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I guess I wonder how many of you have children who are gay, or family members who are part of the LGBTQ+ population. 

I wonder if you have grieved over the choices your baptized children have made. I wonder if you have sobbed as you realized they have made choices you don’t agree with. I wonder if you have asked yourself what you did wrong that caused them to “be this way.” I wonder if you played their childhood over and over in your mind, examining every little thing you can think of that might have “caused them to be gay.” I wonder if you have been able to come to terms with whatever may or may not have happened in their childhood. 

I wonder if you have kicked them out of your home, or barred them from eating at your table. I wonder if you have turned your back on them and said, “you are no longer part of this family.”

I wonder if you have continued to love them, even though your heart is broken.  I wonder if you still hug them, even though you disagree. I wonder if you pray for them – the groaning, agonizing type prayers that have no words. I wonder if you put on a smile when they introduce you to someone they are dating and are able to say, “it’s nice to meet you”, even though you want to cry. I wonder if you are still proud of them. 

I wonder if you still sit next to them in church. I wonder who else in your church will hug them. Who else will get to know them? Who else in your church will care for them as a person, made in God’s image? I wonder if your child will even come to church with you, or if they won’t because of the things people at church have said to them, or the looks of disdain they have received. I wonder if your child loves Jesus, but hates the church. 

I wonder if your child doesn’t love Jesus anymore, who will be able to lead them back to Him if the church keeps shutting the door on their face. I wonder if you ache over the vitriol, the chapter and verse dissections and the theological arguments that aim to point out “their sin” and keep them out of the church.

I wonder if you still try to be the hands and feet of Jesus to your child and if you pray that the church will be too. I wonder if you grieve and ache as much as I do.


As a father of 3 young boys (ages 10, 7, and 5) I have wondered what life would be like if one of them came up to me in their teenage years and said "Dad...I like other boys more than girls." It's a very real thing to me.

Thankfully, I know what I would do. I would be honest with them that I often find myself physically attracted to people that are "off limits" for me. And that at those times I need to fall at the feet of my Savior and ask him to help me resist the temptation to think or act on those sinful impulses. And that I need to ask the Holy Spirit to give me strength. I would tell my son to do the same.

Then I would tell my son that I love him, and that God loves him, and that he is a part of God's family, and that ALL members of God's family experience temptation. I would tell him that God's love is not an excuse to sin, but rather it is a weapon against sin.

And I would never, never demand that other believers make excuses for my son's temptations, or encourage them, or elevate them as being worthy of embracing rather than resisting.

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