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Mark Stephenson on June 7, 2011

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Beautifully said. Thank you! Yes, God's grace tastes most sweet when we are the most thirsty for it, and people who have often thirsted for his grace have a wonderful gift to share with others.

Mark Stephenson on April 13, 2011

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Ken, sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. What are you suggesting I send to the churches? Tx, Mark

Mark Stephenson on April 13, 2011

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

That's a good idea. I kept a fairly low profile with this webinar because I have never led one before, so I didn't do wide promotion. Will publicize more the next time. Thanks for the suggestion. It's not available yet, but a recording of this webinar will be posted in the "Webinar Archives" at the bottom of this page.

Ken and Spitfire,

Yes, I really appreciated Rich's post for the reasons you give. I hope you take time to read his book Relentless Grace; it's honest without being self-pitying, including the parts in which he confesses his self-pity.

In our experience as parents of a child with severe disabilities, we had to be very careful to whom we spoke and what we said for fear that it might seem like we were complaining. The last thing we wanted was to have it seem that we were complaining about our daughter. But honest sharing about a typical day could sound like that. So of couse, when people asked us how we were doing, we would say, "Fine," and leave it at that.

When I instruct seminary students about pastoral care with people with long-term needs, I encourage them to take the posture of a student and the person with a disability and/or family members are the teachers. I tell them that one of the most loving things they can do is ask, "Tell me what a typical day is like," then just listen and let the other know that they are heard. For Bev and me, it was a rare and wonderful love when someone truly wanted to get educated on what a day was like in the life of our family!

Mark

Mark Stephenson on March 29, 2010

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

What a great insight. I never thought about that before. We all use "accommodations" all the time, yet those accommodations that are used mostly by people with disabilities are the ones that carry the stigma.

Will a time come when people view these kinds of accommodations not with stigma but with appreciation? Already we consider eyeglasses sometimes as fashion accessories. See this article in Fast Company magazine for a glimpse (with a caution about some inappropriate language):
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/142/super-human.html

Mark Stephenson on April 25, 2011

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Darla, thanks for your comments. It sounds as if the journey with disability is especially lonely for your family. God's blessing and strength! Mark

Mark Stephenson on February 8, 2011

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Ken, thanks for your comment. We'll have to see how this evolves. Perhaps a broader focus for a group might be good, or perhaps there may be interest in different groups. Right now Sara is exploring a possibility, and I'm giving her a little help with that exploration. Blessings, Mark

Posted in: What's Normal

The word "normal" should not be applied to worship, people, or to anything besides objects. My favorite quote about it is by Whoopi Goldberg: “Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.”

Posted in: What's Normal

Mark Stephenson on March 7, 2011

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

The word "normal" denotes conformance to a certain standard; it comes from the Latin for carpenter's square. Therefore, I doubt that most people use the word without thinking of it as prescriptive. Also, as soon as we call a certain worship pattern "normal," we imply that any change from that pattern is abnormal. Instead of describing any pattern of worship as "normal," wouldn't it be better to talk about the "usual pattern" of worship?

Mark Stephenson on December 30, 2010

In reply to by anonymous_stub (not verified)

Chong,

Thanks for sharing this. Hans Reinders has done some very helpful reflection on the image of God as well in his book, Receiving the Gift of Friendship: Profound Disability, Theological Anthropology, and Ethics. Many people say that to be made in God’s image means that we have certain abilities such the ability to think or the ability to obey or disobey God. But these ideas about the image of God exclude some people with disabilities, especially people with severe intellectual disabilities. The image of God begins with fact that we all share a common humanity and ends in God’s love. According to Reinders, we are “created in God’s love, since love is what defines the God in whom Christians believe.”

Yes, and even no diagnosis. Don't all of us who are parents wish and pray for encouragers for each of our children? I think that's why it's so important that each of us be encouragers to other people. After all, everyone is someone's child. Dr. James Kok and others have written many helpful articles on being an encourager in the Care Capsule which is part of Kok's Simple Acts of Care and Kindness website which has sections for kids, parents, and teachers.

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