I grew up in the CRC, and am still here, along with my family. I'm married to Daryl, who has a construction business. I had a CPA license for 10 or so years, then I added EX to the front, and MOM to the back, so now I'm an EX CPA, MOM =). I am MOM to Duncan, Ian and Samantha. Our family also owns a raspberry farm, and in the summers we get to work out there together.
one of the areas I struggle with on this is we like to "be prophetic critics of the waste, injustice, and selfishness in our society,..." (Ordination of elders and deacons, GPH p1005), that's cool, relevant, makes us (the Church) look good and it's "safe"... however, if we actually follow the biblical charge from Paul in I Cor 5:12 to judge inside the church and not outside, this statement is exactly backwards... we are actually called to be prophetic critics of the injustice in the Church, (of course starting with ourselves with the help of the Holy Spirit)... and as you suggested, this doesn't go over well.... at all! because we/the Church will not look good...
here's a quote from Global trauma recovery website: BOQ It is a sad fact that many organizations (church/denom), when faced with the choice of protecting an abusive leader or victim, choose to protect the leader (and thus the organization) rather than the victims of that abuse. All too often, victims report that the failure of the system to respond well to their cries for help cause more harm than the original abuse. EOQ
so not only is the Church not helping the person who has been "oppressed"/victimized, too many times, we are actually making it worse and become part of the problem. The response of the Church is even worse to the victim, when leadership feels threatened over the exposure of the ungodly conduct.
when this ungodly behavior is threatened to be exposed in the Church, instead of transparency, we find secrecy, silence, and cover up, instead of integrity, we find manipulation, intimidation and deception (it's often very subtle ie...technically not a lie, but effectively very misleading), and instead of purity, we find abusive type behaviors including emotional and spiritual abuse to shun, dismiss, etc those who have been hurt or much worse because of the ungodly behavior... i could list numerous examples of this unbiblical response in the Church, including our beloved crc... and i find that is what people outside the church see very clearly... we are only fooling ourselves, not God, and not those outside the Church...
God calls us His people to humble ourselves, pray, seek His face and turn from our wicked ways.... He did not give this charge to the world/unbelievers, but to us, His people.
hmmm... maybe the Church could try that with elder and deacon selection? it's done to some extent, but this probably takes it beyond the level most churches select their council members? or not?
I think secret sins are a HUGE part of the hypocrisy problem:
posted 10.7.14 on the charisma news website
BOQ... A new national survey of Christian men reveals shocking statistics pertaining to high rates of pornography use and addiction, plus rampant sexual infidelity among married Christian men.
The 2014 survey was commissioned by a nonprofit organization called Proven Men Ministries and conducted by Barna Group among a nationally representative sample of 388 self-identified Christian adult men.
The statistics for Christian men between 18 and 30 years old are particularly striking:
77 percent look at pornography at least monthly. 36 percent view pornography on a daily basis. 32 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 12 percent think they may be).
The statistics for middle-aged Christian men (ages 31 to 49) are no less disturbing:
77 percent looked at pornography while at work in the past three months. 64 percent view pornography at least monthly. 18 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 8 percent think they may be).
Even married Christian men are falling prey to pornography and extramarital sexual affairs at alarming rates:
55 percent look at pornography at least monthly. 35 percent had an extramarital sexual affair while married.
"These statistics knock the wind right out of you. They also confirm what we already know; that there definitely is a problem with pornography and affairs among Christian men and that they are starving for the church to step forward with solutions," according to Joel Hesch, who sponsored the survey and is the founder of the biblically based Proven Men Ministries.
He adds: "The purpose of the survey was not to point fingers, but to get a better grasp on the scope of the problem in light of ready access to pornography in this Internet era.
"It's abundantly clear that pornography is one of the biggest unaddressed problems in the church," Hesch continued. EOQ
I do try to understand what is driving this, because it is so rampant and the fruit is horrific and includes objectifying women/people, the human trafficking of women and children and many other types of abuse and violence, destroying how we are made in God's image, and so it is not only a holiness issue, but also a justice issue... one possibility for these stats is our lack of listening to the Holy Spirit, 1) because scripture says He will always give us a way out of our temptations, and 2) the Word (Eph 5) says there is not even to be a hint of immorality, and it seems we have just written that off as impossible, so why bother trying since we are "wired" this way... something serious is amiss... and these statistics tell me, somehow we have quenched the Holy Spirit to some debatable degree... I believe we can walk in holiness with the help of the Holy Spirit, but it seems, we don't think it's important, and that could be another reason for these high numbers, we don't understand how important walking in holiness is. is this a popular message? of course not, when we have a significant majority of christian men looking at this on a regular basis, and human tendency is to try and justify it. and doesn't scripture include self control as part of the fruit of the Spirit?
