First I am so sorry to hear about your abuse at a residential school. No one should ever have to experience that, especially a young child. Again, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you.
It's not true that we only want encouraging comments in this space. We do want them to be respectful for sure, yet there is also much to be learned from honest interaction and from constructive critique. I'm curious about what regulations you believe are going too far, and which procedure was so encroaching that people stopped volunteering for the nursery. If you'd like to discuss this further in a less public format, please feel free to email or contact me directly. ([email protected])
That's a very good question. I have no formal legal training and would recommend that you consult with a legal professional to find out the possible implications of live streaming a church service. Then you can make a decision based on better input than I am able to give here. Generally speaking, it's my understanding that a church service is considered a public event, open and free to the public; and as such it possesses some legal freedom in terms of sharing images from the event. One question to ask is whether the live streaming needs to include children, and for that matter other members of the church. If the purpose of the live stream is to hear the message, and/or the music, it seems that could be done without any images of children or others who happen to be in attendance. Are people generally aware that the service is live streamed and/or have they given written permission for their images to be used? Whether legally required or not, that could be seen as a courtesy to the congregation. In addition, children are especially vulnerable and it is our responsibility to provide them safety and protection. There may be situations that would make live streaming children (and any other attendee for that matter) unwise, even if it is not a legal liability. It's a good question, and offers much food for thought.
Safe Church offers mini-grants each year that can help make events like this possible. We're so thankful for our classis safe church coordinators and others who are willing to put in some effort to better equip congregations in abuse awareness, prevention and response. Watch for our new 2020 Safe Church mini-grant opportunity coming this fall.
I just watched the first Frozen movie for the first time with my 3-year old granddaughter last week. She loves it and has been acting it out almost since before she could walk and talk (I have videos to prove it). One thing I liked about the movie was the reaction, the rebuke to Anna, who decided to get engaged to someone she just met - "no one does that!". And the message of true love being willing to sacrifice for the other. What better messages these are than so many previous Disney movies and fairy tales that suggest reality includes love at first sight and happily ever after with no downside. And I've had the song "Let it Go" in my head ever since - It's inspiring! Sometimes we need a little "sass" to get through what we're facing.
Thanks for posting this article Philip. Assessing the culture of which we are a part is so very challenging, because it's so much a part of us. Questions about how much the culture outside the Church affects the culture inside the Church, and where exactly our values and ways of thinking come from, are difficult to decipher. This includes our thinking about what it means to be a man or a woman. Listening carefully to others who are different from us, who bring other cultural perspectives can be very valuable.
I think one of the main points of the video segments Gillette has created is to emphasize what's also known as bystander intervention. Most men do not harass or abuse women, yet the silence of men in general serves to condone and normalize these behaviors. Kudos to Gillette for speaking up! And we, as Christians, who value all people created in the very image of God, must also not remain silent, but speak up against whatever devalues and harms people. The messages we send, whether they be in word or deed, show up in the generations that follow us. It's good to ask and carefully consider, what are we teaching our boys about what it means to be a man? What messages are they getting from the Church? I applaud using Jesus Christ himself as our example.
I agree that embracing what's positive and justice-building is a good place to be. Linda Crockett, a person I admire a lot, who is working to build a movement to end child sexual abuse, talks about different streams joining to form a movement. One of the streams is the faith community - with different tributaries, like Christianity, and even smaller tributaries like the CRC. When this justice stream joins other streams, all moving toward a better humanity - in this instance moving to end violence against women - that's a good thing.
Thank you for your thoughtful clarification; yes, I agree that true mercy must also include justice and that we owe it to both the one who has been harmed as well as to the one who has offended. Thanks again.
Thanks so much for sharing your letter to the editor in this space. Men have a tendency to listen to other men, therefore we need male allies who will speak up against a culture that finds it easy to devalue women in so many ways, both subtle and not-so subtle. This perception of women as "less than" provides an underlying context for all kinds of abuse. Our silence can speak volumes, so thanks again for speaking up!
