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I don't know about the song, but I agree with your reservations about the theology.  I wonder if Romans 8 should be read like this: 

Romans 8 is not primarily (and certainly not just) about your personal salvation, but about the way God plans to use those who are in Christ to bring hope and healing (salvation) to a broken world.  So the first part of the chapter talks about the wonderful, and necessary, changes that are needed in the believer (those who are called), and the assurance that God is doing that work in us ("he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you")  The creation waits in eager expectation for this to happen (i.e. "for the children of God to be revealed").  In equipping us for that work we are displaying "the firstfruits of the Spirit".  The Spirit helps us to carry out the work God intends, not the work we intend.  That's why it says "the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God [my italics].  Our wills are meant to conform to God's will. We are meant to conform to his Son. "the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God" [again, my italics].  Only in that context does it seem right to expect that God will work for our good. 

Perhaps even the Heidelberg Catechism misses some of that.

There is a similar dynamic, I think, in the asking in my name passages in John 14-16.

I am intrigued by your comment that you have been in contact with church leaders who interviewed many of those who left.  I found the SPACT report quite unhelpful precisely because I did not see in it any information gathered from those who choose not to go to church, or who opted to leave.  I suspect we would learn more from that than from interviewing church leaders.  Has anyone studied that with any success?

I wonder what would happen if you and your guitar and a few others, instead of worrying about the right effect on stage, used the paucity of instruments at the front as an opportunity to get the congregation to sing.   Isn't it about their worship?

You make a good point.  I think, though, that when a congregation begins to speak out on issues when members in local congregations have not taken the time and have not been encouraged to ask themselves and each other what authentic Christian discipleship might look like where these issues are concerned, the denomination is asking for trouble.  We have to do much more locallly to encourage each other to discern what discipleship in politics, scholarship, personal finance, personal consumption, law enforcement, sports, entertainment, etc.  should look like. 

Yes, but it would be even more fun to see 100 churches where all races feel welcome.  If the church cannot embody that kind of interracial unity, then who can?

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