I am trying to understand, over the last several years, I have read "every man's battle" and "the pornography trap" as well as numerous articles and testimonies of people affected by porn. About a year ago, some Christian friends very openly shared with my husband and I, about the husband's struggle with porn and we've witnessed him doing a 180, speaking boldly to other men about this issue as well as other significant changes that he attributes to the Holy Spirit. My husband and I have talked about it often, and I have directly asked him about it, and his response was incredibly beautiful to me (If it's ok with you, i might pass this thread on to both of them and see if they would be willing to write a response from their "guy" perspective as well)... there is hope... but it's through the HOLY Spirit!
I believe this is a spiritual issue... as believers of Jesus Christ, He has made us new creations, and the old is gone and I'm not going to disregard the work He has done in your life or mine, but I'm going to acknowledge Him for what He has done and is doing sanctifying each of us... not saying, we will never struggle with lust, but at this level? many on a daily basis, with addiction rates to match? mmmm... something else is going on here... that indicates no genuine repentance or ????, at least can we agree it indicates something very serious is wrong?
prayer is the first weapon we have, and God reveals His heart to us as we spend time with Him in prayer (and the Word)... can I explain it? how does one explain the Living and active Word of God, infused with the breath of the Holy Spirit... is it "mystical"? not in the sense of eastern mysticism, but yes, in the sense that we can't explain with our intellect and logic how He works... it's super rational, not ir-rational... yes, He does supernaturally break into our lives and make changes... I have had numerous "experiences" that were so powerful and life changing, I cry just thinking about them... He has orchestrated statistically improbable/impossible (ie miraculous) connections and events numerous times as well. There is no way I can deny the Holy Spirit and His life changing work in my life, not only through the "experiences, connections, etc" but also through how He has made His Word Living and Active...
I understand our denomination does not have a great historical tradition when it comes to the Holy Spirit (we were cessationist on paper until 1973, when it was refuted by Synod on paper, but not so much in practice, and we are still struggling in this area, if we will be honest about it). Several books that helped me were Jack Deere's Surprised by the Voice of God and Surprised by the Power of the Spirit... Jack has a cessationist background, so we can relate to that... (quick disclaimer, read it with discernment, as at least one of the people he mentions have had some serious moral issues since the books were written). Just yesterday someone alerted me to a book called "Holy Fire" by RT Kendall... that will be one of my next readings...
I think one of the ways to fight this thing is to get a better understanding of the Holy Spirit, hungering for God and His Word. I feel I've only scratched the surface so far in my journey and for the last 7 years or so, the Holy Spirit has been one of the primary focuses of my studying and discussions with people and I will testify that Scripture has become significantly more living and active in the last 7 years than I had ever experienced in the 25 years before that. I've been very blessed in how God has connected me with other believers from different Christian "streams" to help me grow in this, but it will always take discernment and knowing His Word and spending time with Him.
one more point for now (and by the way, thanks for being willing to engage in discussion... I truly believe iron sharpens iron, and sometimes we avoid doing so because we don't want to offend anyone)... that was a great point that sin in general objectifies people, I had never thought of that before... however, I will submit that porn has a way of doing so at a far more rapid pace (which leads to abuse and violence), and there have been studies to show this.
and here's an article from 2012 as one example of some of the material I've read on this... and it's written by a guy who has worked with these types of issues for 20 years...
a quote from the following website dealing with abuse in the church:
http://globaltraumarecovery.org/
It is a sad fact that many organizations, when faced with the choice of protecting an abusive leader or victim, choose to protect the leader (and thus the organization) rather than the victims of that abuse. All too often, victims report that the failure of the system to respond well to their cries for help cause more harm than the original abuse.
I wrote this a few nights ago... the idea started after seeing the warning at the beginning of a movie... "piracy is not a victimless crime"... then later when i went to bed, the idea expanded into this telegram format... I put the original text of the "message" in the old fashioned courier style which did not copy to this comment...
