I appreciate the larger font and cleaner look. Yes, it takes time to see everything each week (and I do see everything), but it's worth it. Thankyou for giving us this forum to share/learn with/from each.
Several thoughts come to mind on this topic, Mark. We are all people first, and persons with gifts/talents and disabilities second. That applies to both abled persons as well as those with disabilities. There are "regular people" and those with special talents and gifts among abled persons. Why should there not be "regular persons" with disabilities as well as those who have special talents and gifts? In fact, God has often used their disabilities to help them discover what their gifts and talents are. And isn't that the responsibility of all of us - to discover the talents and gifts God has given us, and to use them for His glory and for the benefit of our neighbours?
One additional thought: how many people have discovered their gifts and talents through their association with persons with disabilities? I'm one of those people. When I returned to work after being a stay-at-home mom for seven years, I started working in a nursing home as a care aide until I could take a refresher course to get my R.N. registration again. I worked in this facility for over 23 years learning from my residents with dementia, mental illness and physical disabilities on how best to journey with them and meet their needs. This led to my becoming involved in the Disability Concerns ministry, with a special interest in advocating for those with dementia and mental illness, which I had time for when I became physically disabled myself and could no longer work. I have a nephew who is studying to become a neuroscientist partly because of his interest in what is happening to his father's brain and life as a result of drug use. God has given each of us talents and gifts, and it is our responsibility to discover and use them. That applies to everyone, both abled and disabled. And isn't it great when we can discover our gifts through our relationship with each other?
Trinity CRC in Edmonton, AB. does a similar memory of a child's baptism. All those present at the baptism can sign their name on the frame to indicate that they covenant with the parents to help bring their child up in the fear of the Lord. Parents then take that frame/picture home, rather than having it hanging in the church.
The bowl idea is a wonderful one, too. Maybe that will catch on here too in response to your article.
Amen and Amen! If assisted suicide and euthanasia had been legalized 30 years ago, there would probably be no need for nursing homes, and I wouldn't have had the opportunity or privilege to spend 231/2 years of my nursing career doing the best job I ever had - helping seniors with various disabilities to have the best quality of life possible within the circumstances that they found themselves in and until their life on earth ended. Even from their wheelchair or bed in a nursing home, these folks have much to teach us and share with us. This is aside from the fact that assisted suicide and euthanasia go against the commandment to not kill. We all need to speak out against this evil!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Lucado's thoughts, Mark.
The discussion has prompted several thoughts of my own, and having just read the 'interview' with Joel Boot and his acknowledgement of the need to be able to question, I guess some of my thoughts sort of question what is meant by certain phrases in the Bible.
1. I think in any situation, not just in relation to persons with disabilities, people-first language is very important. Jesus did the same during his life on earth, and with good reason. By failing to do so, we make assumptions about people that may or may not be true, and we risk not getting to know who they really are and what they are about. What a loss that would be!
2. Here's one of my questions: what does "being made in God's image" mean? Can we mortals know what God "looks" like? I think we often think of outward appearance when we ponder this verse, but perhaps this isn't what God had in mind at all. As a person who is less than able physically, I don't think too much about becoming more physically able so I will "look" more like God. I am more interested in being Christ-like in my faith and my actions, and maybe that's what God's image is all about.
3. Now here's another question: what is meant by "all will be healed when Christ returns"? Again, does this refer to physical healing, or will that be irrelevant? Perhaps the healing will be in the spiritual and emotional realm, or even a combination of all? Is this our sinful nature that tends to focus on our physical imperfections, all the while ignoring our spiritual shortcomings?
I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't think it matters to our gracious and loving God whether we are disabled or not. He is more interested in what is in our heart, and that we love Him and want to live our best for Him. As has been so ably demonstrated in examples in previous posts, we have all been given the capability to love the Lord and live for Him to the best of our abilities. Let's all be Christ-like and accept that of each other as well, able or disabled.
Rod raises some important points about caring for elderly parents with dementia. In my 23+ years of working with persons with dementia in a longterm care facility, I've come to the conclusion that it is unfair of parents to ask their children to promise that they will never place them in care. It is equally important that children not promise that they will not place their parents. The time may or will come where, for the sake of their health, safety and quality of life, placement will be necessary. In fact, it would be unethical for a hospital to discharge your parent home if it would be unsafe for your parent to continue living in their own home. My experience is that most admissions to care follow from hospitalization for fractures or other serious health issues.
