Michael Vander Laan

Hi Michael,

CRCNA has not, as far as I am aware, formally approved (or disavowed) any pre-marriage or marriage or family programs of this nature. 

That being said, my wife and I have used The Marriage Course that you referenced and found it to be solid. We still use it as a resource. The best way to look at their program is that it is Biblically consistent (i.e. not contrary to scripture.) Their videos in the past have had a scripture read at the end of each lesson. However, they do not misuse the Bible as a textbook for marriage preparation, which I appreciate. They also do this to avoid over saturating their teaching with scripture references and thus alienating non-Christians or seekers from their materials. This allows The Marriage Course to be used as a first contact point with non-Christians. If you are looking for a program that primarily answers the question, "What does the Bible say about marriage?", you'd be better off looking at another program.  

Henry Dekker,

I am one of the pastors at a medium large congregation. I will add my two cents regarding practicalities to Henry DeMoor's comments (which are spot on).

Communication is very important. We currently use email to send the minutes of all committees, including the Pastoral Elders, Deacons, and an Executive Board, to all 'full' Council members. This is a gentle and regular reminder to all officebearers that they are accountable for all of the work of the congregation, not just their 'spiritual' work as you indicated concern about (though I would argue it's all spiritual...). Occasional reminders that any officebearer is welcome to attend an executive board meeting should a particular issue of concern be raised might be a good idea too.  

I would also add a concern about "lording it over" other officebearers. It is imperative that the Pastoral Elders, Deacons, and Executive be equal, parallel entities who are all accountable to the Full Council (the three together). If your executive "Council" has greater authority than the Pastoral Elders or Deacons (and especially the 'full' Council), that would be a significant issue of concern (and a violation of CO Art. 35 a).

This, however, doesn't need to require more, longer meetings. With good communication of all activities occurring in the congregation to all officebearers, each officebearer can digest these activities on their own time. When there are 'full' Council meetings (3 or 4 a year), it is only a matter of approving previous minutes and discussing any matters arising from those minutes. A complete re-hashing/re-decisioning process shouldn't be necessary except in only the rarest of situations. Hopefully this will help the officebearers focus on their particular duties while still being fully invested in the whole ministry of the congregation of which they govern on the Lord's behalf.

I hope this helps!

I would suggest you look at the Faith Formation materials, particularly the emphasis on children coming to the Lord's Table with age-appropriate faith. The situation before you could be solved with the same logic. The grade 2 child can and should be able to articulate faith in Jesus at a grade 2 level (more or less what you wrote in the post). That is what you are looking for. I would suggest very simple faith questions based on the Adult Baptism or Profession of Faith forms followed by baptism. Then he can make full Profession of Faith later when he is ready. 

The other option is to just baptize him as you would an infant purely because of the faith of the mother. I would see this as perfectly ok too.

What would make it most meaningful for the child?

I think that it is important to keep in mind that "this unity" is the unity we have in Christ. No one can become part of Christ without their will being transformed. This is not constraint. It is the gift of God.

So how do we live this as a church? Do we demand conformity to "our" way of doing things (constraint), or do we accept all Christians as a blessing from God (church life as a gift of grace)?

This is really about finding our identity and unity in Christ and not in our cultural, ethnic, stylistic, or idealistic 'gifts.' I think this has something important to say to the CRC. We are constantly struggling with conservatives vs. liberals (as if we had political parties in the church). The Belhar Confession is really calling the CRC to ditch categorizing each other and look to our unity in Christ as what matters first. Then when we have the difficult conversations, we can listen to each other as gifts to the church and not blaming the other for the numerical decline of the denomination.   

I agree with what you have said, Aaron. And Synod 2012 will need to make some hard choices given the "fighting words" which have (and likely will be) spoken.

The reason I responded was because I feel that it is very important to deeply think about how we respond to such situations. We have slipped into picking sides a bit too quickly. We need to embrace our unity in Christ!

Whether the Belhar discusses this well enought to be a 4th form of unity is not that important to me. But the Belhar Confession does discuss these situations well enough that we should interact with it honestly. In other words, we shouldn't blame the Belhar Confession for our own misbehavior.   

Obviously, this depends on the context and mindset of each individual congregation and its pastor. This is one of the questions pastors disagree about regularly, even for themselves. And this has been reflected in the various answers already given.

My current congregation has a policy that the Revenue Administrator may contact the Pastor of Congregational Care and/or Co-Chair of Elders (Pastor of Care is the other co-chair) if the Revenue Administrator is concerned that a member is not giving faithfully (read 'giving $0'). The Pastor and/or Chair of Elders may also request to know if a certain person is giving faithfully (and thus receive an answer of "yes" or "no."). Note that in this set up, the Pastor nor the Chair of Elders never know the exact amount unless it is zero. They only know if the Revenue Administrator deems a person's giving as faithful or not. The Pastor of Care can then deem which of these need new follow-up. (For instance, a college student living in another city may not need follow-up and a stay-at-home mom whose husband abandoned her is already being cared for.) The Consistory or Council as a whole NEVER know those numbers, and I would advise against it. Only the Revenue Administrator knows numbers.

I would observe from your post that the concern the elders have is not individual giving, though it may seem like it. Their concern is with overall giving and "the pattern of zeros." The elders would be well served to look at the overall culture of the church and what they can do foster generousity, understanding of the giving process, and enthusiasm for the ministry of the church. The 'touchy' issues can be dealt one-on-one by those specially trained to do so.

One thought in regards to #3: Money received for activities within one's role as a pastor probably ought to be surrendered to the church. A pastor ought not be paid twice for work that he/she is already being paid for in the salary. I think that this would include weddings for non-members (as well as funerals, etc.).

There are a number of possible reasons a person will complain about repetition. Here's some thoughts, FWIW:

1) If they complained about repetition, they were already unengaged in worship before the repetition occurred.

2) If they complained about repetition, they likely also think the service is too long.

3) If repetition bothered them, they are likely looking for theological content instead of/at the expense of meditating and experiencing what the words mean for them today. This is ok to a point. The question is whether the worship leaders can lead the community into meditating when the repetition will occur. The thinkers will likely come along then.

4) If people are complaining about repetition, are the worship leaders making the repetition eventful. No musician/composer repeats just for the sake of repeating. The repetition must have a purpose, an effect. What effect is a given repetition meant to create in a worship service? Obviously this depends on the song, but if the musicians don't know what effect the repetitions are meant to have and only do the repeats because the music says so, there's a worship leadership problem that needs attending to. 

Make repeats eventful!