TELEGRAM
URGENT
Pornography is not a victimless activity (Stop)
It hurts God (Stop)
It hurts you (Stop)
It hurts your family (Stop)
It hurts your friends and associates (Stop)
It hurts those who are involved in making the pornography (Stop)
It hurts the women and children enslaved in sex trafficking due to fueling the lust for selfish pleasure (Stop)
But while the culture wars rage on and draw the most attention, Lambert argued that the greatest moral threat to the church today is “the Christian pastor, the Christian school teacher, the Christian Bible college and seminary student, who exalts sound theology, who points to the Bible and then retreats to the basement computer to indulge in an hour or three of Internet pornography.”
and some of the comments are also very disturbing...
"Jesus’ way is the exact opposite of abuse." Amen, preach it sister... that line made me cry, because I've made a similar statment: we/the Church are doing exactly the opposite of what the Bible tells us when it comes to abuse and sexual immorality... I pray for the Church to step up and out, to walk in the potential God designed for her... being transparent and open, and humble, and honest, then, He will open the doors to bring healing through the Church...
I agree there is much potential, but we have to be willing to lose our lives (taking the risk to confess, repent, be honest and open, etc. ) first... and that's where it seems we get stuck... we don't understand and/or we refuse to acknowledge/recognize/admit it's the only way we can move forward... when in God's greater reality, it's the safest thing we can do, because it's God's way... He promises when we confess our sins TO ONE ANOTHER, that opens the door for healing (James 5)... and I have witnessed that and read testimonies that affirm that... it's a step of faith, and might feel like we are stepping off a cliff ( think of Indiana jones when he's going after the holy grail and he takes the step out into thin air, and there's an unseen rock bridge that blends in and so is invisible, but it's there!)
anyway... until there is significant, specific, transparent repentance (not some fairly safe, controlled, generic blanket statement acknowledging that we've messed up here and there, that just doesn't cut it or even come close)... I think the healing we experience in the Church will be limited... are we willing to lose our lives/reputation? are we willing to lay down our lives for those who have been hurt by/in the Church? somewhere I read, God's not worried about His reputation... the excuse of protecting reputation is a cop out by the leaders to justify cover up for each other... and it's the opposite of what Jesus did!
I know it's huge... and definitely not victimless... just the tip of the porn iceberg is horrific... a friend recently shared Mark Driscoll's book "a call to resurgence" with me, and in it, he gives a list of some of the consequences which include the ones you mention, and again, this list is just the tip:
Objectification of women
lack of intimacy with spouse
no need to marry
couples who watch porn together and each fantasize about other people
promotes sex trafficking and abuse, especially of women and children (I would hope this would appall anyone enough to be so horrified that they would never want to view porn again, they are all horrible, but I would pray no one would want to be connected at all to this type of evil)
contributes to sexual sin in ALL forms
downplays severity of sexual sin
deteriorates ability to be faithful and content in marriage, which opens the door to lots more issues with children, relationships, etc.
corrupts relationship between parents and children
(paraphrased list from A call to Resurgence; mark Driscoll; 2013; Tyndale; p54-57
What do you mean by OK?
so does having a culture where it's OK for pastors to be honest about their struggle with porn, mean that we are saying they don't have to worry about losing their job, that we will be ok with leaving them in leadership? do we really think it's ok, for our spiritual leaders to stay in leadership if porn is an issue for them? do we think they are still qualified to lead? is that biblical? Do we not view porn the same as adultery, even though that’s Jesus perspective in matthew 5? Why or why not? Why are the leaders so fearful? are they fighting tooth and nail, like the Catholic church to keep it covered up, because it's so pervasive? is it possible we could have half (or more) of our leaders that should consider stepping down from leadership if the statistics are at all accurate? ... is this issue so HUGE, that’s why leaders are afraid to even begin to address it, because it would mean that maybe 50+% would lose their positions of leadership, including themselves? are we downplaying how horrible porn is? I'm asking, because I'm stunned at how poorly the church has so far addressed this and would like to understand what is going on that this HUGE issue keeps getting covered up by the Church leaders… Do we think God is ok, with how the Church has responded so far?
