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I just happened to stumble on this post today, and wanted to say thank you, David/Gary. As a mother who unexpectedly lost her 4-week-old daughter 5 months ago, I found the points in this post to be so accurate.
I especially liked your point: "Bereaved parents can be parents who have lost children in utero, at birth, while an infant, while a youth, or even as an adult. The age doesn’t change things—children will always be sons and daughters of parents."
While I know that everyone means well when trying to offer words of comfort, the words often have the opposite effect. As you pointed out, grief is a journey, and others' attempts to help us "move on" or somehow lessen the significance of her death are not at all what bereaved parents need. We will always grieve the loss of our daughter, and until we're reunited with her in heaven, there will always be a big part of us that's still actively hurting. I think these suggestions, though, are really helpful for friends and family looking to show compassion and care to bereaved parents.
Last month, our church participated in a church-wide Peter Fish collection for World Renew. Each child was sent home with a fish bank and devotional booklet. On the final Sunday of the month, a massive row boat was placed at the front of church, and there was a special time in the service for kids to put their Peter Fish in the boat. The kids were also responsible for searching the room for Peter Fish from other members of the congregation. It was so moving to see the kids so excited and proud to turn in their Peter Fish and run up to other church members to collect their fish. Such joy and enthusiasm in their giving! The loud clunk every time a full Peter Fish was dropped into the row boat was also priceless!
I thought this was a great (and age-appropriate) way to get kids involved in ministry.
Thanks for posting this, Mark. Ten months ago, my husband and I had to make the soul-crushing decision to tell the doctors to stop trying to revive our daughter. To this day, I don't know how we had the strength to do that. However, we do take comfort in the fact that just about every medical resource and effort available was used to give our daughter the best chance at life. We always felt that the hospital and its staff valued her life and was committed to helping her thrive. We are also blessed to live in a state that covers the medical expenses of severely premature babies like my daughter. Without that blessing, we would have faced an astronomical hospital bill for her month of life. It breaks my heart that other parents in similar situations aren't blessed with this same level of support and are forced to fight systems that don't value the life of their child in the way they should.
CRC synod spoke on the issue of climate change recently. In 2010, the synod of the CRC instructed that a task force be formed to study and present a Reformed perspective of creation stewardship, including the issue of climate change. In 2012, the Creation Stewardship Task Force presented its findings in the Creation Stewardship Task Force Report (read the summary here). Synod 2012 responded by affirming its findings and adopting its recommendations, thereby becoming one of the first evangelical denominations in the United States to affirm the scientific consensus on climate change, calling it a "moral, religious, and social justice issue," and calling its denominational bodies, congregations, and individual members to private and public action.
You can read the statement by Synod 2012 here, along with its recommendations to churches.
Love this! It's great to hear about Trinity's passion for creation care. Please keep us updated on this project and other future creation care projects you may take on. Keep up the good work!
So true! Grief is a lifelong journey, but I'm so thankful for the hope we have in Jesus...wouldn't be able to get through the day without it, that's for sure!
Posted in: S.O.S. Sexual Assault at a Retreat by Clergy
A comment in this thread was removed because it violated our community guidelines. We regret any harm that the comment caused, and we encourage readers to be respectful in tone and language, especially when writers are sharing their personal experiences.
Posted in: Broken Hearts
Amen! Blessings and love to fellow grieving mamas.
Posted in: Five Pointers for Praying With Kids
Hi Angela, Feel free to do so! Please just link back to this page and give credit to Faith Alive Christian Resources. Thanks so much for sharing!
Posted in: How Do I Help Someone Who ... Has Lost a Child in Death
I just happened to stumble on this post today, and wanted to say thank you, David/Gary. As a mother who unexpectedly lost her 4-week-old daughter 5 months ago, I found the points in this post to be so accurate.
I especially liked your point: "Bereaved parents can be parents who have lost children in utero, at birth, while an infant, while a youth, or even as an adult. The age doesn’t change things—children will always be sons and daughters of parents."
While I know that everyone means well when trying to offer words of comfort, the words often have the opposite effect. As you pointed out, grief is a journey, and others' attempts to help us "move on" or somehow lessen the significance of her death are not at all what bereaved parents need. We will always grieve the loss of our daughter, and until we're reunited with her in heaven, there will always be a big part of us that's still actively hurting. I think these suggestions, though, are really helpful for friends and family looking to show compassion and care to bereaved parents.
Posted in: Christian Reformed Church Celebrates Pope’s Call to Climate Action
Excited to see such a bold statement from the CRC on this important global and moral issue!
Posted in: What Was Your Best Ministry Idea, Initiative, or Innovation This Past Year?
Last month, our church participated in a church-wide Peter Fish collection for World Renew. Each child was sent home with a fish bank and devotional booklet. On the final Sunday of the month, a massive row boat was placed at the front of church, and there was a special time in the service for kids to put their Peter Fish in the boat. The kids were also responsible for searching the room for Peter Fish from other members of the congregation. It was so moving to see the kids so excited and proud to turn in their Peter Fish and run up to other church members to collect their fish. Such joy and enthusiasm in their giving! The loud clunk every time a full Peter Fish was dropped into the row boat was also priceless!
I thought this was a great (and age-appropriate) way to get kids involved in ministry.
Posted in: The Trials of Charlie Gard
Thanks for posting this, Mark. Ten months ago, my husband and I had to make the soul-crushing decision to tell the doctors to stop trying to revive our daughter. To this day, I don't know how we had the strength to do that. However, we do take comfort in the fact that just about every medical resource and effort available was used to give our daughter the best chance at life. We always felt that the hospital and its staff valued her life and was committed to helping her thrive. We are also blessed to live in a state that covers the medical expenses of severely premature babies like my daughter. Without that blessing, we would have faced an astronomical hospital bill for her month of life. It breaks my heart that other parents in similar situations aren't blessed with this same level of support and are forced to fight systems that don't value the life of their child in the way they should.
Posted in: Diversity and Discernment
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and heart in this post, Danielle!
Posted in: CRC Members Share Why They Are Marching on April 29
Thanks, everyone, for sharing. Love hearing the personal reasons behind why you're marching. Also, Rick, the "Polar Bears Matter" line is awesome!
Posted in: CRC Members Share Why They Are Marching on April 29
Hi Harry,
CRC synod spoke on the issue of climate change recently. In 2010, the synod of the CRC instructed that a task force be formed to study and present a Reformed perspective of creation stewardship, including the issue of climate change. In 2012, the Creation Stewardship Task Force presented its findings in the Creation Stewardship Task Force Report (read the summary here). Synod 2012 responded by affirming its findings and adopting its recommendations, thereby becoming one of the first evangelical denominations in the United States to affirm the scientific consensus on climate change, calling it a "moral, religious, and social justice issue," and calling its denominational bodies, congregations, and individual members to private and public action.
You can read the statement by Synod 2012 here, along with its recommendations to churches.
Posted in: Project Small Creatures at Trinity CRC in Grandville, MI
Love this! It's great to hear about Trinity's passion for creation care. Please keep us updated on this project and other future creation care projects you may take on. Keep up the good work!
Posted in: 10 Things Not to Say to a Grieving Parent
So true! Grief is a lifelong journey, but I'm so thankful for the hope we have in Jesus...wouldn't be able to get through the day without it, that's for sure!