Bonnie Nicholas

Hi Susan, thanks for your thoughtful comment. Erc has already written a good response, let me just add this: I didn't mean at all to imply that Larry Nasser's actions were not horrific, or that he in any way should not be held fully accountable for his actions and the huge devastion he's caused in the lives of so many women and girls. The fact that you found my words "jarring", thinking of him as a person, created in God's image, is understandable. You can only imagine how jarring the allegations were for someone who knew and trusted him. It's always jarring, and feelings of a deep sense of betrayal are common. My point is that abuse is most often perpetated by ordinary people, people who are loved, trusted, and considered 'safe'. That's how access is gained, and that's what often allows abuse to continue; because it's simply too jarring to believe that it could really be happening.

Thank you so much Bev for your encouraging words.

Thank you for your comment. You raise a very important issue. This article does not in any way imply that only women are sexually abused or harassed. However, it acknowledges that we live in a culture that generally devalues women. I won't take time here to get into all the ways, or site all the evidence for that fact; suffice it to say that men still hold far more power than woman do. Patriarchy has been the law of the earth since the fall in the Garden of Eden (see Genesis 3:16, which wasn't the original plan, but praise the Lord, we have been redeemed, able to live in mutual respect and partnership according to the original design). In church culture in particular, we see that there are places where women still do not have the privilege of even voting or holding office. Context is important. The overall context is that men hold much more power in our culture (in church and outside of church) than women do - that is the context and that needs to be acknowledged and taken into account. It impacts the way abuse and harassment are experienced. That in no way diminishes the severity of abuse or harassment for any person, man or women. The dynamics however are different, In fact, the same toxic masculine culture can make it even more difficult for men who have suffered abuse to come forward and talk about their experience. It's admirable to witness the courage of the men who have also stepped forward in the "#me too" movement. Statistics tell us that 1 in 6 men have suffered sexual abuse. Safe Church includes resources on our website for men, including a link to the website  https://1in6.org/, Safe Church works toward creating communities where the value of each person is honored, and where all people are free to worship and grow free from abuse or harassment. And where harm has occurred, may our churches be places of compassion and justice that foster healing. Pray with us toward that end. And thanks again for your comment.

Thank you for your comment. Safe Church offers resources to increase awareness about facts and what is really happening. We must not put our heads in the sand and pretend that all is well when sexual abuse is so prevalent among us. Safe Church offers links to numerous reliable sources for information to help increase awareness, such as this helpful infographic from the Centers for Disease Control. And you'll notice the term "made to penetrate" is used, as definitions of rape have changed to include the victimization of males. The 1 in 6 website previously mentioned is a great resource, I hope that you've looked at it. 1 in 6 refers to the number of men who have been victimized out of the entire population of men (Yes, a different statistic than the percentage of male vs. female perpetration within that group). 

Safe Church Ministry works toward creating communities where the value of each person, regardless of gender, is honored, and where ALL people are free to worship and grow free from abuse. And where harm has occurred, may our churches be places of compassion and justice that foster healing for ALL who have been victimized by abuse, regardless of gender. That is the goal that we are working toward. If this is something that you are also passionate about, please feel free to join us in our work. Contact Safe Church for details about how to become more involved in the growing Safe Church movement. 

It may also be good to note that Safe Church Ministry has many men who serve as safe church team members throughout the U.S. and Canada. And our second staff person is also a male, Rev. Eric Kas, Safe Church Associate. It is our hope and prayer that we will be prepared to minister with both men and women who have suffered abuse; and that we may be agents of change in our culture to end sexual abuse. 

I'm wondering if there was any conversation with the intern, and with others about this issue. I can think of various options off the top of my head, and in good conversation with others I'm sure there would be a lot more. What about flexible work hours, working offsite, or alone in the building when you were not there? Or, what about an office with a lock on the door? Same sex relationships must also be considered in safety planning. Has this been an issue with male interns or only female interns? If it's only seen as an issue with female interns, then that's a problem in my mind. There might be other ways to work around the concerns of having two people alone working together in a church building - a video camera in the office space? A quick-dial emergency phone number? And the trust level in the relationship must also be considered. I don't believe that completely risk-free ministry is possible - it is our responsibility to minimize risks as much as we are able. And I often say that risks must always be weighed against benefits in determining the best course of action; and if you're going to error (it's human after all) error on the side of safety.