Thank you for all the thoughtful comments on this article. When it comes to policies to prevent abuse, a criminal background check is widely considered standard best practice, and many insurers require it. Therefore, we are confident in recommending it to our churches, knowing full well that we work only in an advisory capacity - decisions like this are up to individual church councils.
And please forgive us at Safe Church if we seem to come off as the experts or as arrogant in our opinions, that is certainly not our intent. I have had no formal legal training and would never consider myself an expert on policy matters - I have some experience, that's all. And you'll notice that many of our resources and referrals come from outside the CRC, from other organizations who have devoted themselves to a certain area and have far more experience and expertise than we do. We encourage churches to take advantage of these kinds of resources. We also see this Network space as a place to share and to learn from one another. We are working to develop classis safe church teams so that they can be a more local resource to churches in the classis, each team member bringing their own unique gifts and skills. Please note that it's the many requests for assistance from churches and individuals with questions about background checks and policy that led us to write this article, and seek your expertise as well. So, again thank you for your thoughts and contributions in this learning space.
Thanks Jane for your sensitivity here to those who have experienced abuse. And even though this is an aside, you are absolutely right that the trauma of abuse often has long-lasting effects, and the road to healing may be long and winding. Sometimes spiritual platitudes, however true they might be, simply are not able to be heard by someone who is still in the midst of the struggle about how a loving, all-powerful God could sit back and watch his beloved child be abused. It's indeed a struggle, and that struggle is part of the healing journey. There are no short cuts or easy fixes. Listening, listening and listening some more, and a silent ministry of being present can be so extremely valuable to someone who has suffered abuse. Safe Church is so thankful for the many people who have been willing to enter the difficult places and walk alongside over time. This is something we are unable to do from our office here in Grand Rapids and so depend on you and your ministry. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Posted in: Back to the Future! Safe Church at Synod 1994 and 2019
First I am so sorry to hear about your abuse at a residential school. No one should ever have to experience that, especially a young child. Again, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you.
It's not true that we only want encouraging comments in this space. We do want them to be respectful for sure, yet there is also much to be learned from honest interaction and from constructive critique. I'm curious about what regulations you believe are going too far, and which procedure was so encroaching that people stopped volunteering for the nursery. If you'd like to discuss this further in a less public format, please feel free to email or contact me directly. ([email protected])
Posted in: Updates from Safe Church Classis Coordinators (Zeeland, MI) - Me Involved in Safe Church Ministry?
That's a very good question. I have no formal legal training and would recommend that you consult with a legal professional to find out the possible implications of live streaming a church service. Then you can make a decision based on better input than I am able to give here. Generally speaking, it's my understanding that a church service is considered a public event, open and free to the public; and as such it possesses some legal freedom in terms of sharing images from the event. One question to ask is whether the live streaming needs to include children, and for that matter other members of the church. If the purpose of the live stream is to hear the message, and/or the music, it seems that could be done without any images of children or others who happen to be in attendance. Are people generally aware that the service is live streamed and/or have they given written permission for their images to be used? Whether legally required or not, that could be seen as a courtesy to the congregation. In addition, children are especially vulnerable and it is our responsibility to provide them safety and protection. There may be situations that would make live streaming children (and any other attendee for that matter) unwise, even if it is not a legal liability. It's a good question, and offers much food for thought.
Posted in: Living Faithfully and Well Together: 20th Inter-Classis Safe Church Conference
Safe Church offers mini-grants each year that can help make events like this possible. We're so thankful for our classis safe church coordinators and others who are willing to put in some effort to better equip congregations in abuse awareness, prevention and response. Watch for our new 2020 Safe Church mini-grant opportunity coming this fall.
Posted in: Frozen Again, a Refreshed Perspective
I just watched the first Frozen movie for the first time with my 3-year old granddaughter last week. She loves it and has been acting it out almost since before she could walk and talk (I have videos to prove it). One thing I liked about the movie was the reaction, the rebuke to Anna, who decided to get engaged to someone she just met - "no one does that!". And the message of true love being willing to sacrifice for the other. What better messages these are than so many previous Disney movies and fairy tales that suggest reality includes love at first sight and happily ever after with no downside. And I've had the song "Let it Go" in my head ever since - It's inspiring! Sometimes we need a little "sass" to get through what we're facing.
