This may not be a university student related issue. Most universities have extra support systems in place for students that could make it easier, rather than more difficult, for a student to report sexual assault. Research shows that sexual assault is one of the most underreported crimes of all. And on top of that, the conviction rate is also very low. There is a tendency for people to blame the one who has been victimized and there is a very real risk of being re-victimized throughout the criminal justice process. Unfortunately, in our culture, the most "normal" thing for someone who has been sexually assaulted to do is NOT report it to the police. Those who have survived abuse most often seek support apart from the criminal justice system. And this is an opportunity for the church to fill an important role in the life of people who have been hurt and who can benefit immensely from the love of our Savior.
Thanks for posting about this excellent resource. We believe it's one of the best tools available for equipping children and youth with the skills they need to actively participate in creating a safe environment for themselves and others. It will help build a culture of respect and healthy relationships for the next generation in our churches. Now is the time to get ready for Fall and plan on adding Circle of Grace to your church school curriculum.
Because we believe in it so much, Safe Church Ministry is supplementing the cost for this program - it's available from Safe Church Ministry to CRC, and and now also to RCA congregations, for only $25. (The information on our website has not yet been updated to reflect this - 50 churches received the program free of charge to pilot the project - that phase is now over). Here's what one CRC had to say about Circle of Grace, "The program is very good. It ties in well with what the kids are already learning ... The program is easy to adjust for a small church. We did not have any difficulty combining the classes and using lessons from multiple grades ... The parent information was a good addition to send home as well ... I would say it was a success."
When Helping Hurts is a wonderful book; offering critical insights into what it means to answer the call to love our neighbors as ourselves. Treating people as whole people, the interconnectedness of issues and problems people face, the spiritual brokenness that is at the root, and being authentic in relationship. The book doesn't say never do short term missions - only that what we do needs to be considered carefully in light of a bigger picture.
Thanks for this insightful blog. It's so much easier to concern ourselves with the kingdoms of this world and of our own lives, which are visible all around us, than to be completely surrendered to the kingdom of God, which is often invisible. May the Lord give us eyes to see his kingdom, where he is working, and hearts to follow him as King.
Thanks for the post - I like the last two and am encouraged by it to go to those first - prayer, and delegating. Both represent a healthy ministry response, knowing our need for the Lord and our need for others. In addition, delegating is a great way to empower others and multiply ministry.
Thanks for posting - I think part of the problem is our inability to handle difficult conversations, about lots of things, not just masculinity. I believe all of us need to continue learning about how to value differences and honor one another.
Thanks for posting. This blog was written as a report about a recent community event sponsored by Safe Church Ministry. Though I wrote it, the ideas expressed are those of the two presenters, who were men. They also reflect the views of many other men, including two men, who have done a lot of work and research with men, and wrote the book, Mascupathy:Understanding and Healing the Malaise of American Manhood, which was recently released (see www.mascupathy.org). So, just to be clear, this is not a feminist viewpoint, the source is very masculine. One of the main tenants of the presentation was that men and boys are socialized to minimize feelings, and that that can have very negative consequences in life. I wonder if most would agree with that assessment. It's not that masculinity needs to be overcome, rather it needs to be realized in all it's fullness.
Personally, I long for a world where all people are valued and respected and are free to be all that they were created to be - male and female. Both were created in the image of God and given the mandate to rule over creation (Gen. 1:26-30). Ideally it's a partnership. I could give you my take on what happened between the sexes in Genesis 3 and how that fallenness continues to affect gender relationships. But that would be a completely different blog (maybe another day).
I agree that it's so important to keep Safe Church and the topic of abuse visible, out in the open, where we can talk about it. That's a key for prevention. Thanks for your words of encouragement Elly - and for your prayers.
Thanks for your post Bev - great article. Pornography is often referred to as a "victimless crime" - it's not! In addition to those caught up in producing it, it causes devastation in relationships, marriages, and families. We need to consider what kind of future we are creating for our children. This is a HUGE problem that needs to be addressed!
I am also aware of many pastors who struggle with pornography, but are very afraid to be public about it. We also need to think about creating a culture where it's OK to be honest and to seek help. There is help available - but not as long as we refuse to acknowledge the problem.
Safe Church is supporting the efforts of "Shore 2 Shore With a Roar" - a motorcycle ride to increase awareness about pornography. There are people in this group who have faced the issue head on, and have grace-filled stories to tell. Find out more at www.shore2shore2014.com.
There are no easy answers here - rather we must learn to live in the tension of truth and grace, judgment and mercy, consequences and forgiveness. It's not an either-or proposition, it's a both-and struggle to find the best path. None of us are holy, yet we are called to be the church, Christ's body in the world. And I believe that church leaders especially need to be held to high standards to honor the great and holy name of our Lord.
I also believe that abuse thrives in silence and secrecy; therefore, we need to create a culture where struggles with sin are shared and not hidden. There is a tension that must be maintained, lived through, and wrestled with. We may not all draw the lines in the same places, but to keep it all hidden is not a viable option for a healthy church.
I'm reading a book called, "The Skeptical Believer: telling stories to your inner atheist" by Daniel Taylor. He points out that the Lord chose to reveal himself through story. The Bible is filled with stories that reveal who God is; we understand and believe truths about God, because they are connected to and arise out of the stories. And faith is not believing a list of propositions, but rather living into the story that we choose to believe.
Posted in: Consider Our Response
Thank you Robin, for your courage, openness, and honesty. May the Lord give us ears to hear.