...because at this point, doesn't it seem we are helping the enemy out because keeping it secret and hidden, in the dark – including through lies and deception, which is in agreement with the enemy's ways, (John 3 & 8) but God's way is bringing sin into the light, transparent truth (Eph 5), which doesn’t seem to be what we are doing? Am I wrong? I really struggle with understanding the fear, why are they so fearful? that indicates a number of things, including lack of trusting God with His ways, and much worse...
Again, we all must be willing to lose our life/job/reputation for His sake, then we will find it... that's God's way... hard? yes, but spiritually healthy per scripture! One article says statistically, only 1% voluntarily share their struggle with porn, the rest get found out. here's the link to a disturbing article on that... I think i've posted this one before on another response... but it's worth a re-read... http://blogs.christianpost.com/guest-views/sexual-sin-in-the-ministry-8613/
if it's child porn they are looking at, then they are definitely beyond any question not qualified, and I hope that would not even be a question... even the secular world, thank God, recognizes that as very sick and very wrong... so don't we see that when one is into porn, they are going to get more and more depraved and it tends to suck them into illegal child porn? That will ruin your very life quickly, when it's found out...
again, I will add a warning, the reading the article could trigger responses connected with abuse... porn is evil, and especially horrific when kids are involved... and so the related articles are tough reads...
God help us, His Bride, to be holy as He is holy...
the Church has a responsibility to protect others from being abused by the same person, especially if it's a spiritual leader, no matter how repentant and forgiven the offender/leader is, and that will include being disqualified (as long as you are crc?) from certain levels of leadership which hold significant levels of authority and trust by people. I am encouraged that classis Toronto made this decision and are sending a latter of regret for what this person had to go through (again). It's a start/step, and has helped bring a significant issue into the light... so, as others have mentioned, what now, to prevent similar situations from happening... including preventing the abuse happening in the first place!
Ezekiel 34 has been heavy on my heart for the last several years as more and more abuse by leadership situations come to my attention ... v 16 talks about those (fat and strong) who have sought their own welfare at the expense of others, and v 17 is about rams and goats (people of power/wealth) who oppress the sheep... v21 talks about the weak sheep (victims) being shoved and driven out by the fat sheep (those in power)... sounds like shunning to me... and lines up with Rachel's comment how someone said that she can never go to church again as she received hate from some for speaking out, and they made her feel like a horrible person...
Church, we are called to much higher standards of holiness... from a number of abusive situations that have been shared with me, the response from Church leadership has not been acceptable, and that includes the crc, so it is encouraging to see Classis Toronto step up with this righteous decision. It's way past time... this case took a year, there are others that have been going on considerably longer... or the person gave up, because it was so painful and traumatizing and continued to be abusive from the leadership's resistance to it being exposed.
Both are biblical, I do find it amusing/interesting that in our tradition of being averse to spiritual experiences to some debatable extent, someone FELT it necessary to change the phrase about how we feel... curious how that came up... that would be interesting to know...
This reminds me of a similar hymn that has also been altered in the 1987 crc psalter... Spirit of God Descend UPON My Heart to Spirit of God Dwell Thou WITHIN My Heart... both versions are biblically correct but speak to 2 different ways the Holy Spirit works... He dwells WITHIN us as believers and also comes UPON people
for times of special anointing for specific seasons, times of ministry, ie revival.
Another phrase in that song was also changed, from the "baptism of the Heaven descended Dove" to the "fullness of the Heaven descended Dove". This would be an interesting discussion as well, as it seems there are several understandings of "the baptism of the Spirit" and that is a concept Jesus mentions in Acts 1:5... for some reason this phrase was changed... again both are biblical, but I find it interesting as our theology of the Holy Spirit has been somewhat limited historically due to our traditional belief of cessationism.
and verse 2 of the Spirit of God song... i have rewritten that verse to a positive based on Paul's charge to us in I Cor 14:1... I ask FOR dreams and prophet ecstasies... etc.... AND take the dimness of my soul away. So if we sing v2 in church or anywhere I sing the positive version.
