as deep as the women I know who have also suffered abuse. The fact that abuse happens more often to women, does not in any way minimize abuse that has occurred. We must not ever minimize abuse. To say that women experience abuse differently then men in no way minimizes the Lord's powerful, healing love for ALL of his children. We must not ever minimize God's amazing, transforming love! Abuse is in ALL ways, ALL wrong! And there is a great need for ALL of us to work to stop ALL abuse.
That is what Safe Church Ministry is all about - making our churches safe places for EVERYONE, where there is no threat of any kind of abuse. And making our churches safe places where ALL those who have been abused can find hope and healing. Can we agree on that?
ps - I would welcome your input on Safe Church educational materials. Please feel free to contact me directly [email protected]. Thank you.
I really appreciate your expressed sentiments about women.j
I am part of a group of women who meet every other week for prayer. The Lord has led us to listening prayer. We listen to some music, pray thanksgivings and blessings together and then we sit quietly and listen. Later, those who want to, have opportunity to share what they've heard from the Lord - It's amazing how it all fits together and feeds, refreshes and challenges us. Our God is an amazing God - and as hard as it is to do - I cherish these listening prayer times with other women.
Some of the women in this group first got to know each other in a different group of women, which was also very spiritually uplifing and wonderful. A group of us studied "Bethesda, Come to the Water: A Bible Study Guide for Women". It was fun for me, because although I am the author, I was able to just come to the study as a participant while someone else led the group. It was truly a blessing and I would recommend the study guide to other women. It's available through Faith Alive.
The common theme in both these groups is that a space was created, a space for quiet, a space for acceptence, a space for deep sharing. We miss it if all we do is hurry on to the next thing. Our Lord wants to bless us, we have to put ourselves in a position to receive His blessings.
Anyone can be an activist for change, and this week is a perfect time to join in the fight. Through the end of this week, Congress is in recess, which means your Congressional Representatives and Senators are back in their home offices. Let’s make sure our Members of Congress know how critical it is to fund and enforce programs and services that address sexual assault and harassment in K-12 schools across the country.
We encourage you to call or visit to express your support for items such as: Continued funding and support for the federal Office of Civil Rights and Title IX enforcement; Funding for consent education and prevention programs in middle and high schools; and Support services for victims and survivors of sexual assault and cyber harassment.
Let's follow the lead of these teens. I'm praying for the day when the Church will take the lead in the fight to end abuse.
One of the things I love about the Circle of Grace program, currently being sponsored by Safe Church, is the way it encourages children to talk with a trusted adult when something feels unsafe. Children are taught to identify trusted adults in their lives (adults who are honest and who care about them). They also learn to look the adult in the eyes and say "I have something important to tell you". Then they can describe what happened and how they feel using Circle of Grace language, which they are familiar iwth. And because the program includes information for teachers and parents; it helps adults in the church community learn how to respond to a child who discloses feeling unsafe, or an abuse situation. The Circle of Grace program makes our churches safer places because it helps children do exactly what has been recommended in this blog. Find out more about Circle of Grace on the Safe Church website - click on the left sidebar where it says, "Education is the Best Prevention."
As I read this post I couldn't help thinking about the Circle of Grace program that Safe Church is promoting for all CRC churches. It's not just a program for children and youth in grades K-12, equipping them to be active participants in creating a safe environment for themselves and others. With the information that goes to parents, and the training that is included for teachers, it raises awareness and changes the culture in the entire church community. It gives us a common language to talk about these important issues. I believe it is one of the best comprehensive tools available for buidling communities characterized by respectful, open, and healthy relationships. Is there a better way to to prevent abuse? Find out more about Circle of Grace on the Safe Church website www.crcna.org/safechurch - under education is the best prevention.
If you've ever known anyone who has been stalked, you know how much it impacts his or her entire life. The fact that 1 in 7people who have been stalked move as a result shows how serious it can be. No one should have to live in constant fear. And I know of cases in the CRC, so this is not something that only happens somewhere else. Thanks for the resources Rachel.
