Bonnie Nicholas

The risks of domestic violence are very real - many people die each year at the hand of an intimate partner. It can happen in your church. Rev. Al Miles, in the forward of his book, "Domestic Violence, What Every Pastor Needs to Know" begins with these words: "The monotony of a church board meeting was broken by a woman's screams and the sounds of a frantic scuffle in the next room. To their horror, the board discovered a highly respected church member being strangled by her husband ..." He goes on to describe how the church board members dragged the man away from his wife, and after a time of prayer, in which the man was repentant and promised never again to behave in such a way, the couple was sent home. The next morning the pastor received a call that the man had killed his wife; although she was in fact resuscitated by the paramedics. The church was split over what to do in response to the situation. It was a wake-up call to this church of the need to gain an understanding of the issue of relationship violence. This problem, though hidden, affects many people in our churches. The time to take action is now, rather than after the death of a church member. I’d encourage every church to be aware of local domestic violence resources, which can be very valuable in dealing with situations that arise. And sooner is always better than later to contact someone for help as the abuse tends to escalate over time. More information can be found on the Safe Church website (www.crcna.org/safechurch) and also here (www.theraveproject.com)

I was impressed with the actions of one church that I know of. Aware of several restraining/personal protection orders in effect between congregants, the council decided to hire a police officer on Sunday mornings to monitor the compliance of these orders – the officer is right there ready to arrest the non-compliant party. Council members are aware that they are to contact the police immediately, during other times, if any non-compliance is noted. Other churches, in slightly different situations, have worked out a written and signed covenant or agreement with parties involved so that they are never in the church at the same time. However, if one person is “terrified”, this may not be a viable option. Those who choose to abuse also often choose to deny, minimize, or rationalize their behavior. Safety and the needs of those who have been victimized must be maintained as the top priority. They should have the option to attend church without fear from those who have perpetrated abuse. That may mean that those who perpetrate abuse need to find a different church community, they are the ones to suffer the consequences of their actions, which have caused so much harm already.

The man needs professional long-term intervention; again the local domestic violence shelter may be able help point to the right kind of resources for him as well. One option would be to include the church address in the protection order so that the man may not be at church at all. It should be understood that the police will be notified of any violation of his order. Accountability is critical.

I'm glad that you are able to post anonymously in this place. (I actually don't play Dutch bingo well, not being Dutch and not having not been raised in the CRC). I agree with you that this issue is very important, and also that RestoredRelationships.org is a wonderful source for information. I hand out their "Ending Domestic Abuse: A Pack for Churches" quite often. It clearly describes the dynamics of domestic abuse, affirms that safety must remain a top priority, and includes lots of helpful tips for how churches can respond. I'm wondering how (or if) that has been recieved by the pastor, council members, or other church leaders.
 One note - anger management is not usually the best intervention in a domestic abuse situation, neither is individual or pastoral counseling. Group intervention in an accredited Batterer Intervention Program (BIP) has been shown to be most effective. The group aspect is extremely important, because those involved in group often begin to see the harm of their behavior in other group members first before they see it in themselves. Groups can also model and teach accountability and positive interaction in ways that other interventions cannot. Accredited BIPs usually include at least 52 weekly group meetings facilitated by specially trained professionals. Real change needs to be considered in terms of years rather than months. And accountability with an eye for safety must be maintained for a long, long time. In MI go to www.biscmi.org/ I think there may be links to programs in other places as well.

Professional organizations such as Batterer Intervention Programs and Domestic Violence Shelters and Service Agencies often have a good relationships with the court and criminal justice systems - these coordinated efforts are variable from place to place and are very valuable to a community. Faith communities need to be connected with them. No church should try to "go it alone" or "handle things in house" when domestic abuse is involved. The needs are usually too great, and the potential risks are way too high.

It’s important to note that any criminal background check has limitations. For starters, it’s only good until the moment it is completed. It doesn’t predict first offenses, and doesn’t include any offenses that went unreported. It may not reflect an accurate record of an offense (often plea bargains are made in court for lesser crimes, so the background check may not record the actual offense committed, only the plea deal reached in court). Depending on the criminal background check, it may only be good for the state or province in which it is conducted; and may say nothing about offenses that occurred in other places. As important as a criminal background check is, we must be aware of these limitations. Each church must weigh risks and costs, and then make a decision about how to proceed in terms of criminal background checks for staff and volunteers. It’s a good idea to check with the church’s insurance provider to see what is recommended or required. Insurance agents can be good sources for information and help to churches who may face obstacles in meeting requirements.

A criminal background check is not a panacea and does not stand alone as a method for screening church staff and volunteers. It is one part of an overall process, which includes an application, an interview, checking references, and getting to know the person in other ways. Because no screening can perfectly predict behavior, policies must also be in place and must be followed that limit risks for abuse. For example, a policy that doesn’t allow an adult to be alone with a child, and includes provisions for transportation, discipline, etc. provides an extra measure of safety.

So, back to the question; do background checks need to be repeated every three years? Given all the limitations just described, is it worth spending the money for a new background check? Some churches instead require self-reporting each year by their volunteers. In other words, each year a document is signed by the volunteer that says nothing has changed with regards to certain offenses in the last year. If a rigorous selection process was originally done, and if there are strong policies also in place, is this enough? Again, we come back to the fact that each church must continually weigh the risks and costs of its actions. The church must come to a decision that it can live with; one that gives peace of mind that due diligence has been done to create and maintain a safe environment. There are costs (time, energy, money) involved in providing a safe environment in our churches. If you’ve ever had to deal with the horrific after-effects of abuse, you know that the resources spent preventing it from happening in the first place are well worth it.

Welcome Amanda! You are an answer to many prayers! I'm deeply encouraged by the gifts and abilities that you bring to this role. May the Lord add his blessings to you and to your Safe Church Ministry work.