Posted in: Hypocrisy
one of the areas I struggle with on this is we like to "be prophetic critics of the waste, injustice, and selfishness in our society,..." (Ordination of elders and deacons, GPH p1005), that's cool, relevant, makes us (the Church) look good and it's "safe"... however, if we actually follow the biblical charge from Paul in I Cor 5:12 to judge inside the church and not outside, this statement is exactly backwards... we are actually called to be prophetic critics of the injustice in the Church, (of course starting with ourselves with the help of the Holy Spirit)... and as you suggested, this doesn't go over well.... at all! because we/the Church will not look good...
here's a quote from Global trauma recovery website:
BOQ It is a sad fact that many organizations (church/denom), when faced with the choice of protecting an abusive leader or victim, choose to protect the leader (and thus the organization) rather than the victims of that abuse. All too often, victims report that the failure of the system to respond well to their cries for help cause more harm than the original abuse. EOQ
so not only is the Church not helping the person who has been "oppressed"/victimized, too many times, we are actually making it worse and become part of the problem. The response of the Church is even worse to the victim, when leadership feels threatened over the exposure of the ungodly conduct.
when this ungodly behavior is threatened to be exposed in the Church, instead of transparency, we find secrecy, silence, and cover up, instead of integrity, we find manipulation, intimidation and deception (it's often very subtle ie...technically not a lie, but effectively very misleading), and instead of purity, we find abusive type behaviors including emotional and spiritual abuse to shun, dismiss, etc those who have been hurt or much worse because of the ungodly behavior... i could list numerous examples of this unbiblical response in the Church, including our beloved crc... and i find that is what people outside the church see very clearly... we are only fooling ourselves, not God, and not those outside the Church...
God calls us His people to humble ourselves, pray, seek His face and turn from our wicked ways.... He did not give this charge to the world/unbelievers, but to us, His people.
Posted in: Hiring: A Practice in Spiritual Discernment
hmmm... maybe the Church could try that with elder and deacon selection? it's done to some extent, but this probably takes it beyond the level most churches select their council members? or not?
Posted in: Hypocrisy
I think secret sins are a HUGE part of the hypocrisy problem:
posted 10.7.14 on the charisma news website
BOQ... A new national survey of Christian men reveals shocking statistics pertaining to high rates of pornography use and addiction, plus rampant sexual infidelity among married Christian men.
The 2014 survey was commissioned by a nonprofit organization called Proven Men Ministries and conducted by Barna Group among a nationally representative sample of 388 self-identified Christian adult men.
The statistics for Christian men between 18 and 30 years old are particularly striking:
77 percent look at pornography at least monthly.
36 percent view pornography on a daily basis.
32 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 12 percent think they may be).
The statistics for middle-aged Christian men (ages 31 to 49) are no less disturbing:
77 percent looked at pornography while at work in the past three months.
64 percent view pornography at least monthly.
18 percent admit being addicted to pornography (and another 8 percent think they may be).
Even married Christian men are falling prey to pornography and extramarital sexual affairs at alarming rates:
55 percent look at pornography at least monthly.
35 percent had an extramarital sexual affair while married.
"These statistics knock the wind right out of you. They also confirm what we already know; that there definitely is a problem with pornography and affairs among Christian men and that they are starving for the church to step forward with solutions," according to Joel Hesch, who sponsored the survey and is the founder of the biblically based Proven Men Ministries.
He adds: "The purpose of the survey was not to point fingers, but to get a better grasp on the scope of the problem in light of ready access to pornography in this Internet era.
"It's abundantly clear that pornography is one of the biggest unaddressed problems in the church," Hesch continued. EOQ
Posted in: Hypocrisy
I do try to understand what is driving this, because it is so rampant and the fruit is horrific and includes objectifying women/people, the human trafficking of women and children and many other types of abuse and violence, destroying how we are made in God's image, and so it is not only a holiness issue, but also a justice issue... one possibility for these stats is our lack of listening to the Holy Spirit, 1) because scripture says He will always give us a way out of our temptations, and 2) the Word (Eph 5) says there is not even to be a hint of immorality, and it seems we have just written that off as impossible, so why bother trying since we are "wired" this way... something serious is amiss... and these statistics tell me, somehow we have quenched the Holy Spirit to some debatable degree... I believe we can walk in holiness with the help of the Holy Spirit, but it seems, we don't think it's important, and that could be another reason for these high numbers, we don't understand how important walking in holiness is. is this a popular message? of course not, when we have a significant majority of christian men looking at this on a regular basis, and human tendency is to try and justify it. and doesn't scripture include self control as part of the fruit of the Spirit?
