Where is the Lament?

Hi Diane.  Thanks for offering your thoughts.  I always appreciate the opportunity for conversation, and I appreciate the willingness that you demonstrate here to seek conversation.

If I may begin with words of appreciation.  I love your reference to I Cor. 12 – such a special and meaningful verse, and so appropriate for our ongoing reflection.  The ramifications of such a view of our life in the church are such that their depth will not be plumbed in our lifetimes.  Thank you for this reference and reminder. 

I affirm your instinct and assertion that lament is deeper and bigger than saying “I’m sorry”. Certainly Scripture models something much deeper, more personal, more heart-wrenching in its laments. Triteness will not serve us well in lament. 

I further appreciate your challenge to grow and learn from others – this is an evergreen challenge in the church and in our personal lives.  There never is a bad time to strive for growth and to learn from others, and if we ever cease in these endeavors we will stagnate. 

Pivoting a bit, I hope you might consider a few thoughts from a different (to use a popular phrase) “lived experience”.  

I am unfamiliar with the dearth of lament that you begin your reflection with.  I wonder a bit if you are well-positioned to conclude broadly that “expression of deep pain and hurt and the ability to put words to that suffering and lay it at the feet of Jesus is something most of us do not understand” or that “we do not do it well” (emphases added).  My observations along these lines are different, though I will not posit that they are universally applicable.  If I may offer a few areas in which I have observed things in contrast to your conclusions.  

My first observation relates to my 52 years of church and personal life, which have been rife with the practice of lament. One of the first and most obvious ways that I have seen this in practice has been through the reading, praying, singing, and preaching of the Psalms, many of which are or contain laments.  Beyond this we find that the prophets also modeled lament.  One of the things I think laments in Scripture include that I see missing from some modern lament is lamenting how we have offended God.  Modern laments seem to have plenty of focus on the horizontal (how we have offended each other), but I see less of the vertical (how we have offended God). I think that can be an area of growth for us in the church and certainly in our moment in the CRC.  In short, I have observed lament to be much more present and rich than you describe.

My second observation relates to synod, in particular the last three years of synod and your question “Where is the lament?”  I was a bit surprised to read your description of the last three years of synod being (somewhat) devoid of lament.  I was a delegate to Synod 2022 and observed an abundance of lament, be it corporate and public or personal and intimate.  Some of us left that synod dubbing it unofficially the Synod of Lament.  Prayers and expressions of lament peppered the proceedings, including a prayer of lament from the members of Committee 8 (HSR committee).  I attended portions of Synod 2023 and watched other portions online, and I would describe that synod in similar terms.  Synod 2024 similarly to my eyes contained significant lament.  I did a quick word search of the Acts of Synod 2022 and 2023 and the Agenda for Synod 2024 (the Acts being as of yet unavailable). By way of comparison, the word “praise” appears 55 times in these documents and the word “lament” appears 57 times.  This is somewhat anecdotal, but does serve to be illustrative of my observations, even as it (likely) under-reports what actually occurred (as to frequency).  Again, lack of lament is not what I observed.

My third observation relates again to the synods of 2022-2024, but not to the proceedings thereof specifically.  Rather, I speak here of the “cloud of witnesses” that prayed over these synods.  I have rarely observed such petitioned proceedings, as churches and individuals throughout my sphere of observation poured out their hearts before God in repentance, lament, praise, and intercession.  In particular I think of a group that I joined regularly (sometimes in person, sometimes in theme/topic while absent) for prayer on a weekly basis over the last three years.  I can testify that lament was regular during these times. 

I can believe that you long for greater lament, but I would offer that perhaps the lack of lament is not as prevalent as you believe. I will certainly join you in encouraging godly lament and can absolutely agree that the Biblical call to pray without ceasing always convicts us that we have never “arrived” at any perfect or complete pattern of prayer. 

I will offer a last challenge in conclusion.  You offer a list of laments near the end of your article.  I wonder if you would be willing to reflect on other laments that you have excluded.  It seems to me that it is entirely appropriate not just to lament our current malaise and pain, but also what led to these conditions.  Can we say we lament…

• broken vows and covenants
• false teaching
• calling evil good and good evil
• those led astray
• slanders of character
• lack of submission where submission was promised
• failure to heed correction
• our corporate rebellion against God and tolerance of sin 

I cannot envision a lament that is pleasing to God that begins and ends on the horizontal, with broken human relationships.  It seems to me that we must acknowledge and lament our sins before God that have led to a position where we need to lament broken human relationships.  Ultimately all of our lament and brokenness finds its root in the brokenness of our relationship with God, and that deserves our greatest lament.  

I am again thankful that you have opened up this topic and thank you in advance for any longsuffering you may have in engaging or considering my responsive thoughts. 

Eric, it looks like we agree on a lot here, including the importance of regular and intentional lament. As for synod, yes, the list of specific laments could be long. I think my point is that most people, churches, and classes will move on after synod with no further thought (and most people in the pew do not read the Acts of Synod). Before the CRC moves on, it seems some lament is appropriate. As Christ followers we lament with hope of Jesus' return, and it's  good to say together, Come Lord Jesus, come quickly.

"As Christ followers we lament with hope of Jesus' return, and it's  good to say together, Come Lord Jesus, come quickly."

Amen.

The idea of lament is woven into the fabric of Scripture, particularly in the Psalms, where David and other writers give voice to their deepest griefs, disappointments, and fears, trusting that God hears even their most anguished cries. Jesus Himself lamented over Jerusalem and, in His final hours, cried out in drift hunters abandonment, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matt 27:46). Lament is a form of trust because it assumes God is present and that He cares. However, as you mention, the culture in many churches—including the CRC—has often encouraged a "bright side" approach, where focusing on the positive and future goals can overshadow the necessary work of mourning loss.