Elly VanAlten

I think most of us would agree that our first reponsibility is to our marriages and our children.  However, when our parents reach their later years and develop health issues and deficits, there is no doubt that they need help as well, and families need to stretch to help them out, as it should be.  But we as their church family can play an important role to help and support.  We can visit the seniors if they are lonely; we can take them for a drive or for coffee if they need an outing; we can even invite them to our own homes if they need a change of scenery.  But most of all, we can be confidantes, sounding boards, prayer partners and  encouragers for those who are ensconced in the 'sandwich generation'.  Where the need is particularly great, consider setting up a GLUE team (see www.crcna.org/pages/disability_care.cfm) to make sure no one suffers from burnout.  We need to encourage those in the sandwich generation to make sure they take time for themselves and their families.  If we all work together in this, we can be a great blessing to each other, and we will have done what Jesus would have us do.

Although it is important for all of us to prepare for our future, particularly if we are middle-aged and beyond, it is especially important to plan for the future of our dependent children.  It was this kind of thinking by CRC members in the Edmonton, AB. area who had children with developmental disabilities that led to the creation of Rehoboth Christian Ministries over 30 years ago.  It provides residential, respite, vocational, and in-home services with a Christian focus in various centers in Alberta.  It isn't easy to start a ministry like this, but Rehoboth is now a provincially accredited, highly regarded service provider.  Anyone else want to tackle this in their community?  (For more information and contact info for Rehoboth, see the online version of the Disability Handbook at the Disability Concerns link at crcna.org.)

I have so appreciated the efforts my church (Trinity CRC, Edmonton) have made to keep us connected, not only via worship (via Zoom with musicians leading the singing and congregational participation), but also for other ministries such as Coffee Break, Bible studies, weekly Prayer services, and GEMS & CADETS.  The deacons have planned for assisting members with financial difficulties and delivering needed goods.  Members of the congregation are encouraged to reach out to our elderly/lonely members, either formally or by design.  Our prayer life has been enhanced by sharing our problems and praying for each other and the world around us.  Although it will be a glorious day when we can physically meet again, we continue to remain well connected to our God, each other and our neighbors.  This is our recently revised mission statement, and the pastors and leadership of our church is doing this very intentionally even during this time of isolation. 

Thankyou for your contributing your wonderful gifts to Safe Church Ministry, Bonnie.  You will be truly missed.  I wish you the Lord's blessings as you discern what God has in mind for you next.

Greetings from Edmonton, AB.

Hey, Bro, good article. Allow me to add a few additional thoughts. With everything that is going on in this world that is based on hatred for one another, the theme of love (so appropriate on this Valentine's Day!) needs to be a very important part of our celebrations.  There is a movement in the CRC that is encouraging and equipping churches to show that love to the neighbours that surround our churches (i.e. Renewal in the CRC, Inspire 2017, and more indirectly Faith Formation).  I would like to challenge every CRC in Canada to celebrate Canada's 150th by reaching out into their community and looking for ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus by showing their love to whoever needs it.  This may not have a global effect, but it will certainly have a positive effect on the little piece of the world that our churches are located in.  May God bless the efforts of those who reach out in love to their neighbours.

Thanks for your thoughtful words, Syd.  You/ve given a name to what I have been thinking and feeling about this topic - holy uncertainty.  I was actually hoping that the tragedy that occurred in Orlando just before the discussions/decisions were to be made at Synod would have led us to the same conclusion.

I personally know 2 people who grew up in the CRC and are homosexual, and I weep when I talk to them or think about the longings that they have for both their personal and spiritual life. They want all the same things that the rest of us do - love, family, being able to use the gifts God has given them in their church, etc.  However, the CRC does not "allow" this, so they have gone elsewhere, for better of for worse.  This grieves me to no end.  I will also stand with you and weep, and pray for the Spirit's enlightenment to show us how we can be the hands and feet of Christ to persons with alternate sexual orientations.  I'm glad we as a denomination have begun to discuss this more openly, but I believe we are still a long way from making final decisions on this.  May we continue to be open to the Spirit's leading.

Rationalization of abuse is one of the most difficult situations to deal with.  "He/she has their own problems that led to it", "He/she didn't know any better", "The victim sort of asked for it/invited it", "If such-and-such hadn't happened the abuse wouldn't have happened".  The excuses (another word for rationalizations) go on and on.  However, we must all take responsibility for the decisions we make and our actions.  Bullying would stop if we taught our children to treat all others with kindness and respect (like they would want to be treated), so they can make the right decisions as well.  We all must acknowledge that we were all made in God's image and are loved by Him, and therefore must relate to each other as we would our God.

As members of a Christian church we have a huge role to play.  First of all, we need to set the example of how to relate to each other with kindness, respect and dignity.  Secondly, we need to educate on what constitutes abuse, how to recognize it, and more importantly, how to prevent it from occurring in the first place.  Thirdly, we need to address it head on if it occurs in our communities.  Finally, we need to be there to assist victims to heal from the trauma and pain of abuse.  Can we be that for each other?  That's the challenge.

Thanks for being a mover and shaker in getting The Network going and for enabling webinairs.  A special thanks for your help in doing mine!  You will be missed!  All the best in your next adventure. 

Pastors of the future for 3 churches?

Thankyou so much for sharing your story, Robin.  I wonder if you have identified why CRC churches are so reluctant to talk about abuse and promote Safe Church Ministry.  Maybe there are too many adults among us who have experienced some sort of abuse, including emotional/psychological abuse, that are not ready to face our demons.  Maybe we are reluctant to face up to the fact that there are leaders or parents among us who are responsible for those demons.  Maybe by speaking about the abuse we have endured we fear risking ruining the reputation of someone that others in the church have always looked up to, admired and respected.  Maybe in sharing our experiences we fear not being believed.  It's time to start talking about our experiences so that there can be healing for all, both victims and perpetrators!

Yes, Safe Church Ministry will continue because of people like you, Bonnie, who put stock in the statistics and care so much about those who have been abused by members of the church.  Because you and others know that the CRC church is not immune to the sin of abuse, and that it is so important to prevent it rather than deal with it once it happens.  Because we know that abuse tends to occur in situations where there is secrecy, and therefore it is so important that keep the topic of abuse out in the open and that we all be able to recognize if abuse is possible occurring.  Finally, it is my prayer that Safe Church Ministry will expand to protect and deal with abuse to every member of the CRC, even its leaders, because it is needed here as well. With God's help we will keep everyone safe.