Posted in: Gillette: The Best a Man Can Get?
Thanks for posting this article Philip. Assessing the culture of which we are a part is so very challenging, because it's so much a part of us. Questions about how much the culture outside the Church affects the culture inside the Church, and where exactly our values and ways of thinking come from, are difficult to decipher. This includes our thinking about what it means to be a man or a woman. Listening carefully to others who are different from us, who bring other cultural perspectives can be very valuable.
I think one of the main points of the video segments Gillette has created is to emphasize what's also known as bystander intervention. Most men do not harass or abuse women, yet the silence of men in general serves to condone and normalize these behaviors. Kudos to Gillette for speaking up! And we, as Christians, who value all people created in the very image of God, must also not remain silent, but speak up against whatever devalues and harms people. The messages we send, whether they be in word or deed, show up in the generations that follow us. It's good to ask and carefully consider, what are we teaching our boys about what it means to be a man? What messages are they getting from the Church? I applaud using Jesus Christ himself as our example.
Posted in: Gillette: The Best a Man Can Get?
I agree that embracing what's positive and justice-building is a good place to be. Linda Crockett, a person I admire a lot, who is working to build a movement to end child sexual abuse, talks about different streams joining to form a movement. One of the streams is the faith community - with different tributaries, like Christianity, and even smaller tributaries like the CRC. When this justice stream joins other streams, all moving toward a better humanity - in this instance moving to end violence against women - that's a good thing.
Posted in: Working in Opposites
Thank you for your thoughtful clarification; yes, I agree that true mercy must also include justice and that we owe it to both the one who has been harmed as well as to the one who has offended. Thanks again.
Posted in: Becoming the Guest
Yes!
Posted in: Violence against Women – It’s a Men’s Issue
Thanks so much for sharing your letter to the editor in this space. Men have a tendency to listen to other men, therefore we need male allies who will speak up against a culture that finds it easy to devalue women in so many ways, both subtle and not-so subtle. This perception of women as "less than" provides an underlying context for all kinds of abuse. Our silence can speak volumes, so thanks again for speaking up!
Posted in: Background Checks: What Screening Services Does Your Church Use?
Thank you for all the thoughtful comments on this article. When it comes to policies to prevent abuse, a criminal background check is widely considered standard best practice, and many insurers require it. Therefore, we are confident in recommending it to our churches, knowing full well that we work only in an advisory capacity - decisions like this are up to individual church councils.
And please forgive us at Safe Church if we seem to come off as the experts or as arrogant in our opinions, that is certainly not our intent. I have had no formal legal training and would never consider myself an expert on policy matters - I have some experience, that's all. And you'll notice that many of our resources and referrals come from outside the CRC, from other organizations who have devoted themselves to a certain area and have far more experience and expertise than we do. We encourage churches to take advantage of these kinds of resources. We also see this Network space as a place to share and to learn from one another. We are working to develop classis safe church teams so that they can be a more local resource to churches in the classis, each team member bringing their own unique gifts and skills. Please note that it's the many requests for assistance from churches and individuals with questions about background checks and policy that led us to write this article, and seek your expertise as well. So, again thank you for your thoughts and contributions in this learning space.
Posted in: Background Checks: What Screening Services Does Your Church Use?
Thanks Jane for your sensitivity here to those who have experienced abuse. And even though this is an aside, you are absolutely right that the trauma of abuse often has long-lasting effects, and the road to healing may be long and winding. Sometimes spiritual platitudes, however true they might be, simply are not able to be heard by someone who is still in the midst of the struggle about how a loving, all-powerful God could sit back and watch his beloved child be abused. It's indeed a struggle, and that struggle is part of the healing journey. There are no short cuts or easy fixes. Listening, listening and listening some more, and a silent ministry of being present can be so extremely valuable to someone who has suffered abuse. Safe Church is so thankful for the many people who have been willing to enter the difficult places and walk alongside over time. This is something we are unable to do from our office here in Grand Rapids and so depend on you and your ministry. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Posted in: Music as Mission
What a great story!