Thanks for the post! I'm convinced, due to the prevalence of abuse, that if our churches were better at responding to it, we would not have to worry about dwindling numbers in our churches; they would be full.
Churches have huge potential in the area of responding to abuse and those impacted by it. I often like to emphasize the value of a listening ear (we all have two of them) and a ministry of presense, which is so valuable. It's important to note that churches are not alone in this. Churches can act in a "walk-alongside" role with someone who is seeking other community and professional resources. Though churches rarely will have all the resources that are needed in dealing with abuse situations, we have unique resources, with our Lord and with his people, that are simply not available anywhere else. We need to do our part.
I agree with Mark that this is a sad day for people with disabilities; and also a sad day for me as a US citizen. Jesus has commanded us to love one another; to consider the benefit of others rather than grab at power for selfish gain. Jesus showed us the way to live, going to the cross himself out of his great love for us, his children. Where is love for others in the defeat of this non-binding bill, which shows support for rights of access to people with disabilities? What is the message we are sending to a watching world? Where has our leadership in human rights gone? It is very sad indeed.
Posted in: Adults with Disabilities: Abuse Prevention Tools
Yes, I'll echo the thanks for the good information posted about abuse and those with disabilities being more vulnerable. Thanks Rachel!
Posted in: Is Your Teen Safe?
I agree that we must be careful not to further marginalize anyone who has suffered abuse.
Posted in: Is Your Teen Safe?
Hi again Shawn,
I am very sorry to hear that you have suffered abuse. It brings a heaviness to my soul. Thank you for sharing; it's not an easy thing to do. It seems that many people are passionate about this issue because they have had first-hand experience; they know how devastating it is. (That includes me.) Every person is so very precious to the Lord and NO ONE deserves to be abused. I praise the Lord that you have found healing with Him. I believe that tremendous healing is available in the Lord. He is powerful to heal, even though what we have experienced becomes a part of our history, and becomes a part who we are. I once had someone ask me if I thought I was completely healed; I responded that it would be so only after this life was over. Yet our God is good, and amazingly powerful; His healing extends to offenders as well.
Please understand that I am in no way saying that abuse, violence and sin don't happen in both genders; absolutely they do. I know men who have sufferred at the hands of abusive women, and I know that their pain is just as real and goes just as deep as the women I know who have also suffered abuse. The fact that abuse happens more often to women, does not in any way minimize abuse that has occurred. We must not ever minimize abuse. To say that women experience abuse differently then men in no way minimizes the Lord's powerful, healing love for ALL of his children. We must not ever minimize God's amazing, transforming love! Abuse is in ALL ways, ALL wrong! And there is a great need for ALL of us to work to stop ALL abuse.
That is what Safe Church Ministry is all about - making our churches safe places for EVERYONE, where there is no threat of any kind of abuse. And making our churches safe places where ALL those who have been abused can find hope and healing. Can we agree on that?
ps - I would welcome your input on Safe Church educational materials. Please feel free to contact me directly [email protected]. Thank you.
Posted in: Is Your Teen Safe?
I believe that this is an important dialog and welcome participation.
Posted in: Is Your Teen Safe?
I want to affirm what Rachel has said, and also add my thanks to those who have contributed to this dialog.
Posted in: Women Reaching Women
Hi,
I really appreciate your expressed sentiments about women.j
I am part of a group of women who meet every other week for prayer. The Lord has led us to listening prayer. We listen to some music, pray thanksgivings and blessings together and then we sit quietly and listen. Later, those who want to, have opportunity to share what they've heard from the Lord - It's amazing how it all fits together and feeds, refreshes and challenges us. Our God is an amazing God - and as hard as it is to do - I cherish these listening prayer times with other women.
Some of the women in this group first got to know each other in a different group of women, which was also very spiritually uplifing and wonderful. A group of us studied "Bethesda, Come to the Water: A Bible Study Guide for Women". It was fun for me, because although I am the author, I was able to just come to the study as a participant while someone else led the group. It was truly a blessing and I would recommend the study guide to other women. It's available through Faith Alive.