Posted in: Hypocrisy
I am trying to understand, over the last several years, I have read "every man's battle" and "the pornography trap" as well as numerous articles and testimonies of people affected by porn. About a year ago, some Christian friends very openly shared with my husband and I, about the husband's struggle with porn and we've witnessed him doing a 180, speaking boldly to other men about this issue as well as other significant changes that he attributes to the Holy Spirit. My husband and I have talked about it often, and I have directly asked him about it, and his response was incredibly beautiful to me (If it's ok with you, i might pass this thread on to both of them and see if they would be willing to write a response from their "guy" perspective as well)... there is hope... but it's through the HOLY Spirit!
I believe this is a spiritual issue... as believers of Jesus Christ, He has made us new creations, and the old is gone and I'm not going to disregard the work He has done in your life or mine, but I'm going to acknowledge Him for what He has done and is doing sanctifying each of us... not saying, we will never struggle with lust, but at this level? many on a daily basis, with addiction rates to match? mmmm... something else is going on here... that indicates no genuine repentance or ????, at least can we agree it indicates something very serious is wrong?
prayer is the first weapon we have, and God reveals His heart to us as we spend time with Him in prayer (and the Word)... can I explain it? how does one explain the Living and active Word of God, infused with the breath of the Holy Spirit... is it "mystical"? not in the sense of eastern mysticism, but yes, in the sense that we can't explain with our intellect and logic how He works... it's super rational, not ir-rational... yes, He does supernaturally break into our lives and make changes... I have had numerous "experiences" that were so powerful and life changing, I cry just thinking about them... He has orchestrated statistically improbable/impossible (ie miraculous) connections and events numerous times as well. There is no way I can deny the Holy Spirit and His life changing work in my life, not only through the "experiences, connections, etc" but also through how He has made His Word Living and Active...
I understand our denomination does not have a great historical tradition when it comes to the Holy Spirit (we were cessationist on paper until 1973, when it was refuted by Synod on paper, but not so much in practice, and we are still struggling in this area, if we will be honest about it). Several books that helped me were Jack Deere's Surprised by the Voice of God and Surprised by the Power of the Spirit... Jack has a cessationist background, so we can relate to that... (quick disclaimer, read it with discernment, as at least one of the people he mentions have had some serious moral issues since the books were written). Just yesterday someone alerted me to a book called "Holy Fire" by RT Kendall... that will be one of my next readings...
I think one of the ways to fight this thing is to get a better understanding of the Holy Spirit, hungering for God and His Word. I feel I've only scratched the surface so far in my journey and for the last 7 years or so, the Holy Spirit has been one of the primary focuses of my studying and discussions with people and I will testify that Scripture has become significantly more living and active in the last 7 years than I had ever experienced in the 25 years before that. I've been very blessed in how God has connected me with other believers from different Christian "streams" to help me grow in this, but it will always take discernment and knowing His Word and spending time with Him.
one more point for now (and by the way, thanks for being willing to engage in discussion... I truly believe iron sharpens iron, and sometimes we avoid doing so because we don't want to offend anyone)... that was a great point that sin in general objectifies people, I had never thought of that before... however, I will submit that porn has a way of doing so at a far more rapid pace (which leads to abuse and violence), and there have been studies to show this.
and here's an article from 2012 as one example of some of the material I've read on this... and it's written by a guy who has worked with these types of issues for 20 years...
http://blogs.christianpost.com/guest-views/sexual-sin-in-the-ministry-8613/
again, thank you for being will to share your thoughts... this is a HUGE issue, and so, yup, the responses get long...
Posted in: Consider Our Response
a quote from the following website dealing with abuse in the church:
http://globaltraumarecovery.org/
It is a sad fact that many organizations, when faced with the choice of protecting an abusive leader or victim, choose to protect the leader (and thus the organization) rather than the victims of that abuse. All too often, victims report that the failure of the system to respond well to their cries for help cause more harm than the original abuse.
Posted in: Reflections on an Event
I wrote this a few nights ago... the idea started after seeing the warning at the beginning of a movie... "piracy is not a victimless crime"... then later when i went to bed, the idea expanded into this telegram format... I put the original text of the "message" in the old fashioned courier style which did not copy to this comment...
