The Forgotten Generation: Welcoming Young Adults at Church

Churches can often do amazing work supporting people through life's major transitions. A mom goes through a challenging pregnancy and delivery; the day she brings her baby home, meals show up on her doorstep like clockwork. By the time that baby starts going to kindergarten, he begins to attend Sunday School, completing well-designed crafts, learning motions to songs, and eating snacks that have been painstakingly prepared. Once he is old enough to have a school locker, the church hires a pastor specifically for youth and teens. Once he packs his life into a college dorm room, he is met by an army of campus-based ministries. If he finds a spouse, he and his partner are invited to marriage counseling. If he has kids himself, there are classes and playgroups to guide and support him.

But what about the years in between? What about the twenty-something who just moved to a new city for work? The graduate student living hundreds of miles from home? The young professional trying to make rent, build friendships, figure out a career, and follow Jesus all at the same time?

For many young adults, those years are surprisingly invisible in church life.

That's especially true for those who aren't married or don't have children. It's easy to find yourself wondering where you fit. Small groups are often organized around marriage or parenting. Sermons revolve around marriage metaphors. Simply going to church is a challenge - who should the young adult who shows up alone to church sit with? 

The reality is that adulthood has changed.

People are getting married later than previous generations. The cost of living has skyrocketed—has anyone looked at rent prices lately? Many young adults are juggling student loans, moving frequently for work or school, and trying to establish themselves in jobs and careers that are rapidly being upended by emerging technologies and economic uncertainty. Many are far from parents, siblings, and lifelong friends. 

Youn adulthood is an exciting season, but it's also often incredibly isolating, and that isolation is so often amplified in churches.

When Scripture calls the church the family of God, it isn't just using a nice metaphor. It's also not just talking about pre-made, nuclear families. Many young adults are longing for exactly that: A family. People who know their name. People who notice when they miss a Sunday. People who celebrate their promotions, grieve disappointments, drive them home from doctor's appointments, and invite them over for dinner because no one should have to eat every meal alone.

The answer isn't another program. It's relationships. It's families making room for one more person around the dinner table. It's older members who check in, offer wisdom, and become spiritual parents, grandparents, brothers, and sisters. It's inviting a young adult to join your Bible study even if they don't fit the "target demographic," and then actually making the effort to get to know them. It's asking someone to serve because you value their gifts, not because you're desperate to fill a volunteer slot.

The crazy thing is that this isn't something only pastors or ministry leaders can do. Every one of us can notice the person standing alone after the service. Every one of us can invite someone over for lunch, introduce them to or church friends, or make room for one more chair at the table.

Young adults don't need to wait until they're married, have children, or own a home before they feel like they belong in the church. They already do.

The church is at its best when it looks like the family God intended it to be: A place where every generation has something to give, something to receive, and someone who calls them family.