The common theme in both these groups is that a space was created, a space for quiet, a space for acceptence, a space for deep sharing. We miss it if all we do is hurry on to the next thing. Our Lord wants to bless us, we have to put ourselves in a position to receive His blessings.
Posted in: Ideas for April: Safe Church
Safe Church would like to post this update from Futures without Violence about teens taking the lead!
Young survivors of sexual assault and harassment, as well as their parents, are not backing down. They are taking on Congress and their local school districts - and winning. Take for instance this week’s news article about a group of teenagers in Oregon who forced their school district to change how it handles sexual violence.
Anyone can be an activist for change, and this week is a perfect time to join in the fight. Through the end of this week, Congress is in recess, which means your Congressional Representatives and Senators are back in their home offices. Let’s make sure our Members of Congress know how critical it is to fund and enforce programs and services that address sexual assault and harassment in K-12 schools across the country.
We encourage you to call or visit to express your support for items such as: Continued funding and support for the federal Office of Civil Rights and Title IX enforcement; Funding for consent education and prevention programs in middle and high schools; and Support services for victims and survivors of sexual assault and cyber harassment.
Let's follow the lead of these teens. I'm praying for the day when the Church will take the lead in the fight to end abuse.
Posted in: Questions Children Ask About Abuse
One of the things I love about the Circle of Grace program, currently being sponsored by Safe Church, is the way it encourages children to talk with a trusted adult when something feels unsafe. Children are taught to identify trusted adults in their lives (adults who are honest and who care about them). They also learn to look the adult in the eyes and say "I have something important to tell you". Then they can describe what happened and how they feel using Circle of Grace language, which they are familiar iwth. And because the program includes information for teachers and parents; it helps adults in the church community learn how to respond to a child who discloses feeling unsafe, or an abuse situation. The Circle of Grace program makes our churches safer places because it helps children do exactly what has been recommended in this blog. Find out more about Circle of Grace on the Safe Church website - click on the left sidebar where it says, "Education is the Best Prevention."
Posted in: What can Organizations do to Prevent Sexual Abuse?
As I read this post I couldn't help thinking about the Circle of Grace program that Safe Church is promoting for all CRC churches. It's not just a program for children and youth in grades K-12, equipping them to be active participants in creating a safe environment for themselves and others. With the information that goes to parents, and the training that is included for teachers, it raises awareness and changes the culture in the entire church community. It gives us a common language to talk about these important issues. I believe it is one of the best comprehensive tools available for buidling communities characterized by respectful, open, and healthy relationships. Is there a better way to to prevent abuse? Find out more about Circle of Grace on the Safe Church website www.crcna.org/safechurch - under education is the best prevention.
Posted in: Stalking: It Happens in Christian Communities, Too
If you've ever known anyone who has been stalked, you know how much it impacts his or her entire life. The fact that 1 in 7people who have been stalked move as a result shows how serious it can be. No one should have to live in constant fear. And I know of cases in the CRC, so this is not something that only happens somewhere else. Thanks for the resources Rachel.
Posted in: Caring for Survivors of Abuse
Thanks for the post! I'm convinced, due to the prevalence of abuse, that if our churches were better at responding to it, we would not have to worry about dwindling numbers in our churches; they would be full.
Churches have huge potential in the area of responding to abuse and those impacted by it. I often like to emphasize the value of a listening ear (we all have two of them) and a ministry of presense, which is so valuable. It's important to note that churches are not alone in this. Churches can act in a "walk-alongside" role with someone who is seeking other community and professional resources. Though churches rarely will have all the resources that are needed in dealing with abuse situations, we have unique resources, with our Lord and with his people, that are simply not available anywhere else. We need to do our part.
Posted in: A Sad Day for People with Disabilities
I agree with Mark that this is a sad day for people with disabilities; and also a sad day for me as a US citizen. Jesus has commanded us to love one another; to consider the benefit of others rather than grab at power for selfish gain. Jesus showed us the way to live, going to the cross himself out of his great love for us, his children. Where is love for others in the defeat of this non-binding bill, which shows support for rights of access to people with disabilities? What is the message we are sending to a watching world? Where has our leadership in human rights gone? It is very sad indeed.