TELEGRAM
URGENT
Pornography is not a victimless activity (Stop)
It hurts God (Stop)
It hurts you (Stop)
It hurts your family (Stop)
It hurts your friends and associates (Stop)
It hurts those who are involved in making the pornography (Stop)
It hurts the women and children enslaved in sex trafficking due to fueling the lust for selfish pleasure (Stop)
Please (Stop)
Posted in: The Price of Porn
here's a recent article (warning: possible trigger for those who have been abused or affected by porn)...
there's a lot of work that still needs to be done by the Church in this area.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/tmatt/2014/05/porn-again-facing-denial-in-conservative-pews/
very disturbing quote from article:
But while the culture wars rage on and draw the most attention, Lambert argued that the greatest moral threat to the church today is “the Christian pastor, the Christian school teacher, the Christian Bible college and seminary student, who exalts sound theology, who points to the Bible and then retreats to the basement computer to indulge in an hour or three of Internet pornography.”
and some of the comments are also very disturbing...
Posted in: Ministry "Speed Dating"
"Jesus’ way is the exact opposite of abuse." Amen, preach it sister... that line made me cry, because I've made a similar statment: we/the Church are doing exactly the opposite of what the Bible tells us when it comes to abuse and sexual immorality... I pray for the Church to step up and out, to walk in the potential God designed for her... being transparent and open, and humble, and honest, then, He will open the doors to bring healing through the Church...
I agree there is much potential, but we have to be willing to lose our lives (taking the risk to confess, repent, be honest and open, etc. ) first... and that's where it seems we get stuck... we don't understand and/or we refuse to acknowledge/recognize/admit it's the only way we can move forward... when in God's greater reality, it's the safest thing we can do, because it's God's way... He promises when we confess our sins TO ONE ANOTHER, that opens the door for healing (James 5)... and I have witnessed that and read testimonies that affirm that... it's a step of faith, and might feel like we are stepping off a cliff ( think of Indiana jones when he's going after the holy grail and he takes the step out into thin air, and there's an unseen rock bridge that blends in and so is invisible, but it's there!)
anyway... until there is significant, specific, transparent repentance (not some fairly safe, controlled, generic blanket statement acknowledging that we've messed up here and there, that just doesn't cut it or even come close)... I think the healing we experience in the Church will be limited... are we willing to lose our lives/reputation? are we willing to lay down our lives for those who have been hurt by/in the Church? somewhere I read, God's not worried about His reputation... the excuse of protecting reputation is a cop out by the leaders to justify cover up for each other... and it's the opposite of what Jesus did!
Posted in: The Price of Porn
I know it's huge... and definitely not victimless... just the tip of the porn iceberg is horrific... a friend recently shared Mark Driscoll's book "a call to resurgence" with me, and in it, he gives a list of some of the consequences which include the ones you mention, and again, this list is just the tip:
Objectification of women
lack of intimacy with spouse
no need to marry
couples who watch porn together and each fantasize about other people
promotes sex trafficking and abuse, especially of women and children (I would hope this would appall anyone enough to be so horrified that they would never want to view porn again, they are all horrible, but I would pray no one would want to be connected at all to this type of evil)
contributes to sexual sin in ALL forms
downplays severity of sexual sin
deteriorates ability to be faithful and content in marriage, which opens the door to lots more issues with children, relationships, etc.
corrupts relationship between parents and children
(paraphrased list from A call to Resurgence; mark Driscoll; 2013; Tyndale; p54-57
What do you mean by OK?
so does having a culture where it's OK for pastors to be honest about their struggle with porn, mean that we are saying they don't have to worry about losing their job, that we will be ok with leaving them in leadership? do we really think it's ok, for our spiritual leaders to stay in leadership if porn is an issue for them? do we think they are still qualified to lead? is that biblical? Do we not view porn the same as adultery, even though that’s Jesus perspective in matthew 5? Why or why not? Why are the leaders so fearful? are they fighting tooth and nail, like the Catholic church to keep it covered up, because it's so pervasive? is it possible we could have half (or more) of our leaders that should consider stepping down from leadership if the statistics are at all accurate? ... is this issue so HUGE, that’s why leaders are afraid to even begin to address it, because it would mean that maybe 50+% would lose their positions of leadership, including themselves? are we downplaying how horrible porn is? I'm asking, because I'm stunned at how poorly the church has so far addressed this and would like to understand what is going on that this HUGE issue keeps getting covered up by the Church leaders… Do we think God is ok, with how the Church has responded so far?