Posted in: Consider Our Response
This may not be a university student related issue. Most universities have extra support systems in place for students that could make it easier, rather than more difficult, for a student to report sexual assault. Research shows that sexual assault is one of the most underreported crimes of all. And on top of that, the conviction rate is also very low. There is a tendency for people to blame the one who has been victimized and there is a very real risk of being re-victimized throughout the criminal justice process. Unfortunately, in our culture, the most "normal" thing for someone who has been sexually assaulted to do is NOT report it to the police. Those who have survived abuse most often seek support apart from the criminal justice system. And this is an opportunity for the church to fill an important role in the life of people who have been hurt and who can benefit immensely from the love of our Savior.
Posted in: Supplement Your Sunday School Curriculum: Help Keep Children Safe!
Thanks for posting about this excellent resource. We believe it's one of the best tools available for equipping children and youth with the skills they need to actively participate in creating a safe environment for themselves and others. It will help build a culture of respect and healthy relationships for the next generation in our churches. Now is the time to get ready for Fall and plan on adding Circle of Grace to your church school curriculum.
Because we believe in it so much, Safe Church Ministry is supplementing the cost for this program - it's available from Safe Church Ministry to CRC, and and now also to RCA congregations, for only $25. (The information on our website has not yet been updated to reflect this - 50 churches received the program free of charge to pilot the project - that phase is now over). Here's what one CRC had to say about Circle of Grace, "The program is very good. It ties in well with what the kids are already learning ... The program is easy to adjust for a small church. We did not have any difficulty combining the classes and using lessons from multiple grades ... The parent information was a good addition to send home as well ... I would say it was a success."
Posted in: What if When Helping Hurts Hurts Helping?
When Helping Hurts is a wonderful book; offering critical insights into what it means to answer the call to love our neighbors as ourselves. Treating people as whole people, the interconnectedness of issues and problems people face, the spiritual brokenness that is at the root, and being authentic in relationship. The book doesn't say never do short term missions - only that what we do needs to be considered carefully in light of a bigger picture.
Posted in: “We Want A King Over Us”
Thanks for this insightful blog. It's so much easier to concern ourselves with the kingdoms of this world and of our own lives, which are visible all around us, than to be completely surrendered to the kingdom of God, which is often invisible. May the Lord give us eyes to see his kingdom, where he is working, and hearts to follow him as King.
Posted in: When Should You Opt Out?
Thanks for the post - I like the last two and am encouraged by it to go to those first - prayer, and delegating. Both represent a healthy ministry response, knowing our need for the Lord and our need for others. In addition, delegating is a great way to empower others and multiply ministry.
Posted in: Boys Will Be Boys
Thanks for posting - I think part of the problem is our inability to handle difficult conversations, about lots of things, not just masculinity. I believe all of us need to continue learning about how to value differences and honor one another.
Posted in: Boys Will Be Boys
Thanks for posting. This blog was written as a report about a recent community event sponsored by Safe Church Ministry. Though I wrote it, the ideas expressed are those of the two presenters, who were men. They also reflect the views of many other men, including two men, who have done a lot of work and research with men, and wrote the book, Mascupathy:Understanding and Healing the Malaise of American Manhood, which was recently released (see www.mascupathy.org). So, just to be clear, this is not a feminist viewpoint, the source is very masculine. One of the main tenants of the presentation was that men and boys are socialized to minimize feelings, and that that can have very negative consequences in life. I wonder if most would agree with that assessment. It's not that masculinity needs to be overcome, rather it needs to be realized in all it's fullness.
Personally, I long for a world where all people are valued and respected and are free to be all that they were created to be - male and female. Both were created in the image of God and given the mandate to rule over creation (Gen. 1:26-30). Ideally it's a partnership. I could give you my take on what happened between the sexes in Genesis 3 and how that fallenness continues to affect gender relationships. But that would be a completely different blog (maybe another day).
Posted in: Don't Be Fooled By Appearances
I agree that it's so important to keep Safe Church and the topic of abuse visible, out in the open, where we can talk about it. That's a key for prevention. Thanks for your words of encouragement Elly - and for your prayers.
Posted in: The Price of Porn
Thanks for your post Bev - great article. Pornography is often referred to as a "victimless crime" - it's not! In addition to those caught up in producing it, it causes devastation in relationships, marriages, and families. We need to consider what kind of future we are creating for our children. This is a HUGE problem that needs to be addressed!
I am also aware of many pastors who struggle with pornography, but are very afraid to be public about it. We also need to think about creating a culture where it's OK to be honest and to seek help. There is help available - but not as long as we refuse to acknowledge the problem.
Safe Church is supporting the efforts of "Shore 2 Shore With a Roar" - a motorcycle ride to increase awareness about pornography. There are people in this group who have faced the issue head on, and have grace-filled stories to tell. Find out more at www.shore2shore2014.com.
Posted in: The Price of Porn
Hi again Bev,
There are no easy answers here - rather we must learn to live in the tension of truth and grace, judgment and mercy, consequences and forgiveness. It's not an either-or proposition, it's a both-and struggle to find the best path. None of us are holy, yet we are called to be the church, Christ's body in the world. And I believe that church leaders especially need to be held to high standards to honor the great and holy name of our Lord.
I also believe that abuse thrives in silence and secrecy; therefore, we need to create a culture where struggles with sin are shared and not hidden. There is a tension that must be maintained, lived through, and wrestled with. We may not all draw the lines in the same places, but to keep it all hidden is not a viable option for a healthy church.
Posted in: Storytelling as Relationship Building
I'm reading a book called, "The Skeptical Believer: telling stories to your inner atheist" by Daniel Taylor. He points out that the Lord chose to reveal himself through story. The Bible is filled with stories that reveal who God is; we understand and believe truths about God, because they are connected to and arise out of the stories. And faith is not believing a list of propositions, but rather living into the story that we choose to believe.