There is no denying that admission to care is very traumatic for the elderly person, just as any move is, and the trauma is increased in a person with dementia. They lack insight into their disabilities, they can become extremely angry about the placement, and it can take a long time to settle in. When parents and children make promises to each other about placement, stress from guilt trips for not keeping promises invariably pursue, making the transition even more traumatic. If we are going to make promises to each other, it needs to be that we will make sure that our parent gets the best possible care available, in a care facility if necessary, that will maintain their dignity and provide care in a loving matter (as we as family would do if we could). My experience is that the move to a care faciltiy eventually results in improved health, increased cognition, and generally a better quality of life.
Mark, your experience of a family covenant is an excellent one, as long as all siblings are willing to be involved in it and adhere to it. Siblings also need to recognize that everyone cannot be equally involved in carrying for their parent. Sometimes it's geography that prevents it, sometimes it's the individual talents of the siblings that dictate, sometimes it's time management and other responsibilities that comes into play. But it is important that all siblings actively support the ones who are most involved with the parent, as they are the ones that know the needs of that parent best.
For older folks reading this, take the opportunity to discuss with your children what your wishes are should you not be able to make those decisions for yourself any more, and put those wishes in writing in a Personal Directive. Assign a family member whom you trust to honour your wishes to be your alternate decision maker, and inform all family members who that is. Also give thought and already put in place a family member whom you trust again to co-manage you financial affairs as you would wish them to be handled, so that they can continue to do so even when you can't . Having both of these things in place could also save you a lot of money in legal fees.
There is no doubt that aging is difficult, especially when it involves ill health and loss of mental faculties. But we all must face the possibility that this could, and most likely will, happen to any one of us. Take the time now to make plans for when you can no longer do so yourself. The discussions will most assuredly be difficult - in fact some may describe them as morbid - but it can also become a time of joining together as a family and pledging the best for each other. It can be a time for pledging support for each other and for you, until such time as the Lord calls you home to be with Him. Then your children will be able to celebrate the life you lived and that you are now in a perfect place, rather that mourn about what-ifs, could-haves, and regrets.
My heart pains for all victims of abuse, because of the permanent damage that it does to their psyche. There is absolutely no justification for the gratification of desire or power by the perpetrator that is inflicted on their vulnerable victims. It is my sincere hope that we as Christians will always be open and supportive and "safe persons" for all victims of abuse to share their deepest thoughts and feelings about their abuse. It is extremely important that we communicate that we believe them, regardless of how unlikely the perpetrator is alleged to be (the incidence of suicide is higher than the general population because they feel damaged, shame or that nobody believes them). Let's all be God's heart and hands to all victim of abuse, including males.
Thanks for your words, Michele. It was just over 6 years ago that I had to stop working at a job that I loved because of my disabilities. I was advised to apply for CPP Disability, which I did. I dipped into my personal RRSP to supplement my income to meet my needs, and purchased additional Blue Cross benefits. My mistake is that I did not explore other avenues of income for persons with disabilities, specifically Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped (AISH) in Alberta. It would have paid the health care expenses, enabled me to attend therapeutic pool exercises for free, and provided me with an income that would have taken into account the mortgage I am still paying on, plus saved my RRSP funds for my retirement years.
Late last fall I turned the page into "seniorhood", and things have changed again. Between CPP and provincial seniors' income, I take in several hundred more a month, have many more health and lifestyle benefits are available to me at no or minimal cost, and I am now in a position to decrease the rate at which I use up my RRSP funds.
The point is, there is financial discrimination against persons with disabilities, even in Canada. If you are facing job loss due to disability, take the time to research income strategies that will best meet your needs. An informed social worker can be a huge help. Research charitable organizations (e.g. Heart & Stroke, Parkinson's Society, Mental Health Society, Arthritis Society) that can assist you by providing items or services that would be helpful to you for free at significantly reduced cost. They can also provide a wealth of information on how to go about meeting your needs at minimal or no cost, as well as plan effectively for the future. If you are unable to do all this for yourself, seek out a trusted family member or friend to assist you.
For a recent service at Trinity here in Edmonton, we did not have a pianist available, which I don't think has ever happened before. Fortunately, the other instrumentalists booked for that service are all very talented. Our praise teams always work with the pastor to choose the songs for the service. Between choosing songs that worked for both the instrumentalists (sans pianist) and the theme of the service, everything went off without a hitch thanks to the skills of the guitarists and drummer and God's grace. It might be an interesting exercise to try it out for once to give the musicians the self-confidence that it can be done if needed.
Posted in: Your Feedback = Chance to Win
I appreciate the larger font and cleaner look. Yes, it takes time to see everything each week (and I do see everything), but it's worth it. Thankyou for giving us this forum to share/learn with/from each.