...because at this point, doesn't it seem we are helping the enemy out because keeping it secret and hidden, in the dark – including through lies and deception, which is in agreement with the enemy's ways, (John 3 & 8) but God's way is bringing sin into the light, transparent truth (Eph 5), which doesn’t seem to be what we are doing? Am I wrong? I really struggle with understanding the fear, why are they so fearful? that indicates a number of things, including lack of trusting God with His ways, and much worse...
Again, we all must be willing to lose our life/job/reputation for His sake, then we will find it... that's God's way... hard? yes, but spiritually healthy per scripture! One article says statistically, only 1% voluntarily share their struggle with porn, the rest get found out. here's the link to a disturbing article on that... I think i've posted this one before on another response... but it's worth a re-read... http://blogs.christianpost.com/guest-views/sexual-sin-in-the-ministry-8613/
if it's child porn they are looking at, then they are definitely beyond any question not qualified, and I hope that would not even be a question... even the secular world, thank God, recognizes that as very sick and very wrong... so don't we see that when one is into porn, they are going to get more and more depraved and it tends to suck them into illegal child porn? That will ruin your very life quickly, when it's found out...
http://news.msn.com/crime-justice/dozens-charged-in-child-porn-case-in-nyc-area
again, I will add a warning, the reading the article could trigger responses connected with abuse... porn is evil, and especially horrific when kids are involved... and so the related articles are tough reads...
God help us, His Bride, to be holy as He is holy...
Posted in: Banner Article Highlights Need for Accountability
the Church has a responsibility to protect others from being abused by the same person, especially if it's a spiritual leader, no matter how repentant and forgiven the offender/leader is, and that will include being disqualified (as long as you are crc?) from certain levels of leadership which hold significant levels of authority and trust by people. I am encouraged that classis Toronto made this decision and are sending a latter of regret for what this person had to go through (again). It's a start/step, and has helped bring a significant issue into the light... so, as others have mentioned, what now, to prevent similar situations from happening... including preventing the abuse happening in the first place!
Ezekiel 34 has been heavy on my heart for the last several years as more and more abuse by leadership situations come to my attention ... v 16 talks about those (fat and strong) who have sought their own welfare at the expense of others, and v 17 is about rams and goats (people of power/wealth) who oppress the sheep... v21 talks about the weak sheep (victims) being shoved and driven out by the fat sheep (those in power)... sounds like shunning to me... and lines up with Rachel's comment how someone said that she can never go to church again as she received hate from some for speaking out, and they made her feel like a horrible person...
Church, we are called to much higher standards of holiness... from a number of abusive situations that have been shared with me, the response from Church leadership has not been acceptable, and that includes the crc, so it is encouraging to see Classis Toronto step up with this righteous decision. It's way past time... this case took a year, there are others that have been going on considerably longer... or the person gave up, because it was so painful and traumatizing and continued to be abusive from the leadership's resistance to it being exposed.
Posted in: Theology in Song: Dwell in Me, O Blessed Spirit
Both are biblical, I do find it amusing/interesting that in our tradition of being averse to spiritual experiences to some debatable extent, someone FELT it necessary to change the phrase about how we feel... curious how that came up... that would be interesting to know...
This reminds me of a similar hymn that has also been altered in the 1987 crc psalter... Spirit of God Descend UPON My Heart to Spirit of God Dwell Thou WITHIN My Heart... both versions are biblically correct but speak to 2 different ways the Holy Spirit works... He dwells WITHIN us as believers and also comes UPON people
for times of special anointing for specific seasons, times of ministry, ie revival.
Another phrase in that song was also changed, from the "baptism of the Heaven descended Dove" to the "fullness of the Heaven descended Dove". This would be an interesting discussion as well, as it seems there are several understandings of "the baptism of the Spirit" and that is a concept Jesus mentions in Acts 1:5... for some reason this phrase was changed... again both are biblical, but I find it interesting as our theology of the Holy Spirit has been somewhat limited historically due to our traditional belief of cessationism.
and verse 2 of the Spirit of God song... i have rewritten that verse to a positive based on Paul's charge to us in I Cor 14:1... I ask FOR dreams and prophet ecstasies... etc.... AND take the dimness of my soul away. So if we sing v2 in church or anywhere I sing the positive version.