Bonnie Nicholas

Thanks so much Darren for bringing to light a topic that really needs to come out of the darkness. No problem will ever be solved by ignoring it. The problem of pornography must be addressed, yes, in our churches too. 

One question in my mind is, where can pastors or ministry leaders who struggle with this go for help? How do we create a culture where it's OK to share our struggles? At the same time we don't want to tolerate this evil, and it is evil, we have to be able to talk about it, and allow for people to seek help. Hiding it, or pretending it doesn't exist is the worst response.

Pornography was the topic of Abuse Awareness Sunday in 2012. Safe Church ministry supported, as we were able, a group of people who rode motorcycles to help increase awareness about this topic. We also had a powerful workshop at our bi-annual conference that year, which featured a couple who openly and courageously shared their own struggle with pornography addiction. We salute them! And we're so grateful for the insights they were able to share with us. I know that they are not alone. Find out more  here.  

Safe Church Ministry has sermons posted on our website regarding the relationship between King David and Bathsheba that acknowledge the power differential involved. They can be found here, under Sermons (http://www.crcna.org/SafeChurch/resources-abuse-awareness/safe-church-ministry-and-general-abuse-awareness)

There is another organization using the word "cluster" that also is working to connect churches on the East Coast and elsewhere. It's an ecumenical movement to end child sexual abuse and it arises out of the work of Linda Crockett and the Samaritan Safe Church initiative. It started in Pennsylvania (after the Penn State scandal) and is now spreading to other areas as well. Many churches are joining this movement of those who are taking a stand against child sexual abuse. Current research says that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys experience sexual abuse before they reach the age of 18. Many believe that it's time to stand up and say, this is NOT OK! The idea behind the "cluster" is that we are not called to do our work alone; there is a strength and a synergy that is only possible when we partner with others, whether it's other CRC congregations, or other Christians, or others with a similar vision. We're stronger in "clusters" whether it's to end child sexual abuse, strengthen congregations, or become effective coffee break leaders. If you'd like more information about the Samaritan Safe Church movement - please contact Safe Church Ministry; maybe there is a "cluster" in your area.

Just listened today - thank you Mark and Mike for sharing your insights with us in this webinar.

Thanks for this informative article.

Church Law and Tax Report creates a list each year of the top 5 reasons that churches end up in court (http://www.churchlawandtax.com/web/2014/july/top-5-reasons-churches-end-up-in-court.html). At the top of the list each year since 2010 is "Sexual Abuse of a Minor". We must not bury our heads in the sand and assume that it won't happen in our congregations. Having a safe church/abuse prevention policy in place, which includes background checks for staff and volunteers is an important step in protecting the children, youth, and vulnerable adults that have been entrusted to our care. It's also an important step in protecting our congregations from allegations, lawsuits, and financial ruin as well.

Safe Church Ministry provides resources regarding background checks. And your local safe church team member can also provide assistance. 

Part of a toolkit for prevention is paying attention to what we teach our children about themselves, about their relationship with the Lord, and how that affects their relationships with one another. With just a few lessons each year, for each grade level - K-12, the Circle of Grace program helps children and youth understand God's presence with them always, the sacred nature of all relationships, and how to talk to a trusted adult when something doesn't feel right. More information can be found on the Safe Church website www.crcna.org/safechurch - click on the left side bar, "Education is the Best Prevention."

This may be a bit off-topic - I agree with what has been expressed in this article. However, there is another side to it. When I think of "age appropriate" activities, sometimes I think that adults limit themselves by definitions of what adult appropriate activities are. I've had the wonderful privilege of leading support groups, and various small groups over the years. Much insight has been gained by spending time coloring with crayons, playing with play dough, clipping from magazines to make a self-portrait collage, or doing things like "describe your relationship with the Lord using chenille stems" (AKA pipe cleaners). Recently I observed my 6 mos. old granddaughter grabbing and playing with the table cloth at the restaurant where we were eating (threatening to severely disrupt our table) and then she leaned over to take a taste of it, chomping down on the side of the table (everything goes in her mouth for a taste). We all laughed at her antics. But I thought how little adults explore their world through their God-given sense of taste - maybe that's a good thing. But maybe it's not such a good thing that we, as adults, limit ourselves in how we explore our world, and our faith to socially accepted adult activities. Perhaps we have lost some of the childlike wonder and curiosity about our world that comes from exploration using all of our senses. Perhaps we all need to take more time to stop and smell the roses, or to sit down and color with crayons for awhile.

What seems to be a key thought to me is that the Father sent his son INTO the world. It was an incarnational ministry of presence. How are we sent INTO the world; making meaningful connections with people, institutions and communities? How are we partnering with the Holy Spirit in bringing about God's kingdom, "thy kindgdom come... in earth as it is in heaven"?Individually or collectively, there needs to be meaningful connection, an incarnational ministry of presence with and among, not separate from.