Posted in: Help Me with this Disability Stereotype
Several thoughts come to mind on this topic, Mark. We are all people first, and persons with gifts/talents and disabilities second. That applies to both abled persons as well as those with disabilities. There are "regular people" and those with special talents and gifts among abled persons. Why should there not be "regular persons" with disabilities as well as those who have special talents and gifts? In fact, God has often used their disabilities to help them discover what their gifts and talents are. And isn't that the responsibility of all of us - to discover the talents and gifts God has given us, and to use them for His glory and for the benefit of our neighbours?
One additional thought: how many people have discovered their gifts and talents through their association with persons with disabilities? I'm one of those people. When I returned to work after being a stay-at-home mom for seven years, I started working in a nursing home as a care aide until I could take a refresher course to get my R.N. registration again. I worked in this facility for over 23 years learning from my residents with dementia, mental illness and physical disabilities on how best to journey with them and meet their needs. This led to my becoming involved in the Disability Concerns ministry, with a special interest in advocating for those with dementia and mental illness, which I had time for when I became physically disabled myself and could no longer work. I have a nephew who is studying to become a neuroscientist partly because of his interest in what is happening to his father's brain and life as a result of drug use. God has given each of us talents and gifts, and it is our responsibility to discover and use them. That applies to everyone, both abled and disabled. And isn't it great when we can discover our gifts through our relationship with each other?
Posted in: A Few Pictures From the Road
Trinity CRC in Edmonton, AB. does a similar memory of a child's baptism. All those present at the baptism can sign their name on the frame to indicate that they covenant with the parents to help bring their child up in the fear of the Lord. Parents then take that frame/picture home, rather than having it hanging in the church.
The bowl idea is a wonderful one, too. Maybe that will catch on here too in response to your article.
Posted in: In Mortal Danger?
Amen and Amen! If assisted suicide and euthanasia had been legalized 30 years ago, there would probably be no need for nursing homes, and I wouldn't have had the opportunity or privilege to spend 231/2 years of my nursing career doing the best job I ever had - helping seniors with various disabilities to have the best quality of life possible within the circumstances that they found themselves in and until their life on earth ended. Even from their wheelchair or bed in a nursing home, these folks have much to teach us and share with us. This is aside from the fact that assisted suicide and euthanasia go against the commandment to not kill. We all need to speak out against this evil!
Posted in: Why Don't We Sing In Worship?
Correction to the website: www.digitalsongsandhymns.com.
Posted in: More Free Mugs (if you're subscribed)
Does that mean that if I am already subscribed I'm automatically eligible for the draw for one of your great mugs?
Posted in: Good Intentions Gone Awry
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Lucado's thoughts, Mark.
The discussion has prompted several thoughts of my own, and having just read the 'interview' with Joel Boot and his acknowledgement of the need to be able to question, I guess some of my thoughts sort of question what is meant by certain phrases in the Bible.
1. I think in any situation, not just in relation to persons with disabilities, people-first language is very important. Jesus did the same during his life on earth, and with good reason. By failing to do so, we make assumptions about people that may or may not be true, and we risk not getting to know who they really are and what they are about. What a loss that would be!
2. Here's one of my questions: what does "being made in God's image" mean? Can we mortals know what God "looks" like? I think we often think of outward appearance when we ponder this verse, but perhaps this isn't what God had in mind at all. As a person who is less than able physically, I don't think too much about becoming more physically able so I will "look" more like God. I am more interested in being Christ-like in my faith and my actions, and maybe that's what God's image is all about.
3. Now here's another question: what is meant by "all will be healed when Christ returns"? Again, does this refer to physical healing, or will that be irrelevant? Perhaps the healing will be in the spiritual and emotional realm, or even a combination of all? Is this our sinful nature that tends to focus on our physical imperfections, all the while ignoring our spiritual shortcomings?
I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't think it matters to our gracious and loving God whether we are disabled or not. He is more interested in what is in our heart, and that we love Him and want to live our best for Him. As has been so ably demonstrated in examples in previous posts, we have all been given the capability to love the Lord and live for Him to the best of our abilities. Let's all be Christ-like and accept that of each other as well, able or disabled.
Posted in: How to Work Well with Siblings when Caring for An Aging Parent
Rod raises some important points about caring for elderly parents with dementia. In my 23+ years of working with persons with dementia in a longterm care facility, I've come to the conclusion that it is unfair of parents to ask their children to promise that they will never place them in care. It is equally important that children not promise that they will not place their parents. The time may or will come where, for the sake of their health, safety and quality of life, placement will be necessary. In fact, it would be unethical for a hospital to discharge your parent home if it would be unsafe for your parent to continue living in their own home. My experience is that most admissions to care follow from hospitalization for fractures or other serious health issues.
