"First Date" with a Prospective Pastor

Suppose you’re a Council member or other leader in a small or mid-size church currently without a pastor. The pressure’s on you to keep all the plates spinning in your ministry, despite not having someone to oversee it all. And suppose your congregation has just extended a call to a prospective pastor, someone you personally hope will accept this new opportunity. And, suppose, that your Council is about to meet with this prospective pastor for your first chance to reflect together on what God might have in store.    It's your "first date"  together.  I’ve been involved with a local church in that very situation.

Such a conversation can be tricky for everyone. Both sides probably hope this “leads to something”. And both sides fear saying the wrong thing, or failing to say the right thing.

How should church leaders approach such a conversation?

When engaging in dialogue with a prospective pastor, it's natural to focus on who the church is today—what we currently want (or want to avoid) with our next pastor.  That's only natural, since we only see the church as it exists today.  That’s what’s right in front of us. However a more valuable discussion can happen if we try to imagine who the church will be in the future.  

A different approach is for everyone to imagine together who the church might be ten years from now after a decade with their next pastor.  Like most churches, your church will undoubtedly be different after ten years.  Some of those changes may be impossible to project, but not all of them. For instance, take a few moments to skim through the church directory and add ten years to everyone’s age. Then visualize what the congregation will be like. Who will be in the directory then?

For instance, how many current Council members will be available to serve a decade from now, or to serve on a worship team?  Honestly, whose funerals will have already happened during the next ten years?   How many of the congregation's children or youth will have come back to the church after going off to school and/or marrying?  How many will not? And who, if any, youth will have replaced them?

And, practically, what might the church's budget look like after those changes have taken place?

Obviously there are usually emerging leaders and other key members who will stand ready to assume important roles in helping the church move into it's future.  But as you consider your next partnership with a pastor it would be good to begin reflecting honestly on what your next decade will involve.    

It can be scary to try to imagine what another decade might do to a local church.  There are a lot of significant challenges that every local church will need to face.  When facing those fears, it can be tempting to hope that getting the "right pastor" will somehow inoculate a church against the ravages of time.  I hear people say: "That's why we need to get the right pastor, to bring back the young families, connect to the youth, etc."  

The fact is that the days of "getting the right pastor" in order to future-proof a local church are probably well behind us now.  Even the most dynamic young preacher will probably not dazzle young worshippers like the full-stage bands or media displays of the local megachurch.  And even the most relational young pastor will not be able to single-handedly maintain connections with an entire generation of children and youth who find themselves slipping away as adulthood pulls them in different directions than their parents might have experienced at their age.    The likely result will be what seems like a slow, unexpected decline of the church for which people will unfortunately want to blame the new pastor for failing to hold back the tides of time.

In short, everybody loses.

There are much better alternatives available, but ones that would not likely happen without forethought and preparation. And the time for that forethought is probably today, not a decade from now.

For a smaller or aging church these questions can feel ominous. What if we can’t meet our budget? What if our Sunday school classes are almost empty? Or . . . what if we slowly waste away until nothing remains of all of our years of ministry together?

But even in such situations there are opportunities that can meaningfully advance the Kingdom of Christ. For instance, one alternative is that God eventually leads the church to develop a step-parent relationship with a new church that could really use your support, encouragement and facility resources as they establish their own presence in their local area. It’s a vulnerable thing to begin as a fledgling church, and it could be a huge gift for a seasoned church to step into such a step-parenting relationship. That can provide a powerful legacy for a Kingdom-minded church.

Another alternative is to ask God to lead you to a new mission field right in your own community. Perhaps for a year the congregation could begin sitting with empty spaces between each worshipper as a way of picturing people who are not yet part of your family—but would be were God to have His way. Perhaps there is an easily-overlooked demographic or ethnic group in your community who could genuinely benefit from an embrace you could provide. For instance, how many single parents in your area would welcome a caring group of foster grandparents? And what might your group be able to do to begin offering tangible forms of God’s grace to them during the coming months? What might you be able to offer in local schools or apartment complexes?

These are two preferred alternatives that I can imagine. Knowing how God works, He may have more. Many more. But alternatives such as these would have profound implications for what your next pastor should invest his time and energy into during the first few years of his tenure with you. It will also have a profound implication for what it will mean to be a member of the church going forward. Everyone would need to change together to follow God’s leading. That’s the key—prayerfully seeking together.

My point would not be that you as a Council or a congregation ought to quickly decide what God is calling you to do. These questions are probably too big and too multi-faceted to decide quickly anyway. God often reveals his purposes slowly, anyway: changing us as we follow. But I would pray that you and your next pastor will be able to covenant together to diligently ask God to show you what He has in store for your future.

The important point is to begin dialogue with your next pastor with these questions at the forefront of your minds and prayers. To the extent that your dialogue with your next pastor focuses on what you (or he) wants today, you may entirely miss a chance to together embrace something that will be truly important for the future of your church. But to the extent that you are able to discuss a possible partnership in which you will need to together seek what GOD wants, your first discussions together could be very fruitful.

That’s a conversation worth having!