There is no denying that admission to care is very traumatic for the elderly person, just as any move is, and the trauma is increased in a person with dementia. They lack insight into their disabilities, they can become extremely angry about the placement, and it can take a long time to settle in. When parents and children make promises to each other about placement, stress from guilt trips for not keeping promises invariably pursue, making the transition even more traumatic. If we are going to make promises to each other, it needs to be that we will make sure that our parent gets the best possible care available, in a care facility if necessary, that will maintain their dignity and provide care in a loving matter (as we as family would do if we could). My experience is that the move to a care faciltiy eventually results in improved health, increased cognition, and generally a better quality of life.
Mark, your experience of a family covenant is an excellent one, as long as all siblings are willing to be involved in it and adhere to it. Siblings also need to recognize that everyone cannot be equally involved in carrying for their parent. Sometimes it's geography that prevents it, sometimes it's the individual talents of the siblings that dictate, sometimes it's time management and other responsibilities that comes into play. But it is important that all siblings actively support the ones who are most involved with the parent, as they are the ones that know the needs of that parent best.
For older folks reading this, take the opportunity to discuss with your children what your wishes are should you not be able to make those decisions for yourself any more, and put those wishes in writing in a Personal Directive. Assign a family member whom you trust to honour your wishes to be your alternate decision maker, and inform all family members who that is. Also give thought and already put in place a family member whom you trust again to co-manage you financial affairs as you would wish them to be handled, so that they can continue to do so even when you can't . Having both of these things in place could also save you a lot of money in legal fees.
There is no doubt that aging is difficult, especially when it involves ill health and loss of mental faculties. But we all must face the possibility that this could, and most likely will, happen to any one of us. Take the time now to make plans for when you can no longer do so yourself. The discussions will most assuredly be difficult - in fact some may describe them as morbid - but it can also become a time of joining together as a family and pledging the best for each other. It can be a time for pledging support for each other and for you, until such time as the Lord calls you home to be with Him. Then your children will be able to celebrate the life you lived and that you are now in a perfect place, rather that mourn about what-ifs, could-haves, and regrets.
Posted in: What is Different about Abuse for Male Survivors?
My heart pains for all victims of abuse, because of the permanent damage that it does to their psyche. There is absolutely no justification for the gratification of desire or power by the perpetrator that is inflicted on their vulnerable victims. It is my sincere hope that we as Christians will always be open and supportive and "safe persons" for all victims of abuse to share their deepest thoughts and feelings about their abuse. It is extremely important that we communicate that we believe them, regardless of how unlikely the perpetrator is alleged to be (the incidence of suicide is higher than the general population because they feel damaged, shame or that nobody believes them). Let's all be God's heart and hands to all victim of abuse, including males.
Posted in: Climbing Together: What Disability Concerns is All About
With apologies to the folks from Camrose, I need to clarify that Kuen ascended a Rocky Mountain in Canmore.
Posted in: On Living With Disabilities and Poverty
Thanks for your words, Michele. It was just over 6 years ago that I had to stop working at a job that I loved because of my disabilities. I was advised to apply for CPP Disability, which I did. I dipped into my personal RRSP to supplement my income to meet my needs, and purchased additional Blue Cross benefits. My mistake is that I did not explore other avenues of income for persons with disabilities, specifically Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped (AISH) in Alberta. It would have paid the health care expenses, enabled me to attend therapeutic pool exercises for free, and provided me with an income that would have taken into account the mortgage I am still paying on, plus saved my RRSP funds for my retirement years.
Late last fall I turned the page into "seniorhood", and things have changed again. Between CPP and provincial seniors' income, I take in several hundred more a month, have many more health and lifestyle benefits are available to me at no or minimal cost, and I am now in a position to decrease the rate at which I use up my RRSP funds.
The point is, there is financial discrimination against persons with disabilities, even in Canada. If you are facing job loss due to disability, take the time to research income strategies that will best meet your needs. An informed social worker can be a huge help. Research charitable organizations (e.g. Heart & Stroke, Parkinson's Society, Mental Health Society, Arthritis Society) that can assist you by providing items or services that would be helpful to you for free at significantly reduced cost. They can also provide a wealth of information on how to go about meeting your needs at minimal or no cost, as well as plan effectively for the future. If you are unable to do all this for yourself, seek out a trusted family member or friend to assist you.
Posted in: The Instrument Pyramid
For a recent service at Trinity here in Edmonton, we did not have a pianist available, which I don't think has ever happened before. Fortunately, the other instrumentalists booked for that service are all very talented. Our praise teams always work with the pastor to choose the songs for the service. Between choosing songs that worked for both the instrumentalists (sans pianist) and the theme of the service, everything went off without a hitch thanks to the skills of the guitarists and drummer and God's grace. It might be an interesting exercise to try it out for once to give the musicians the self-confidence that it can be done if needed.